You Can Buy A Set Of Winston Churchill-Worn Dentures If You're Into That Sort Of Thing
If you're the kind of person who is always in the market for some kind of conversation piece to put on a shelf or pull out for special occasions, may I suggest Winston Churchill's dentures?
I'm not sure if there are people who collect dentures out there or not. That seems like the kind of habit that would (and probably should get you put on some kind of watch list). However, next to maybe George Washington's wooden chompers, I don't know that there's a bigger holy grail in the denture-collecting world than Winston Churchill's genuine gold-mounted false teeth.
According to Smithsonian Magazine, the British Bulldog's removable pearly whites are hitting the auction block in February. They're expected to sell for somewhere in the neighborhood of £8,000, which is around $10,000.
I'm not up to speed on the celebrity denture market, but that seems like a steal to me. I mean, those phony chiclets were used to deliver some of the most famous speeches of the 20th century.
If I had the money, I'd buy them. Simply because those were probably the teeth used for Churchill's "We Shall Fight On The Beaches" speech. A piece of that serves as the intro for live performances of Iron Maiden's song "Aces High."
So for like $10K, you could have a piece of world history and heavy metal history. That's a bargain...
Well, at least, they're a lot cheaper than Kanye's teeth.
Put Them On A Shelf Or In A Glass Case, But You May Not Want To Take Your Winston Churchill Dentures For A Test Drive
I don't know what you do with those teeth after you buy them though. Probably just put them in a case so you can say to dinner guests, "Hey see those over there? Y'know whose teeth those are? Winston Churchills," then everyone oohs and aahs.
I guess you could pop them in from time to time. Only for special occasions or if you're trying to impress a woman.
On second thought, maybe those aren't teeth you want to wear. Churchill had some gnarly teeth, even by English standards. He had lost most of them by the time he was in his twenties so he spent the bulk of his life with dentures.
It's believe that these gold-mounted dentures date to around the start of World War II, which is around the time he became Prime Minister.
You've got to respect Churchill taking over as Prime Minister and despite dealing with war, one of his first thoughts was, "Someone fetch me some gold teeth."
What a guy.
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