Would-Be Sasquatch Hunter Calls Sheriff To Make Sure 'Squatch Hunting Is Legal

When I was growing up, I was obsessed with cryptozoology. For the uninitiated, that's the study of unknown animals. 

I'd watch every documentary I could find on the subject, even after I realized that nothing ever happens at the end because if someone captured proof of Sasquatch or the Loch Ness monster, it would be mentioned on the real news, not tucked away on deep cable.

I still love that stuff, even though I'm less inclined to believe we're going to find any new creatures thought to be the stuff of legend lurking anywhere other than the bottom of the ocean (though it has happened; look up the Okapi). I just think it's all kind of fun.

However, if anyone does hunt or catch themselves a Sasquatch I hope it's the guy who called a Washington Sheriff to get some info regarding the legality of 'squatch hunting.

That guy is prepared and making sure he dots I's and crosses T's before he shoots Sasquatch (or a guy in an ape costume) in the face.

The Stevens County Sheriff's Office in Washington — the heart of Bigfoot country — posted the details of a phone message they received from the hunter.

The caller said they'd be in the area next month and wanted to hunt in the Big Meadow Lake area. 

However, while the employee who took the call tried to point the hunter in the direction of the Fish & Wildlife folks, the caller wanted to know about the Sasquatch hunting rules and regulations.

"Mr. [redacted] has concerns about how to stay legal while hunting the Big Meadow Lake area because our state regulations are unclear regarding Sasquatch hunts."

By the way, are any states clear on that? I know hunting laws can get a little confusing and vary a great deal, but I'm not sure if any states have said, "Yeah, if you see Bigfoot, blast away, pally."

The caller asked if shooting the creature was legal within the county and if his regular hunting license would be good enough to make the hunt legal.

I love the preparedness, and while I'm sure the Sheriff's Department appreciated the heads up, they said that area wasn't even under their jurisdiction.

Also, they claim there are no Sasquatch in the area. How do they know that? Because a deputy hasn't clobbered one with a car yet.

"There are no Sasquatch in Stevens County.  We know this because one of our deputies would have accidentally hit one with a patrol car by now!"