'World's Sexiest Athlete' Gets Freaky In Paris, New Duke Sideline Reporter Rocks Durham & What A Walmart Fight

It's Friday, I've got a nesting to get my house prepared for, a lawn to mow (sorry Joe), and beer to drink. We're not screwing around today. Things to do, houses to clean, lawns to mow and beers to drink. Not in that order, of course. 

If we're lucky, maybe I'll also have golf balls to hit. Maybe. I'm grinding this afternoon just to have a shot. We'll see. It's gonna take some massaging with the First Lady. 

Oh, what's a nesting, you ask? Great question. 

Best I can tell, it's a baby shower, except all the women come to my house and do a bunch of chores that my wife gives them for a few hours tomorrow afternoon. Honestly, it sounds like a pretty good deal, to me. Beyond me having to frantically clean my house … just so all the ladies can come over tomorrow and … clean my house … I'm all in. 

If y'all wanna fold my future son's clothes and put them in his dresser, and clean my kitchen, and organize his closet … knock yourselves out. More power to you. Oh? I have to leave the house for a few hours while y'all do it? Oh no! Please don't make me! How will I pass the time on a Saturday afternoon? Tough call. 

On that note, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we light the fire in Paris with Alica Schmidt, the World's Sexiest Athlete, and then get down to business back here in the states. 

What else? I've got the Cavinder twins ending July with a bikini dance-off, a new Duke football recruit that has the internet turned on, Jerry Jones being diabolical as hell, and the best of the best from the week that was. 

Whew. Sound good? Lord, I hope so, because it's what you're getting. 

Grab you a bagel for National Bagelfest Day – whatever that is – and settle in for a Frenetic Friday 'Cap!

I think Jerry Jones may be losing his fastball … or a genius 

Look, I'd go into some sort of wild bagel tangent to fill time, but I've already told you that I don't have it today. Remember? It's Nesting Eve. 

That being said, the most underrated combo of all time is a sausage, egg and cheese on a blueberry bagel. You haven't lived until you tried that. I used to dominate those at Emerson College. Frankly, it was just about the only good thing about that woke place. 

Anyway, just try it. Trust me. You're welcome. 

Now, let's quickly head on over to Jerry's World and try, just for a second, to live in … Jerry's world:

The Cavinder Twins aren't ready for summer to end just yet

I know I share that clip a lot, but it applies now more than ever. 

He creeps me out … but I think he also might be a genius. That's Jerry Jones in a nutshell. He's Robert California, which makes so much sense. 

What the hell did he just say? I have no clue. But, is that because he's full of shit … or am I just too dumb to understand it? Jerry's a billionaire. He didn't become a billionaire by being stupid. So, I assume whatever he just said was smart and just too much for my peasant brain to comprehend. 

Anyway, good luck to Dak getting that new contract. Sounds like you will. Or won't. I don't know. 

Speaking of people associated with the Dallas Cowboys, let's check in with the Cavinder Twins on this final Friday of July!

Walmart TUSSLE, Finebaum hates Matt Rhule, Duke girl & emptying the tank

Summer time, indeed! Welcome back to class, Hanna and Haley. Been a while. What a run for these two, by the way. 

First you had Haley and Cowboys TE Jake Ferguson going steady last fall, only to be one-upped by Hanna, who just last week jumped in head first with Georgia QB Carson Beck. What a battle we have brewing between these two for the ultimate sports power couple. Unreal. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this final Friday of July. First up? Speaking of battles …

Goodness gracious. What the hell is going on here? I mean, it's not a fair fight, for starters. I have no idea who started it, what was said, etc … but I do know the old man rocking socks and sandals, who is a solid two feet smaller and 30 years older, was never going to come out on top here. 

Now, I do give him credit for getting resourceful and using the shopping cart. Smart. But also, have y'all pushed a Walmart buggy lately? 

I don't know about yours, but the ones at our Walmart are literally the heaviest things on this planet. It's insane. If the old dude can lift it up like that, maybe he stood a chance after all. 

Next? You know who could 100 percent not lift one up? Paul Finebaum, which is unfortunate for him because he may need to at some point this college football season if he finds himself in Lincoln:

Goodness gracious me. Paul just stuffed poor Matty R. from Nebraska in a locker. Nobody loves the SEC more than Paul Finebaum. Guy will die for that league. 

And by the way … he's 100 percent right on this one. Hey, Matt Rhule – piss off. You guys lost to COLORADO last year. You're lucky you still have a seat at the table. 

Hell, I'd take Duke at this point over Nebraska – especially now that influencer Rachel DeMita will be prowling the sidelines this fall:

Who's excited for some Blue Devil football this year?! Welcome to Durham, Rachel! Make sure to ask OutKick's SeanJo for some of the best spots to hit up. I hear he lives close by! 

OK, let's empty the Twitter bookmarks from the week before we head on into the weekend with Alica Schmidt:

World's Sexiest Athlete Alica Schmidt takes us home

I tell you what, this chick's career is gonna take off like a rocket ship if Kamala Harris wins this thing. It's too good. The laugh? Chills. Every time. Just chills. And not the good kind. 

OK, that's all for today. And for this week. Final weekend of July. Make it count, fellas. 

Take us home, Alica Schmidt. And good luck in Paris!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You understand Jerry Jones? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.