Woman Arrested For Taking A Dump In Convenience Store’s Walk-In Beer Cooler
There are certain things we've all agreed upon as a society that you just can't do. One of them is taking a dump in your local convenience store's walk-in beer cave.
There might come a day when that's more acceptable. We used to generally agree that you shouldn’t poop on the sidewalk either. But that day hasn’t arrived.
A Pennsylvania woman gave it a try anyway. Now she's been arrested and charged with several crimes. Last week, 47-year-old Crystal Gauss, police say, walked into a Royal Farms convenience store in Hanover and pooped on a shelf in the walk-in beer cave.
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The Evening Sun reports that Hanover Borough police were called to the store on the morning of April 8 for a report of a woman defecting in the store. Store employees said that the woman had entered the store just before 5 p.m. on April 7 and made her way to the beer cave.
They had security camera footage that backed those claims and allegedly showed the woman, later identified as Gauss, pushing a case of alcohol back on a shelf, pulling her pants down, and taking a crap on the shelf.
There are certain lines when it comes to where you take a dump that can't be crossed
The woman then walked out as if she hadn’t just crapped in the beer cave. Who does that? Who takes a dump in a beer cave and doesn’t buy a drink and a snack for the ride home?
The Smoking Gun reports that the alleged beer cave popper lives roughly a mile from the store and is the Director of Food & Nutrition for the local school district.
According to the affidavit, nearly $80 ($78.85 to be exact) worth of products in the beer cave were damaged during this incident.
The Evening Sun says that Gauss was charged with a misdemeanor count of open lewdness and summary counts of scattering rubbish. That one sounds like it's been around for a while.
She was also charged with criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. Pooping on the sidewalk is one thing, entering a sanctuary such as the local convenience store's beer cave and doing so cannot, in a proper society, be tolerated.