White House Decorations Suck, Fan Grabs Kacey Musgraves, Demon Girl Trashes Walmart & Beer Is Good For You!
Last year, some of you got your tinsel in a twist over my rules for Christmas decorations.
To recap:
- Christmas decorations should be Christmas colors: red, green, silver, gold. That's it. No pink and purple blue, or neon rainbows.
- Inflatable yard ornaments are tacky, and the only appropriate place for them is in their boxes on the shelves at the Home Depot.
- Real trees only.
I'm not sure why everyone was so mad in my email inbox about this last year. After all, these are just the rules for MY house. Y'all can do whatever you want in your own home. Hell, an inflatable Santa can ride a plastic Christmas tree through a pile of purple balloons in your living room for all I care.
And, even if you did exactly that, it somehow still wouldn't be as bad as what is going on at the White House.
I mean, what in tarnation is happening here? It's like they did everything they could to AVOID Christmas colors, and someone cut those streamers with a pair of left-handed child safety scissors.
At first I thought P.T. Barnum must have come back from the dead and found another baggie of cocaine stashed in the West Wing. That's the only explanation.
But then I remembered that it's the First Lady who is in charge of White House Christmas decorations, so this one's on Dr. Jill — which is just further proof that the entire Biden family is out of control.
You may be able to pardon guns, drugs and tax evasion, Joe, but these "Christmas" decorations are unforgivable.
Ain't no party like a Nightcaps party, though. So grab a festive cocktail and relax into the glow of whatever holiday decorations you're into. Let's roll.
Fan Gets Handsy With Kacey Musgraves
Don't touch the talent, people!
Kacey Musgraves decided to take a stroll through the crowd — always a risky move — during a show in Tampa over the weekend, and a fan decided to get a whole handful. As the country folk singer waltzed back to the stage, some jackass reached out, grabbed her and stopped her in her tracks.
"What the f*ck?!" Kacey said.
Now, fellas, don't get mad at me. But I immediately assumed this overzealous, handsy concertgoer was a dude. But you know what they say when you assume… you might be completely wrong and the culprit might be a woman.
A "Tampa, b*tch," to be more specific.
If you're a Womansplaining reader, you know my spiel about that word. Similar to another slur (which I will never say), the "B-word" is something we women are allowed to use with each other. Men, however, need to remove it from their vocabulary. If you don't like that, go argue with a wall.
But in this case, I'm simply quoting Kacey Musgraves. The following night, during her show in Hollywood, Fla., Kacey recounted the incident to her fans.
"Last night, this Tampa b*tch," she began, as the crowd booed. "I know. She kind of ruined it. She kind of ruined it for everybody."
Just before getting back to her set, she added: "I thought I was gonna have to get real East Texas on her. Take off my earrings. Um, well Florida goes hard. It felt a little bit like when you type your name and birth date into the Florida man thing, but Tampa girl popped up."
That might actually be entertaining to see. I bet Kacey can fight. And she might have to if people don't stop acting like uncivilized weirdos at concerts.
Speaking of:
Morgan Wallen & Zach Bryan Got Plunked
Morgan Wallen was hit with a cellphone while singing his hit "Cowgirls" in Denver. The phone hit him directly in the shoulder, but the singer didn't skip a beat, immediately picking up the phone and throwing it in the opposite direction.
He didn't win Entertainer of the Year at the CMA Awards for nothing, folks!
Maybe these people have a lot more money than I do, but I can't imagine why anyone would sacrifice their expensive phone for no reason. As I write this, I'm looking at my trusty iPhone 12 lying next to me on the couch. The back is busted all to hell, and it has to be charged so often that it's basically a landline at this point.
But we're riding 'til it dies, baby.
Anyway, here's the video of that fan launching a phone at Wallen:
Recently in Tacoma, Wash., a fan threw a UFO on stage that hit one of Zach Bryan's bandmates.
It's unclear if the unidentified object was supposed to hit Zach himself, but we're going to need Dave Portnoy's alibi just in case.
But seriously — WHY are people throwing things on stage? What is the point, exactly?
Last year, Bebe Rexha suffered extensive facial injuries after a fan chucked his phone at her during a concert in New York City.
Another lunatic threw her mother's ashes on stage during a Pink performance at a festival in London. Kelsea Ballerini was struck by an unknown item thrown by a concertgoer during a show in Boise, Idaho. And Lil Nas X fans threw a sex toy at him in Sweden.
There was also that fan who FAFO'd when she threw a full drink at Cardi B on stage. In return, that fan took a microphone fastball to the face, courtesy of the raunchy rapper. And I don't often say this, but good for Cardi B.
Anyway, can y'all behave yourselves, please? Concert tickets are expensive enough without having to subsidize the artists' impending hospital bills from dangerous projectiles being launched at the stage.
Beer Is Good For You!
The Libs are always telling us to "trust the science," and guys, I've found some science we can all get behind: Beer is good for you!
At least, according to a fella named Tony Torgerud. Tony is the CEO of Apple Rush (a beverage company) and leads the team at an Illinois microbrewery called Lena Brewing. So, clearly, he has no incentive to lie to us and try to make us drink more beer.
Just some bros getting a healthy dose of antioxidants!
(Getty Images)
Anyway, I think we should hear Tony out.
But he's very specific about the kind of beer that brings health benefits… the craft kind, of course. Because craft beer "contains specialty ingredients like fruits and botanical compounds."
"These natural compounds, when consumed in moderation, have been linked to health benefits, such as antioxidant effects that may help reduce inflammation and support heart health," Tony explained.
Good enough for me! Cheers, y'all.
Little Demon Girl Trashes Wal-Mart
As a childless dog lady, I don't offer unsolicited parenting advice – or solicited, for that matter.
But I'm pretty sure whoever's in charge of this girl is doing it wrong.
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OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.