Wheel Of Fortune Contestant Brags About Being Good At Simon Says, Pat Sajak Does His Best To Feign Interest

Pat Sajak is counting down the days until he turns the Wheel of Fortune keys over to Ryan Seacrest, and I don't think he has ever been more ready to hang it up than during a recent interview with a contestant.

Sajak — Ed Grimley's favorite gameshow host — was interviewing a fella by the name of Joel. Now, I'm sure Joel is a nice enough guy, but when it came to the in-game interview, he didn't exactly bring it. 

I know it's tough to come up with something when someone puts you on the spot by asking "Tell us something interesting about yourself," but I've got to think Joel could have dredged up a better answer than the one he gave, which was that he's great at Simon Says.

People like to brag like to brag about their skills," Pat said. "I'm not sure I would brag about this one: you're an expert at doing Simon Says."

"You would not believe how often that comes in handy," Joel said.

If it's more than "never," yes, color me surprised.

"You just get in a spot where someone needs to fill space for a little bit of time, you know something about that," he said to Sajak. "And then you just have to do something to be able to keep things going."

"Simon says, what did he mean by that?" Sajak said, speaking as the consciences of everyone watching.

I still can't figure out what Joel meant by this either. Did he mean he was better at being the person who does what they're told? That doesn't seem like something to be proud of.

Or did he mean he was good Simon? I still don't even know how you determine that. Is that he goes with "Simon, says do a jumping jack" when most others would go with the played out "Simon says, touch your toes?"

Or did he just mean he's good at knowing when to play Simon Says?

So many unanswered questions…

Interviews Like This Have To Be The Most Excruciating Part Of Hosting A Game Show

Pat Sajak is a trooper. He’s been in the game show-hosting world for a long time and the most draining part of his job isn’t selling vowels or determining whether or not someone pronounced a puzzle properly, it’s having to listen to — and pretend to be interested in — three of these player interviews every show.

Feigning interest as much as Pat has to must feel like running a marathon.

It’s why people get exhausted from having to watch kids. Pretending their pictures and jokes aren’t terrible is exhausting. You and I know your own 4-year-old’s knock-knock joke isn’t Dixie Cup-worthy. Hell, the Popsicle brand popsicle factory wouldn’t even waste its time printing it on a piece of balsa wood. You just can’t let the kid know that or they’ll have "self-esteem issues."

That’s why when kids tell me their jokes I always say, "Good… but I wouldn’t open with it." I don’t want to shatter their ego, but if they think they’re not going to lose the audience on open mic night at the Ha-Ha Hut, they’re in for a rude awakening.

Simon Says legend Joel is one of the more uninteresting interviews I've ever seen, but I'd like to hand the grand prize to the Jeopardy! contestant who once talked Alex Trebek's ear off about how he and his wife plan day trips around collecting pressed pennies.

Man, I miss Alex Trebek. Not just for that flawless French he liked to flex on occasion, but for his calm demeanor when having to sit through this. 

He was so good, I almost believed for a moment that he gave half a s--t about pressed pennies.

However, even the late great Jeopardy! host couldn't hold it together when a contestant tried to tell him about her love of "nerdcore hip-hop."

I think there will be some things Pat will miss about Wheel. Like I'm sure they have great craft services.

However, there won't be a single moment in his retirement years when he stops and thinks, "Damn, I miss interviewing dudes about their Simon Says prowess."