Weather Girl Yanet Garcia Enters Dog Days Of Summer, Elly De La Cruz Has A Rifle & Nick Saban Is Still Taking The Stairs
That was an interesting first experience at Micro Wrestling
I can officially scratch Micro Wrestling off the bucket list and what a show it was last night at a local bar where they set up the micro wrestling ring just off the volleyball courts.
Micro wrestling observations:
• These guys are pure athletes. All the wokes out there screaming about how this is exploitation can kiss my ass. Let's see the wokes pick up a 280-pound Native American micro-wrestler and slam him to the mat. It's not happening. But Micro world champion Hot Rod, a flyin' Hawaiian who insulted nearly every special interest group while addressing the crowd, picked up Chief Littlefoot and slammed his micro ass to the mat at least 1-2 times.
Here's Chief Littlefoot reacting to Tomahawk chops from the crowd in Rossford, OH:
• The characters are awesome. You had Disco Dom, a heel who loved to give the fans double-barrel middle fingers, and Redneck Brawler on one team with Hot Rod. The good guys featured Chief Littlefoot, Zach Presley (who is a micro Elvis) and Jamaican Jo. The MC of the event is Little Ozzy, who, as you would guess, looks like a micro Ozzy Ozbourne.
• I'm told Disco Dom completely insulted Ohioans multiple times while on the mic before his match. You're damn right I'm pissed I missed it. Wish I had a video.
• The night ended with a 6-man micro match featuring the heels vs. good guys that saw Chief Littlefoot pull off a double micro suplex of Hot Rod and Disco Dom. Again, pure athleticism. I lost track of the ending but Jamaican Jo covered up, I think it was Hot Rod and won the world micro title.
I'm not sure how the belt could change hands during a 6-man micro match, but that's what Little Ozzy was yelling over the microphone.
What an event. What an amazing people-watching opportunity. Now I need to see the micro wrestling down in Statesboro, Georgia that I found out about like 4-5 years ago where the micros wrestle at The Blue Room. I'm told that's like the Madison Square Garden of micros.
Conclusion: Micro wrestling is a PARTY. Micro came at the right time this week. We're in the middle of the summer grind where there are very few sports of interest going on and we don't have a huge story playing out right now. It's a massive grind to get to football. Micro wrestling got me out of that grind for an hour and it felt amazing. Finally, stay home, wokes, we don't want you ruining the vibe.
6-foot-5 Screencaps legend Diesel with his micro buddies:
Observations on a rainy day
• Bo in Michigan writes:
Joe, as always thanks for the ray of sunshine on a (thankfully) rainy day here in north (or south) MI. Had to get the mow in yesterday after an extended drought break. Today’s Caps hit whatever nerve a semi-retired 60-year-old has left.
1. Unless you get paid to play golf, it’s a course. Hoping the “bros” don’t ruin golf like they did bourbon and microbrews. “Track” dudes probably wear onesies with little George Jetsons swinging a club on them.
2. The $4k grill and the impact of interest rates belonged back to back in the column. Not to go all Dave Ramsey, but the best thing you can do is save and pay cash.
3. As you get a little older, you start to downsize (translation: get rid of unnecessary s&!t). Unless that $4k grill comes with fake boobs, it ain’t impressing anyone with a functioning brain.
4. The Tour de France is badass, but I’m not watching it unless Lance Armstrong is racing. Damn right I’m old.
5. If Bud Light had done a can for RuPaul instead of Mulvaney, they likely would’ve seen a fraction of the blowback. Dumbasses.
6. These 2 hour MLB games have me hooked. Have watched more games this year by a wide margin.
Kinsey:
Great observations from Bo. I encourage more of you to riff on the subjects of the day or subjects on your mind. No. 6 is super important this summer. I don't know about you guys, but I'm hearing more and more people telling me about how they're suddenly BACK on the baseball train due to the pace.
Is is possible we actually didn't enjoy slow baseball games where there was no clock and games could just go on and on?
The $4,000 Traeger
• Florida Chris B. writes:
What can you do with the $4,000 Traeger that you can’t do with the cheaper models?
Show it off to your neighbors, I guess. I wouldn’t know: we buy a new two-fitty Char-Broil every couple years when the rust eats through the old one.
• Guy G. in western New York writes:
There are few things that I spend money on, that is just for me. Sure we just returned from our vacation in the mountains at a fancy hotel, and the kids are spoiled, and the farm has equipment that isn’t “needed”, but money on my stuff is limited. Except for grills. Sitting on the deck now, is over $6000 worth of grills. Between the Egg, gas/charcoal/electric smoker, griddle, and open fire grill, it adds up. This doesn’t include trailer smoker, grills, burners and pits that aren’t on the deck. 15 years ago, it cost $3000 to build the chicken pits. (600 chicken halves when it’s full size).
I will be building a new barrel smoker in the next few weeks, plans for the smokehouse are finalized, and the wagon style cooker featured Wednesday in SC will be built soon as well.
That brings me to my main point. I have my eye on a $8000 custom offset stick burner smoker. This will be the focal point of my outdoor cooking setup. It’ll smoke enough meat and vegetables to feed a platoon! 10 packer briskets, 10 racks of ribs, and 10 whole chickens…at the same time!!! Spending the money to do a lot, a lot better, makes the whole thing worth it. When I’m purchasing high-dollar pieces, I know that the cook will be better on the higher-priced units. It’ll heat faster, cook evenly, and hold the heat better. The porcelain egg, compared to the ceramic egg is night and day. The 38” Weber cooks better than the 15” knockoff I use at concert tailgates.
All the funds that I have into my cooking devices is fun. Different ways to experience food and the process. We have a couple parties a year, and I’ve been selling to guys at work for a while, but it’s mostly about having fun with it. We took 2 grills on vacation, and ‘tailgated’ every morning and evening in the parking lot.
I should really open a stand, and spend my days cooking….
Kinsey:
Guy just said there's an $8,000(!!!) smoker out there! I'm officially shook right now.
• Jake H. writes:
Had to laugh out loud seeing Mike T.’s Traeger picture, that’s exactly what mine looks like. Long story short, for the past 15 years my in-laws have had above-ground pool parties every Saturday during the summer at their house, 10 of which with the Traeger.
4 years ago, my father-in-law didn’t quite have the energy to keep up with cleaning the pool all the time, so we decided to put in a pool in our backyard and continue with the tradition and he gifted us his aged and seasoned Traeger, best gift he’s ever given us and I’ve never looked back. I don’t need any of the fancy bells and whistles of the brand-new ones, I enjoy the simplicity of throwing everything on the one rack and getting back to the patio and pool.
It’s the well-seasoned grills I enjoy the most. Side note, I did spray the cover with a high-heat black spray paint (dropped it and popped the Traeger logo off), it’s appeared to hold up well and I’ll probably scrub the exterior in the fall and apply it all around. Keep up the great work!
That number feels high, right
• Mike T. writes:
How much income would you need to feel rich? Here's the answer Americans surveyed gave.
I would assume they don’t enjoy the patio life!
Kinsey:
$233k to feel secure? LOLOLOLOLOL. Like Mike T. said, spend a few weekends on the patio living the slow life, you idiots. Too many people trying to keep up with the Joneses.
It's time for Indy Daryl to show these financially irresponsible fools how to live a full life
• Indy D. writes:
Up here in northern Wisconsin after a crazy storm that eventually knocked out power for about 8 hours, we were treated to an incredible sunset punctuated by an amazing rainbow. Hope everyone has a great Friday!
That's it this morning. We're good and fired up to finish the week strong. I'm not going to lie, we've officially made it to the dog days of summer. I can feel it. How do I know? I spent an hour last night enjoying Stage 6 of the Tour de France and the scenery. That's my sign we've made it.
Now we have to get through it. We have to power through. Yes, it's going to take great strength, but we all need to channel our inner Chief Littlefoot.
Good luck out there today. Go kill it.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com