If We Lived In A Hunger Games World, What Would Each U.S. District Do In A Rebellion? ANALYSIS
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live in a nation that resembles anything like what we saw in the hunger games.
You know, those movies from the mid 2000s that every teenage girl watched for either Liam Hemsworth or Josh Hutcherson (and every dude watched for Jennifer Lawrence)? The one where a totalitarian government is incredibly oppressive to its people and strips them of basic freedoms?
Oh, wait. We might already be living in a Hunger Games world. Insert crying emoji here.
But there is one stark difference between the nation of Panem and the United States: we are not currently split up into districts.
However, someone on X got the brilliant idea of splitting up the United States into five hypothetical districts, and it’s super intriguing.
I spent way too much time analyzing each of these regions and what each one would potentially do (I’m almost at the end of my shift and reached a slow point, so I find this incredibly stimulating). One of the assumptions I made about this world was that there would be a rebellion that would overthrow the government, just like in Panem.
And that led to the list of superlatives that I created, one for each district.
Without further review, let’s dive in. Let me know your thoughts at john.simmons@outkick.com.
Most likely to side with the Capitol: District 5
Let’s assume for the moment that the government the US would face in this scenario is very similar to the totalitarian dictatorship in Panem (we’ll call it, "The Capitol," very original, I know). If that’s the case, then that government could count on District 5 siding with them.
I hate to admit it, especially given that I live in New Hampshire. But there are just too many progressives up here. Nearly all the states in this region vote blue in presidential elections, with few exceptions. Hell would freeze over faster than this district cutting ties with the government; in fact, the Capitol's capital would probably be in New York City!
Most likely to play the role of Switzerland: District 4
If you’ve ever been to the Midwest, you’ll know that people out there are really nice – like suspiciously nice. Comedian Tim Hawkins stated it perfectly in this bit.
With that in mind, I can’t foresee this district posing any problem to the Capitol, simply because they’d be too nice to get involved. They’d be like, "Oh don’t ya know, there’s a conflict brewin' in our nation! But I hate conflict too much, so I’m just gonna stick to drinking beer and cheering for mediocre college football teams while that happens."
(I’m assuming college football still exists in this dystopian future. If the Capitol outlaws it, then I’m pretty sure the entire country would revolt).
So those are two districts that the capitol would probably not have to worry a lot about. But all that changes with District 3.
Most likely to overthrow the government and set up a newer, more based one: District 3
There’s one word that should make everybody who is a part of the Capitol shake in their boots: Texas.
That state alone could overthrow America and run its own empire. But when you have a state of people that hate the government, love guns, and are wildly independent – and combine that with a dozen other states that think along the same lines as them, you’ve got a force that would make any opposing military scared for their lives.
If District 3 ever got any rebellious ideas, the Capitol wouldn’t be able to handle that uprising - and the country would be in much better shape.
Most likely to be too far away to be useful for anything: District 2
If we were thinking about military strategy in this hypothetical world (which we now are), District 2 doesn’t really offer a lot to either side. There just aren’t a lot of people living in these six states, and if there’s any conflict that would break out, it will be in District 3 or 5 - and that’s just too far away for District 2 to get involved with. Regardless of what side they support (and I could see that going either way), they wouldn’t bring much to the table.
Except for a bountiful supply of potatoes, that is. Idaho would save this district from being completely useless.
Most likely to become this nation’s version of District 13: District 1
I know that this region leans very progressive, thanks in large part to Commie-fornia. But there are some pockets of conservatives out there who might rebel against the capitol.
If that were the case, any separatist would have a HUGE terrain advantage against the Capitol in a war. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Utah, Arizona, or anywhere within those states, but that is a rugged section of the country. Canyons, deserts, and mountains are more common than rain, people, and animals out there. If all the rebels joined forces to provide support to the rebellion, they would have tons of fantastic options to set up an under-the-radar (yet massive) base.
Could you imagine if District 1 set up a rebel force in the Grand Canyon? (Photo By: MyLoupe/UIG Via Getty Images)
I mean, how dope would it be if they turned the Grand Canyon or the Colorado Rockies into the nucleus of a bunch of guerrilla warfare fighters? The possibilities of this are boundless - and so fun to think about. They'd basically be District 13, but so much cooler.
Again, I certainly hope this never happens. I hope our country can go back to being a solid Constitutional Republic and not be run by liberals. But if we get a Hunger Games-esque future, I think this is what each region would bring to the table in a rebellion.
What did I get wrong? What did I get right? What would your list have looked like? Let me know: john.simmons@outkick.com.