Washington State Strippers Want A Bill Of Rights

If Washington state strippers have their way, they'll soon have a Bill of Rights that will protect them from abusive DJs and customers who can't keep their hands to themselves. 

If the "Stripper Bill of Rights" can make its way through the Washington state legislature, ladies who shake it to AC/DC, Warrant and Motley Crue hits would have rights that strippers around the country could only dream of. The legislation would "require a security guard at each club, keypad codes to enter dressing rooms, training for employees on preventing sexual harassment, and procedures if a customer is violent. They would also require training on how to de-escalate conflict between dancers, employees and customers, and signs stating that dancers are not required to hand over tips," according to the Associated Press. 

The bill would cap the fee strippers would have to pay to work a shift at $150. Some strippers report that fee is currently $200 at some clubs. 

In what is a complete shock based on modern politics, Republicans and Democrats seem to be on the same page here. They want the strip clubs to be safe for the women while allowing business owners to flourish. 

"We also want to make sure that we’re doing this correctly and striking the right balance for, not just the workers, but communities and neighborhoods as well," Washington House Minority Leader Drew Stokesbary (R.) told the AP. 

Look, I don't want to get too deep into legislation here. I want to look at this from a practical level. Do you want DJs harassing these women over tips after they've been stripping for 4-6 hours and working their asses off while DJ Bret was standing in his booth spinning "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry? 

I don't. 

These chicks just want to get home, take a long hot shower to clean off the war paint and then slid into bed and snuggle up with their fuzzy Costco blankets. 

And how are there clubs that don't have security guards? That just seems automatic. 

I dare you to walk into a New York City and try something. Those door guys will make you fear for your life. Come on, Washington, get it together. These are simple Bill of Rights rights that we can draw up on a napkin at the low-lit bar with Cheri & Mari (pronounced Mary) massaging each shoulder. 

By the way, here's something fascinating about Washington state's strip club scene: There are just 11 clubs across the state. 

ELEVEN. 

And they can't sell alcohol (for now). That's probably in the Bill of Rights. We'll have to investigate a little further. 

Are you a Washington state stripper? Have you dated a Washington state stripper? Are you married to a former Washington state stripper? Let me know the conditions out there. The state doesn't seem like it's the strongest in the Union for strippers. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com