Wanting To Spend The Day In Orlando Airport Does Not Make Me A Psycho (Alright, Maybe It Does A Little)

Orlando, Florida is known as "The City Beautiful." Why not "The Beautiful City?" I don't know, they didn't ask me. But the city wanted to send the message that it is home to all kinds of beauty, both natural and man-made.

In the man-made column, is Terminal C at Orlando International Airport.

In fact, this modern miracle of transportation infrastructure is doing the unthinkable: making Orlando International Airport, or MCO, slightly less of a pain in the ass to get through than it was.

It still sucks, just not as much.

So, to give those of us who have no reason to travel a chance to see the new terminal. OutKick's own Mike "Gunz" Gunzelman. wrote about this in a recent article titled "Orlando Airport Will Now Allow People To Shop, Eat, Visit Without A Ticket."

Gunz's article began thusly…

*Clears Throat*:

"The Orlando airport is welcoming all psychopaths and weirdos by offering a new pass that allows anyone to visit Terminal C - even if you don't have a ticket."

Ouch.

As one of the psychopaths and weirdos who was looking forward to doing this, I'd like a moment to defend myself…

I live in Orlando, and just the other day, I was sitting on the couch — ignoring the beautiful Florida weather and watching TV — when apropos of nothing, I said to my girlfriend, "Hey, we need to go to the airport and do that thing where you go to the airport."

"You mean get on a flight?’" she responded in disgust.

"No, not that," I said. "I'm talking about going to the new terminal — Terminal C — but without a plane ticket."

"Why would anyone ever want to do that?" she asked.

I explained how we had been through Terminals A and B and needed to complete the hattrick.

But what was in it for us? Why would anyone subject themselves to one of the world's busiest airports? Why would anyone be willing to go through airport security if they're not traveling?

Because of the food and the shops.

There are a myriad of places to eat. Some are unique while others are tried and true airport favorites, like Chick-fil-A or Cinnabon. On the unique side, there's Sunshine Diner, a restaurant put together by Art Smith, a man who was once Oprah's personal chef.

If you've been to one of Art Smith's restaurants it will make perfect sense why Oprah had some "hefty years."

Of course, there are Cinnabons located outside of airports… without going through security.

Point taken, but some of the unique restaurants? If you want to try them, I think popping your shoes off and getting an awkward pat down because you forgot you had a gum wrapper in your pocket is a small price to pay.

This was a tough sell. My girlfriend looked at me like she was trying to solve some equation. An equation that explained how she wound up with a dude who wanted to go to the airport for no reason at all.

Inside of Orlando International Airport's Terminal C. Breathtaking, isn't it? (Roger Simmons/Orlando Sentinel/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)

"Alright, so if the world-class dining options at MCO's Terminal C won't convince you, maybe the world-class shopping will change your mind."

"Hudson News is not world-class shopping," she said.

That stung. She knew I was a big Hudson News guy. I don't feel like I'm truly flying somewhere until I peruse some magazines and overpay for a pack of gum.

However, I expected this response. I'm not completely self-aware. I knew this would be a tough sell. But I had an ace up my sleeve.

I got out my phone and started click-clacking away.

"You're not going to show me that video of the monkey water-skiing again, are you?" she asked.

"Not this time…" I said.

I tossed her my phone — which shows what a great guy I am, by the way; that I would willingly just hand my girlfriend my phone —  and had her take a look.

This is what she saw:

"How about that?" I said. "How many airports can you go to without a plane ticket and visit a Universal Studios store with a giant Harry Potter dragon?"

"I would bet you they have this in Tokyo," she said.

Damn, she was right.

To my dismay, the dragon didn't convince her that we needed to check out the airport. Neither was the prospect of becoming the proud owner of a Minions T-Shirt or a Back to the Future shot glass.

That's when I realized that, yeah; maybe this is a little ridiculous. But do you know what is ridiculous too? The fact is that in the annals of human history, mankind has only been capable of powered flight for less than 125 years. We've had airports for even less time.

Think how lucky we are to be able to go to the airport whenever we want. Had that been an option for previous generations, it would've completely changed history.

Lincoln wouldn't have been assassinated had he been able to go to the airport Chili's instead of Ford's Theater. There was no way John Wilkes Booth was getting through security. The man would've been on a watch list. 

Think how different the world could have been. There would be a different guy on the penny… possibly.

Sure, it's psycho behavior to go to the airport for no reason to eat at a restaurant you can eat at without going through security. It's weird to travel to the airport to look at souvenirs from a city you live in.

But if that makes me a psycho, throw me in a straight jacket; we're headed to Terminal C!