USA Today Writer Wants Biden To Cancel Thanksgiving This Year Because People Might Argue
I'm fired up for Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday, and I'm just so glad that I'm not so upset about the outcome of an election that I'm asking the President of the United States to cancel it.
USA Today columnist Rex Huppke — whose X bio describes him as a "humor(ish) columnist" — "humor" typically being code for "not particularly funny" — isn't quite as fortunate as the rest of us on this front, and he penned a column titled, "Joe Biden Must Cancel Thanksgiving. MAGA And Non-MAGA Cannot Break Bread."
I mean, normal people can go one day without talking politics, but let's hear him out…
"In the wake of the presidential election," Huppke begins. "The last thing any of us need to be doing is walking into potentially volatile mixed-ideology settings that often feature alcohol, long-standing feelings of familial resentment and easily thrown pies."
I can agree with that last part. My biggest fear about a Thanksgiving meal that goes sideways has been and will always be the threat of a Three Stooges short breaking out.
The first reason Huppke has for this is that, according to what he has seen on social media (his tweets are protected by the way, so I assume you can follow him on Bluesky) Trump fans are not happy about the election.
I don't think President Biden will cancel Thanksgiving anytime soon. Look how much he's enjoying it! He hasn't been that happy since Donald Trump paid him a visit after the election. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo by SAUL LOEB/AFP via Getty Images)
"The social media posts I see from them, along with the regular MAGA missives I receive, are just as ornery as ever," Huppke said.
Yes, because as we all know, social media is a mirror-like reflection of reality.
He went on to say that because Trump voters' "values" aren't in lock-step with his, he wants nothing to do with them.
Because, as everyone knows, that's exactly how a person with strong morals and values thinks.
"My ears are ringing from the loud and righteous calls that people like me need to ‘better understand Trump voters.’ But I can’t shake the fact that no Trump voter has ever been asked to understand me, or tried to for that matter."
Oh, we understand you more than you know, bud.
And he followed that one up with some doozies…
"Nobody’s telling them to spend time with a family who has a transgender child and understand the damage that comes from ignorant cruelty," Huppke wrote.
Ignorant cruelty like lopping their body parts off or cranking them full of hormones because they like to wear a dress?
"Nobody’s telling them to meet with migrants who’ve fled vicious gang violence and certain death and risked everything to get here," he continued.
And so for that reason, the United States should just forget about protecting the people who are already here instead of making sure we know who is coming into the country?
"Nobody’s imploring them to make even the slightest effort to understand why issues like diversity and inclusion are morally right and really matter to people."
There's nothing wrong with diversity and inclusion, it just shouldn't be at the top of the list when making a decision on anything over things like oh, I don't know, ability or competence.
In all honesty, I wish Rex a Happy Thanksgiving because it sounds like he sure as hell could use it.
That's what I don't get about all these people upset about the prospect of having to spend the day with people you don't agree with. Why are you making yourself so miserable? I promise you most people do not care and just want to cram stuffing in their faces while watching football.
I've got family and friends I don't agree with politically. Everyone does.
But get this: I still love them and am capable of being civil with them because I'm not a narcissist who thinks everyone needs to think like me and if they don't, they're an awful, terrible, evil person.
I know, it's a novel concept, but it isn't hard, folks.
Unlike Rex Huppke, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving no matter who you voted for.