Unfunny SNL Spoofs Tony Romo, Taylor Swift Heckled In A Tunnel & Antonio Brown Calls Out NFL 'Crackers'
Well, it's happened. Our worst nightmare has come true. Tony Romo vs. Travis Kelce vs. Taylor Swift for all the marbles. I can't believe we just did all that -- and I'm talking about five months of football -- just to get ... Chiefs-49ers. A rematch. An insufferable rematch.
This script STINKS. And honestly, it's got less to do with the teams and more to do with just the outside noise. I'm happy for loyal Nightcaps reader OK Ryan today. I am. Chiefs fans know how brutal this year has been with Kelce and I think even they feel a little dirty today.
And if I don't root for them, I have to root for a team from SAN FRANCISCO! My God. Move over, Sophie. This is brutal.
On that note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps -- the one where I try to wrap my head around the fact that we're still somehow in January and also brace for the first weekend without football since August.
Sad.
But that's for Friday's class to tackle. Today, we have plenty to talk about from over the weekend, including -- of course -- Tony Romo, Taylor Swift and ... Chuck Schumer!
That's right. I blasted Chuck and the libs, who are coming after our nicotine pouches, over the weekend and I'd like to hammer it home again today.
What else? We have a wild shotgun wedding, a crack-shot farmer saving his sheep AND Gia Duddy on the menu today. Oh yeah! Antonio Brown has been on FIRE lately over on Elon's new version of Twitter. Seriously, it's mesmerizing. You'll see.
OK, do a shot for the FIFTH Monday of January and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!
Saturday Night Live swings for Tony Romo and Trump, and goes 1(ish) for 2
Seriously -- five Mondays for the worst freaking month of the year. It's miserable. It just won't end ...
Kind of like the Tony Romo saga! I'll be honest with you, I didn't think Tony was that bad yesterday. Fair is fair, and while he certainly had his moments, I thought he was actually his old self at times.
Two things:
I really didn't think he was all the bad yesterday. See, I can be fair. I'm not just in it for the clicks, you know!
Anyway, before the game, Saturday Night Live -- yep, still a thing! -- took a couple swings at Romo and the CBS fellas, while also looking like a bunch of dummies while trying to call out Donald Trump.
A late night show taking aim at Trump? Shocking. We're nothing if not original in 2024.
What's your power rankings of most hateable things in the Super Bowl?
Whooooooof. Look, we all know SNL has been in a nosedive for years now. Like all the other late night crap, it started when Trump really revved up back in 2016. But that last one is just awful. How does that happen?!
And the sad thing is, those two on weekend update can actually be funny. Seriously. But that was awful. For starters, the joke itself wasn't even funny.
He might have to take de-ambulance to see de-doctor.
That's not funny. It's stupid. It's something your one unfunny friend who thinks he's funny says. We all have that one friend who's not funny in the slightest but keeps on chugging along trying to be funny, and that's exactly the type of stupid crap they'd say.
As for the Tony Romo/CBS stuff, it was OK. The Boeing stuff was good. The Kenan Thompson stuff was pretty good. The Blue Bloods bit was actually spot-on. But everything else was just generally awful. What the hell was the Andy Reid impression? That show used to be so good. Shame.
Anyway, I do agree with the overall point that football season really is pretty much over. Such a miserable part of the year. Just brutal.
And for the last game, we get the Kansas City Chiefs -- and all that comes with them. It's just agonizing. Like SNL, they used to be such a likeable team. Now it's just too much.
I think my list looks something like this:
Wake up, the libs are coming after our nicotine
I sort of agree with Taylor Swift there. Has she actually done anything herself that's annoyed you since she started showing up to Chiefs games?
Maybe I'm forgetting something, but as far as I can tell all she's done is show up and watch, maybe get a little tanked in the suite with everyone else. It's not her fault the broadcast keeps showing her and talking about her.
Hell, we don't stop writing about her because she does well with the Google Algo, so I get it.
Like I said, though -- we start getting political, which is a theory I've seen floating around, and it's gonna get ugly, fast.
Yep. We're in trouble. These next two weeks are going to be mayhem. This place will be burn if Taylor Swift takes that route before the Super Bowl. It would be anarchy.
Great for #content game, though!
Speaking of Kansas City fans, let's check the mail before we rapid-fire this puppy into a big week:
From OK Ryan:
Spot on take on Chuck Schumer and the rest of them trying to ban things that give normal people any enjoyment. All while they let people shoot up meth & fentanyl and crap in the street.
Unfortunately they probably won’t put this out as a straight up or down vote. They’ll bury it in some stupid “farm bill” that spends trillions of dollars we don’t have on things unrelated to farms, just like they did when they raised the tobacco age from 18 to 21.
But also congrats, your article was the first place I even heard about this. Just shows that the AI generated AP “articles” posted on the corporate media sites don’t cover anything that anyone cares about.
Saving the sheep, Shotgun weddings & Antonio Brown is ON one right now
Thanks, Ryan! And of course OutKick was the only one to write about it. I'm a man of the people and don't just talk the talk.
That above email was in regard to a column I wrote yesterday morning (while dipping in church) on the libs coming after our nicotine pouches. Read the full thing here, but -- like a movie trailer -- here's a clip:
We’ve got a border so open it’ll make your head spin, blueberries that cost $10 at Publix, an economy that STINKS — just because it’s ‘better’ than it was a year ago doesn’t make it great, Joe — and the Democrats are choosing to come after my nicotine pouch. I don’t think so. Not today.
We can’t let them get away with it. I’ve seen this movie before. They say they only care about one thing and then before you know it I lose my morning Rogue and coffee.
How the hell do you think I pump out this particular column every day? I have a toddler at home who doesn't love to sleep, does love to get up early, and is currently testing how to use the word "no" in as many ways possible. You wanna take my Rogues away, Chuck? Think again, dummy.
OK, pop one in if you'd like and buckle the hell up for a rapid-fire close to the day.
First up? This deserves an Emmy:
Let's go, baby! Protect this house. Save the sheep. Coyote down.
Just a masterclass from start to finish. Love this dude. Would get in a foxhole with him any day of the week. Guarantee you this cat was sucking on some nicotine during that bloodbath. Nerves of steel.
Next? How about this guy in Colombia who STAGED A GUNPOINT ROBBERY to pull off the wildest proposal I've ever seen:
Such a bold move by this guy. I would've fainted, personally. To each his own, though. And how about this ball of fire in the comments:
“How sad it is to have violence and insecurity so normalized."
Hey, Karen -- relax. Lighten up just a tad. Have a rogue!
Lord knows Antonio Brown needs one:
Take us home, Gia Duddy
Antonio Brown playing it fast and loose with the term cracker over the weekend, huh? Travis Kelce, Big Ben and Brock Purdy all made the cut. Good for them. And a big congrats to Titans OL Daniel Brunskill ...
Cracker of the Month is a huge honor!
PS: I 100% agree with AB on the steroid era tweet. That was absolutely the golden age of baseball. Such a random tweet/video to use, too. What a run of content!
On that note, let's check in with Will Levis' ex-girlfriend, Gia Duddy -- a Nightcaps OG who hasn't been to class in a while. That changes today.
Now let's go have a week.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Was Tony Romo any better Sunday or am I being too soft? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.