UCF Softball Mom Is An SI Swimsuit Star, Maggie Sajak Sizzles On The Stairs & ESPN Takes Shot At Colin Cowherd
And now, we go!
Another week in the books, and another big weekend of #content in front of us. It's so close. Hell, there it is, right there – on our front doorstep! I can see it. Smell it. Taste it. Let's crush it.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we welcome UCF softball player Jasmine Williams to class, along with a few other newbies in the Sports Illustrated world. Nice little heater right now from the robots over at SI HQ, let's keep it up.
What else? Speaking of heaters, Maggie Sajak continued her content bender last night, so we'll get her a Nightcaps seat for the second time this week.
We also had a sleeping beauty get resourceful on a Southwest flight, shots fired between Scott Van Pelt and Colin Cowherd, and Drake Maye pulling up to Patriots rookie camp with enough items in his pocket to revive a Third World country.
Seriously, this guy is a lunatic. Zero and I mean zero percent chance he works out. Can't trust this sort of behavior.
OK, that's enough to get everyone started. I reckon we'll figure some other stuff out along the way. Or not. My class, my rules.
Grab one of them fruity beach drinks because it's still 100 degrees here in Florida, and settle in for an all over the place Friday class!
What a day for tornadoes down here
We're gonna stick in the Sunshine State for a lot of today's class, mainly because there's a ton of action down here right now.
For starters … we had an insane tornado roll through Tallahassee early this morning. That doesn't happen often down here. And I've got news for you – we don't get out of bed for a hurricane, but tornadoes scare the piss out of us.
I lived through one about four years ago. True story. Scariest 13 seconds of my life (which is what the First Lady says about three times a week). I can handle a hurricane. Those ain't fun, but we're used to them at this point.
But a tornado? No sir. The worst.
For starters, you don't see them coming. Ever. The one that blew through my neighborhood a few years back started out as just a summer storm. All of a sudden, my ears started to pop out of nowhere. I looked outside, and it went from moderate rain and wind to basically a whiteout in like 10 seconds.
Once we realized what was going on, we ran to the bedroom closet. By the time we actually got there, it was over. Poof. Just like that.
I looked outside and had an entire tree just down in our front yard. The backyard was completely flooded. The damage this sucker did in 15 seconds was insane. Almost unbelievable. The neighbor across the street – and this is 100% true – was taking a shit when this thing blew through.
It literally split his house in half. The only place that was still upright? The bathroom. Tell me God ain't real after that.
Anyway, all that to say the folks in Tally got rocked today, and it's another reminder that tornado season sucks and I don't think I'd ever be able to live in the Midwest. God bless y'all who do.
UCF softball player Jasmine Williams is on her way
That, by the way, is 100% true. Waffle House is always, always, the last line of defense down here. We don't pay a lick of attention to the local weatherman during hurricane season. Not one.
All we have to do is drive around town – and every town in Florida has one – and check in on the Waffle House. If it's open, we're good. False alarm. Fake news!
But, if it's closed, it's time to batten down the hatches and hold on for dear life, because shit is about to get real.
PS: cheesy eggs and hashbrowns from the Waffle House? Elite.
Fine! Mount Rushmore of Breakfast Chains:
- Cracker Barrel (the OG Buc-ee's, by the way)
- IHOP (the stuffed french toast era was insane)
- Waffle House (see above)
- Bob Evans!
You just don't see a ton of Bob Evans anymore, do you? Well, scratch that. You see plenty of closed-down buildings in the shape of Bob Evans, but not a ton of active ones. Sad. Underrated – and massive – menu.
OK, enough food talk. Time to hit the beach with UCF softball star Jasmine Williams and the rest of the new Sports Illustrated athletes:
Maggie Sajak stays hot
What a twist! Didn't see that coming, did you?
Our girl isn't just cranking homers for UCF (OK, just one this year, but whatever), but she's also a … mom! Happy Mother's Day to Jasmine, and welcome to class!
Speaking of Mother's Day … I'd suggest any dads out there reading this right now – and that's pretty much all of you, because I see the analytics – go check out Amber's handy-dandy Mother's Day Gift Guide. Seriously, I read it because I have nothing for my wife right now, and it immediately put me at ease.
Bottom line, and I think I have this right: Get her flowers in the morning, and then take the kid(s) for the rest of the day and only show up around meal times with food already in hand.
And honestly, if you have the right type of kid, you could also get away with possibly just leaving the house for the day with the kid and playing golf. Sounds crazy, I know, but again, you have to have a chill kid. That's key.
If your kid is like mine and will just ride in the cart with you and help you chase lost balls all day, you may be able to really turn this weekend on its head. Just a thought. Crazier things have happened …
… like Wheel of Fortune Maggie Sajak becoming an absolute STAR over the past year:
Cowherd vs. ESPN, comfy passenger and Drake Maye is a lunatic
Welcome back, Maggie Sajak. We started the week with her, and I'll be damned if we don't end it with her, too. What a run.
OK, rapid-fire time as we head to a big weekend of drinking, losing money, and sweating our balls off.
First up? Colin Cowherd broke out his patented "backwards hat" take earlier this week when talking about JJ Reddick, and Reddick's ESPN teammate, Scott Van Pelt, shot back last night:
SVP vs. Colin … who ya got?!
I mean, it's obviously a win for Cowherd, right? The guy makes a billion dollars, moves the needle with asinine takes, and has other network-heads talking. This is all he wants, by the way. You guys talking about it is exactly what he wants. He won. He did it again!
PS: just to see how loony Colin is, he legit thinks the NBA is thriving right now:
NASCAR, by the way, just inked a 7-year, $7 billion TV rights deal with FOX, NBC, Amazon and TNT. You reckon Colin thinks NASCAR is "rolling in money" too? Come on.
Next!
What a power move! Love this chick.
Honestly, I'm a little surprised she didn't get away with it. It's the Wild Wild West in the skies right now – as all Nightcaps readers know – and someone catching some Zs in the overhead bins isn't even close to the nuttiest things we see up there.
Exhibit A:
If you're not part of that fight, please exit the airplane is the most Spirit Airlines thing I've ever heard.
And PS: for the love of God, someone get the damn pillow. Stat!
Finally …
Gia Duddy takes us into the weekend
The craziest part is … Drake is WEARING A BACKPACK. What the hell? What's going on here? My pockets haven't looked like that since the 6th grade bus stop when I nestled my CD player into my front cargo shorts pocket.
What a time. God, I miss those days. It's been all downhill since the stupid iPod shuffle.
OK, that's all for today. Class dismissed. Take us into a big Friday night, Gia!
Let's go have a weekend.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Ever been in a tornado? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.