Tyson Bagent And GF Maggie Litzinger Take Over 'Da Bears, AI NFL Stadiums Are Here & D-1 Baseball Rejection Letter Goes Viral
It's the (un)official start of a new weekend! How would ya'll rather celebrate? With birthday girl Hillary Clinton or by welcoming Chicago Bears QB Tyson Bagent and girlfriend Maggie Litzinger to class?
I know I know, tough call. I'll let that one marinate for a bit and then you guys can let me know.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps! Otherwise known as the official start of the weekend around here during football season.
I've got a full plate for everyone today, which works out well because it's National Mincemeat Pie Day. Aaaaaaaaaaand that's the last time we'll talk about that.
I discovered Maggie Litzinger in my power rankings column this week -- shameless plug found HERE -- and I think she deserves some shine after Tyson Bagent stuffed the Raiders in a locker last Sunday.
We'll also congratulate Hillary Clinton on turning 76 by revisiting her greatest tweet from this day seven years ago, take a peak at some AI NFL stadiums and check in with Tua to get his thoughts on Hard Knocks coming to Miami.
He sounds THRILLED.
I'm sure we'll find some other crap to throw at the wall, but that should be good for now. Grab the nearest drink -- even if it's the leftover one from last night -- and settle in. It's a Thursday 'Cap!
Let's all welcome Chicago Bears QB Tyson Bagent and girlfriend Maggie Litzinger to class!
Did I think I'd be starting today's lesson -- or any, for that matter -- with someone named Tyson Bagent? Nope. Didn't even know who he was until about a week ago.
But Nightcaps zigs when other loser columns zag, so here we are.
I'll be honest, whenever there's a new NFL name thrown out there because of injury, the first thing I do is check in on their personal lives.
Dan Orlovsky and Brian Balldinger will give you the Xs and Os on the field. I'm here to provide the XXXs and OOOs (shoutout Trisha Yearwood) off the field.
So, naturally, when someone named Tyson Bagent was all of a sudden in line to lead the Chicago Bears into battle, I went to work.
Sometimes, I'm left pretty disappointed with the results ...
This was not one of those times.
AI NFL Stadiums are a mixed bag
What a trade deadline addition for the Chicago Damn Bears! Justin Fields is about to be wally-pipped so fast your head will spin.
Welcome to the show, Tyson Bagent and Maggie Litzinger. Can't wait to see the encore Sunday night in Los Angeles.
Speaking of that ...
Whoaaaa Nellie! Some great ones, a bunch of good ones, and some hilariously awful ones.
The great: Titans, Bucs, 49ers and Rams.
The good: Eagles, Seahawks, Dolphins, Jets and Steelers.
The hilariously bad: Browns, Packers, Panthers and Commanders.
Those last four are pretty much just ... the same stadiums they have now, if not worse.
Washington's looks like a created college football stadium you made in NCAA 14.
The Browns' looks the exact same as their current one. Shoutout to Anthony Farris!
Poor green Bay. Even AI couldn't make that place appealing.
Hard Knocks is coming to Miami and Tua is thrilled
Now, let's leave the cow pastures and head down to Miami, where we'll apparently need a boat to get to the games, according to AI.
Earlier this week, Hard Knocks announced that the Dolphins would be the in-season team featured this year. The whole "in-season" thing started a few years ago with the Colts and I think the Cardinals did it last year.
Now, I'd love to give you a review of the pros and cons of this one versus the regular one, but I've never watched an in-season Hard Knocks. I'm sure I'm not alone. That being said, if there was ever a team to save this failing show, it's probably Miami.
Tyreek Hill and Mike McDaniel will be reservation-viewing alone, while Tua Tagovailoa is for some reason the most polarizing player since Tim Tebow.
Tua, you excited for a little more screen time?
Crooked Hillary, D-1 rejection letters & bike rides
That was a 10-second pause! I thought we had a Mitch McConnell moment on our hands for a second there.
Sounds like we should get some great stuff this year! Hell, it can't be any worse than the four hours of Aaron Rodgers practice footage we got from last summer's show.
OK, rapid-fire time so we can all go get our bets in for Bucs-Bills. Feels like a bounce-back game for Josh Allen and the Bills at -9, by the way. A little steep for me but I think I'll put it in.
My heater is still HOT right now, BTW. I hit a three-team parlay this week on midweek college football action that I blindly put in Monday night with the help of some alcohol. Frankly, those are some of my best bets. What a run.
First up? Birthday girl Hillary Clinton! She turned 76 today, which reminded me of one of her all-time tweets just seven short years ago:
Shame that didn't pan out. So close! Chin up, Hillary!
Next, let's check in on a supposed rejection letter sent to a wannabe D-1 college baseball player that's making the rounds on the internet this week.
I say supposed because it HAS to be fake ... right?
Hilarious. I don't know a thing about this guy -- if it's fake or schtick or a bit or what -- but I don't care. "Your fastball was around 68-70 mph" was such a twist early on. Legend.
This guy would've been a STAR on my terrible D-3 team, though. Probably a Day 1 starter.
Finally, anyone feel like going for a death ride on I-95 right outside Daytona? Yeah?
Climb aboard!
Take us home, Gracie Hunt
WOWWWWWWW! What a hit! And it's not just the hit, either. It's the fact that our man got run over by a semi after the initial blow.
I despise bikers who do this around here, and it happens all the time. I live right outside Daytona and it's just constant. The most obnoxious thing on the planet.
I'm glad the dude's OK -- which is shocking given the fact that he literally moved a pickup truck out of the way -- but other than that, you'll get no sympathy from me.
Maybe from Gracie, but not me.
Let's have a night.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Have Tyson Bagent and Maggie Litzinger taken over the Chicago Bears? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.