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Great job, Justin!

The sun is out again. The air blowing in off Lake Erie via a northeast wind is brisk this morning. The birds are chirping away and I damn near cried when I laid eyes on Justin receiving his diploma during the Seton Hall graduation.

The second you put a dog on a stage picking up his diploma is the very second I start to choke up. Look at Justin's tail when he gets his reward.

That should be enough to get your day started with a smile.

Mrs. Jelly Roll from PA's husband responds to his wife writing a note to Screencaps

• Jelly Roll from PA's husband writes:

What a week..I’m still in amazement as to how she crafted that email and sent it your way without me having the slightest clue!  I may be even more amazed that it was batting lead off for The Best Column in America, as voted by the readers!  Talk about an absolute gem of an anniversary gift and gem of a woman.

There I was lounging by a pool in the beautiful Florida sunshine when I cracked open the latest edition of Screencaps, and I started thinking to myself, “this guy from PA seems a lot like me”!  As the details started to add up, I finally realized something was up and that’s when I saw my wife of nearly a year walking my way.  I yelled across the pool, “Did you write to Joe?”

You should’ve seen her smile; she’s a keeper! 

Her recall on what we’ve discussed from ‘Caps was amazing and there are plenty more contributors that we’ve discussed over the past few years that deserve a hat tip, as well. This community you’ve created is must-read content and I thank you for that. I’m not active on social media, so I appreciate you cultivating the best and funniest emails and posts for us each day. I’ve learned a lot - especially about things that weren’t on my radar before - from reading reviews and reports from ‘Caps readers nationwide.

It also makes me think and challenge myself each and every day. I even have a plan for retirement - in about 35 years - thanks to reading about Galen in TN starting his own lawn care business to stay active once entering retirement. 

I will also add that I finished in enough time to clean myself up for our rehearsal dinner last year while still dressing the yard in diagonal stripes for the holiday weekend, so both sides were pleased. “We mow on Thursdays” is a way of life. I picked up the love of lawn from my dad and it’s an honor to carry on the tradition while also having seemingly endless resources writing in from across this great country who are willing to share bits of information for us to add to our “lawn tool belts”. Also, don’t let her fool you…Lately, I’ve noticed more of her calling out crisply cut and edged lawns, fresh mulch and even nicely spaced landscape rocks and plants - she has officially “clocked in” to TNML and then some, too!

Anyway, I could write a 10,000-word essay here, but I know there’s only so much room in the column so I’ll close with a hearty thank you! The Mrs. and I wish your family health and wellness, and we hope Screencappers across this beautiful country have an enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend!

I don’t recall who sent it, but as the Dadvice goes, “There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. Stairs aren’t one of them”.  My addition: Just don’t jump in too close to the grill!

P.S. - If I’m ever in Texas again, the first round of Yuengling is on me, Tim in Texas City.

Kinsey:

Like Justin receiving his diploma, this back-and-forth between Mr. & Mrs. Jelly Roll from PA just about brings a tear to my eye. I stop and think about how few outlets there are for guys -- and now the wives -- to just connect with society in a fun, entertaining and educational way on a daily basis.

Newspaper elitists gave up on you guys because they're out of business. Magazines never cared about you. TV stations think your brain only cares about the weather. Websites are typically operated by people on the coasts who don't know how to connect with normal people outside of their corporate offices. You were ignored for so long.

Go ahead and put all of it on my headstone. This project is undoubtedly the biggest accomplishment of my career...outside of confronting Ray Lewis, sarcastically to his face, about how much time he'd chew up with his Pro Football Hall of Fame speech and living to tell the story. Talk about a rush of emotions!

Good luck to Mr. & Mrs. Jelly Roll from PA. One anniversary down, many more to go. May those post-TNML mow patio sessions be bright and cheery. Don't forget to stop and listen to the birds and enjoy the golden hour as it shines off those fresh stripes.

Making money off Screencaps*

Were you paying attention to the "Numbers from" section on Wednesday? At least two of you were.

• Mike N. writes:

Your first post this morning regarding 3-month T-bills hitting 5% was an excellent reminder.  I have some cash wasting away in a Vanguard money market earning 1%.  This is the highest risk-free rate since the late 90's.

Greatly appreciate the tip!

• John L. writes:

Joe, I have no affiliation with these firms whatsoever.  But Screencaps nation should take advantage of the offerings from banks like Capital One:  In the comfort of your home you can open a money market account, link it to your existing bank, and enjoy a current 3.75% interest rate paid out monthly.  Plus it's possible to reach someone there over the phone--which has not been my experience with the online only entities such as Marcus/Goldman Sachs.  The Capital One app works great, too.

For our big spenders, Morgan Stanley has a US government (basically risk free) money market fund currently paying 4.99%!

Kinsey:

*Disclaimer: I just want lawyers reading this to know that Screencaps, Joe Kinsey, my bosses, Fox News Corp., etc. are not telling you what to do with a single penny of your money. You can do what you want with the "Numbers from" information such as T-bills hitting 5%.

I don't even make many of you guys pay upfront for the Put In Bay Two-Club Invitational, that's how hands-off I am with your cash. I had a guy write to me on IG DMs Wednesday asking about the PIB and how he wanted to sign up to bring a two-some. My directive was to look me up in July when he's had time to back out of the tournament.

If, at that time, he's still pumped up about the PIB, I said he could throw me a few bones to help purchase supplies.

He seemed to really enjoy that plan. We both left the conversation in good spirits.

BUY! BUY! BUY!

Speaking of money, I got a message this morning from OutKick T-shirt Marketing Manager Olivia that the OutKick Memorial Day Weekend gear sale starts TODAY.

Olivia G. writes:

Memorial Day sale starts today! Get 20% off when you use code MEMORIAL20 at checkout.

Kinsey:

Ohio is pretty much Florida

My dad has a lake trailer fairly close to the area where these alligators were spotted and I'm not the least bit surprised by anything in those waters. Let me tell you about some of the lounge lizards I've seen hanging out at Grand Lake St. Marys at 1 a.m. Whoa boy.

• Heywood J. writes:

Get ahold of Beau!! Next episode of Great Black Swamp People!!

The more we let it happen, it will

• Bill H. writes on the Dodgers "Pride Night" nonsense:

When I was a kid in the 60's-70's, I bought the albums mostly because melodies got me hooked. I bought the albums then listened to the lyrics protesting society, religion, morals, politics that were/are normal and mainstream. In other words, I was making the artists rich who I later discovered hated my conventional life. The same went for Hollywood, and now pro sports and corporations who have either have been infected with the outlandish all along or are held hostage by those few. I, personally, have since boycotted movies, music, sports and woke businesses.  I am just one person. This makes me sound like I am never entertained. Wrong! I am just not a slave to the thought police.

Everyone has their own personal threshold of tolerances. Most are very shallow and are prostitutes to whatever the entertainment product dishes out. It is still early, but we kind of know the results of the InBev shunning, Disney, now Target, which, really, should have been done years ago. We have many beers, entertainment, and retail outlets to choose from that are not so openly cowed or compliant. 

I get emails from many companies that I have formerly done business with. When they send promos for P month, I unsubscribe. If an explanation is asked why they are dumped, I tell them why. If they are not made aware of offending most, they are only emboldened to further the "cause" of deviancy.

Your SOPE/Dodgers outrage highlights just the tip of the iceberg. What's it going to take for MLB players to have a sick-out in protest of the promotion of sexual deviancy not only directed at Christians, but mainly innocent children? What a joy it would be to read that Dodgers had developed an abnormal IL roster and the stadium had more vendors than attendees to their games during P month. You and I know that won't happen.

People just are not willing to speak truth to power. They are just not disciplined enough to not watch, not attend or support socially divergent events. Our "conservative" political class are useless paper tigers who are left of JFK. Religion used to teach that discipline, but that is not supported as much anymore ...because of socially driven attitudes.

If people are not willing to confront the onslaught, then it is over, and compliance will be mandatory. It looks Like Back To The Future II with Biff at the helm becoming reality.

Thanks for your output. I haven't read it as "faux-rage" against the machine.

Movie 'creators'

• Heywood J. spotted something that caught his eye from HBO Max. He's calling this "the new frontier of ridiculousness."

To add to the tweet below, De Niro gets 4th billing and Scorsese gets 2nd billing in the credits. Huh?

DiCaprio gets 2nd billing and Spielberg gets 3rd billing

Jodie Foster gets 4th billing and Demme gets 3rd billing

The current state of flying Comfort+

• Eggin Dawg writes:

Late to the party on Big Curvy Olivia fallout but thought I’d share my recent Big Curvy experience. I paid $200 extra to ride Comfort+ on a recent 4-hour Delta ATL to AZ vacation golf trip flight.

Just as the boarding door is about to close this HUGE lady walks down the aisle and is eyeing the empty seat next to me. After displacing/ crawling over the tiny lady in seat c (aisle) it took 2 lap belt extensions for this POS to squeeze in. Needless the say I spent the next 4+ hours pinned against the fuselage, listening to her snore so loud that I could still hear her while wearing BOSE noise-cancelling earphones I was wearing.

It was beyond brutal.

I wrote a calmly written letter to Delta after the flight, asking for some sort of compensation since I paid more, for essentially more room and a better experience than riding steerage. Delta gave me a whopping 2000 SkyMiles for my inconvenience….the equivalent of $20. I’ve gone back and forth with them, Delta won’t budge. Everyone around this rhino had a miserable experience- it’s readily apparent that her rights were more important than anyone else’s.

Bottom line, it sucks to be the on the wrong side of the woke generation in this era of DEI.

Cheers!

Baseball brawls

• Mike V. writes:

I think the answer to Ryan Z's question about baseball players being allowed to leave the bench during a brawl is simply a numbers issue. In basketball, hockey, and football there are typically about the same amount of players on each team on the field/court that can engage in the fight should they choose to. In baseball, if a hitter charges the mound it's potentially him vs. the other 9 players on the field. Allowing both benches to clear puts no team at a numbers disadvantage.

I do believe that tradition plays a role in it as well and to be honest, I like the idea of the players policing themselves in these situations and hope the rules don't change. 

• MP from Staunton, Va. writes:

Joe, when you wondered if there is tradition involved regarding bench clearing baseball fights, I found this from the book Ball Four by the late Jim Bouton.

Note: this is from 1969.

“The rule is that you’re not allowed to just sit there when your teammates are in a fight, so everybody came off the bench and out of the bullpen…I was very careful to keep a big smile on my face when I reached the scene of the action. I didn’t want anybody to think I was angry or serious. By and large nobody is serious about these baseball fights except the two guys who start them. Everyone else tries to pull them apart and before long you’ve got twenty or thirty guys mostly just pulling and shoving each other. The two guys who started it have so many guys piled on top of them they couldn’t reach for a subway token, much less fight. At the bottom of the pile (Bobby) Murcer and (Ray) Oyler found themselves pinned motionless, nose to nose. “Ray, I’m sorry,” Murcer said. “I lost my head.” “That’s okay,” Oyler said. “Now how about getting off me, you’re crushing my leg.” “I would,” Murcer said, but I can’t move.”….here came Fritz(Peterson) running toward me. He was laughing his head off and we grabbed each other and started waltzing like a couple of bears. He tried to throw me off balance and I tried to wrestle him down and all the time we were kidding each other. “How’s your wife?” I said. “Give me a fake punch to the ribs.” “She’s fine,” he said. “You can punch me in the stomach. Not too hard.”

Hope you got a laugh from this and thanks for everything you do.

• Rick G. writes:

In response to the question posed in today’s edition of the greatest morning must read column;

Just curious why you think it is that Major League Baseball basically allows players to leave the benches during an on-the-field brawl between teams, yet no other major sport does? 

If MLB did not allow teammates to pour on the field it would be a nine on one situation. Although they are world class athletes, they leave a lot to be desired in the fight game. The famous line of ‘No one talks about fight club’ should be applied to baseball brawls-no one should take fighting tips from these guys throwing haymakers that if they land it is usually on a teammate.

I cite the Bryce Harper brawl when the Giants pitcher drilled him with a 98 mph heater in the hip and was still able to toss his helmet (missing his mark terribly) and then being able to land a nice right hand cross before flailing away and being taken out by a weak-side blitz by the bullpen posing as linebackers. Props to Harper being able to sprint out, throw his helmet (again terribly)  and then take on the Giants pitcher after that damage to his hip. If that was me I would still probably be on the turf wondering if my hip was still attached to the rest of my body.

Kinsey:

It would be awesome if each team designated eight goons who were allowed to come off the bench each game in case of a fight. Now that would be intriguing to get that intel like an hour before the game.

Stroopwafel

• Ryan S. writes:

Good morning.  I have now just gotten around to reading yesterday's Screencaps and saw the bit about stroopwafel.  My kids have been addicted to these things for years (German wife, German/American kids, staioned in Germany for several years). 

I have only been able to find these things in two grocery stores here in Charlottesville, Virginia.  My go to place is named Lidl, German grocery store that opened on the east coast a couple of years ogo.  Lidl stocks stroopwafel every day and are always in stock.  The other place is Aldi, but they seem to be seasonal. 

You may have luck at Trader Joes since they are owned by Aldi North.  If you can't find them anywhere, shoot me your address and I will send you some.

And that's it this morning. Our oldest son just went to his elementary school for the last time and our youngest is finishing up kindergarten. This also means we're officially done paying for all-day kindergarten, which is not "free" in this community. What a ride it has been to get to this point.

Yes, the school system needs to build more schools which means our taxes will go up for like the next ten years, but at least we're done with the daycare/kindergarten taxes.

Go have a great day. Do your best to have that Seton Hall Justin service dog energy. You made it to the final day before your Memorial Day weekend RV trip.

Take care.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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