Tush Push Talk With Lou Holtz And Bobby Carpenter, Lubing Up Philadelphia, Revisiting Vida Guerra, Recommending ‘Old Dads’ & More
If there's one thing Hump Day's taught me, it's that butts and the tush push are on the forefront of everyone's mind. Am I right? Well, they're at least on my mind as we enter mid-week. So we're going to stick with rumps as today's theme and I won't hear any ifs, ands or butts about it.
That means we're diving into the NFL's most talked about play, the "tush push." And we'll also check in with former "Best Butt Award" winner, Vida Guerra. That award came courtesy of FHM. Remember FHM? If you were between the ages of 15-25 and didn't have the latest issue sitting on you or your parents' basement coffee table, you were definitely a booger eater.
Oh, we'll also get prematurely lubed up in Philadelphia and remind you that the Marlins were Creed fans long before the Rangers.
Prior to that, we'll get into the trenches with former NFL first round draft pick Bobby Carpenter and college football Hall of Fame coach, Lou Holtz. Buckle that chinstrap!
And don't think we won't put some momentum behind Bill Burr's starring role on Netflix's "Old Dads" and call out a Nightcap theft. Clearly, we've got a busy evening ahead of us.
Now let's talk butts!
Tush Push Divides A Nation
The Eagles have been super successful pushing -by way of his tush- QB Jalen Hurts just far enough to surpass the line to gain for a first down. So successful in fact, that some teams, players, coaches and fans suggest the play should be banned because it's too easy for Philly to covert.
Others think the mere thought of banning the play is laughable.
Regardless, it's most certainly the most discussed play in the entire league.
For the record, I am not one of those fans who is against the play. How about figuring out a way to stop the play? No reason to punish the Eagles for doing something well. Did the NFL ban the wildcat or the hurry-up offense? Nope. Teams just figured out ways to stop them.
So get Wade Phillips and Bill Parcells on a zoom call and figure it out!
49ers LB Fred Warner apparently already did during Monday Night Football. Kirk Cousins is no Jalen Hurts, but still...
You know who hates the tush push? Everyone that plays the Eagles. Too bad. Tell your defense to get better. Did the NFL ban Tom Brady for being too good? *To be fair, it tried (deflategate).
You know who doesn't hate the tush push? Bobby Carpenter, the former Ohio State linebacker and NFL first-round pick.
I asked Carpenter, aka, "The General" if he's pro-tush push and he responded:
"I don’t mind the tush push and the way Philly runs it. Other teams try and they can execute it the same way. The difference is Jalen Hurts is a beast and is a monster squatter in the weight room."
Bobby Carpenter sees no problem with the "tush push." (Photo by David Maxwell/Getty Images).
On the opposite end of the debate is former Notre Dame head coach Lou Holtz. Apparently Ohio State isn't the only thing coach Holtz finds soft. See, he's no fan of the tush push. He told me as much on Tuesday afternoon:
"I think it is terrible. No offensive player should be allowed to push or pull a ball carrier. They are allowed to block a defensive man but no, they would rather push or pull a ball carrier. Ridiculous."
Lou Holtz is anti-tush push. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Allsport/Getty Images).
Bobby Carpenter and Coach Holtz have weighed in and so have I (one of those three is not like the others...). Now it's your turn. Chime in under the tweet of this post or email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com. Let me know why you are for or against the tush push. I'll publish some of your responses next Wednesday.
Let's Get You Lubed Up, Philly
Relax, we'll get to Vida momentarily, I promise. In the meantime, let's check in on how the City of Brotherly Love prepared itself to be grabbed, rode and climbed on last night only to be left disappointed. You know by now that the Phillies fell to the DBacks last night in Game 7, missing an opportunity to advance to the World Series. Though the ballplayers failed to uphold their end of the bargain, the city - with some help - was not going to be left high and dry in the event of a win.
As we know when one's team advances to the Fall Classic, one tends to celebrate. Some - depending on their BAC- celebrate by climbing, swinging from and/or riding poles throughout the city.
In anticipation of such, adult entertainment company CamSoda took it upon themselves to make sure things would go smoothly. Per a company release, CamSoda: sent a truck filled with (28) 55-gallon drums containing lube (that’s 1,540 gallons to be exact; enough to fill three hot tubs) to protect Phillies fans from themselves when they - potentially - take to the streets to celebrate the Phillies victory tonight. Each drum will be filled with 75% lube and 25% wiz.
Wasn't that nice of them?
CamSoda's vice president, Daryn Parker, included his own statement in the release, stating: “We know a thing or two about poles here at CamSoda. Philly fanatics love to climb them, but that can be dangerous. To prevent people from scaling them if the Phillies were to win the pennant, we sent a truck filled with (28) 55-gallon drums filled with lube to Philadelphia. Rest assured, the poles will be lubricated before the postgame celebratory shenanigans begin.”
Marketing 101, kids.
Unfortunately for the Phils and their fans, they couldn't find their sticks Tuesday night, so the lube was all for naught. But here's hoping Arizona got all greased up!
55 gallon drum sent to Philadelphia by CamSoda. Photo c/o CamSoda.
It's Vida Guerra Time!
Now that we're all lubed up, let's see what Vida Guerra's been up to. If you don't remember her, first off, shame on you. Secondly, maybe you're not old enough to be reading Nightcaps. Then again, you can show me any half-assed fake ID and we'll let you in. Open door policy around these parts.
Anyways, Vida became famous for her spreads (keep it PG!) in FHM and Playboy and has had small roles in a handful of movies and tv shows. She also dated Derek Jeter.
That said, she's best known for her buns that would leave King's Hawaiian jealous.
As referenced above, Vida Guerra was given the "Best Butt Award" by FHM. For good reason.
FHM may not have stood the test of time, but Vida sure has. No one outside of a Kardashian has gained this much attention for so long because of their backside.
So what's she doing now? Well, according to her Instagram (where I spent way too much time), she's a fitness and bodybuilding professional and a Reiki healer. If you don't know what that is - it's someone who practices energy healing techniques. I'm still trying to book an appointment, so get in line.
Vida Guerra claimed FHM's "Best Butt Award" in the early 2000s. (Photo by Jean-Paul Aussenard/WireImage).
Oh, she has an OnlyFans too. Which leads me to wonder what there are now more of: OnlyFans content creators or podcasts? Gotta be neck and neck at this point.
Shannon Sharpe And Chad Johnson Are Thieves!
From Vida's ass we go to a pair of buttheads - Shannon Sharpe and Chad Johnson. If you haven't heard, the pair of former NFL players recently launched a new show that premiers on YouTube and is later distributed in podcast form. The show's name...Nightcap with Unc & Ocho!
They stole it from the fine folks here at OutKick HQ! I won't hear otherwise.
Sure they dropped the "s" and added Unc and Ocho, but you know damn well those two talking heads were plowing through daily editions (Monday - Friday at roughly 4pm est) of this very column when they "created" the name of their show.
OutKick's Nightcaps was birthed in February, Unc and Ocho's didn't hit the net until September...Just let us know when we should check the mailbox for those royalty checks, fellas!
And despite a preference to not publicly promote a pair of thieves, I have to give Sharpe props for a story he recently shared with Johnson about a pricey date.
As Sharpe tells it, he wasn't making much as a rookie in Denver since he was a late round pick. He took a date out to dinner and was surprised when she asked the former tight end: "What goes with lobster?"
His response: "I said condoms because if you order that, we’re gonna have sex tonight.”
Sound like she was trying to steal an expensive dinner from Shannon!
Miami Was Team Creed Before The Rangers
Speaking of stealing, the Texas Rangers seem to have done the same with their link to Creed. Same for the Minnesota Vikings. All postseason long we've seen the Rangers faithful belting out "Higher" between innings. We've also had Vikes QB Kirk Cousins crediting Creed's role in Minnesota wins twice this month.
But before assisting the Rangers and Vikings, Creed was attempting to lift the Marlins. In 2010, Creed frontman Scott Stapp recorded "Marlins Will Soar" as the the official song of the then-Florida Marlins.
And it's a minute and a half long absolute banger, complete with an official video.
Screw "Take Me Out To The Ballgame." Look and listen to these lyrics:
Let's play ball, it's game day
We watch strikeouts, base hits, double plays
Take the field, hear the roar of the crowd
Come on Marlins, make us proud
Come on Marlins, make us proud
Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and luck, you will soar
One strike, two strikes, swing away
A diving catch, a stolen base
A perfect game, a triple play
A play of praise
We're series champs, we
Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and luck, you will soar
Keep hoping and dreaming and you will soar
With a little faith and luck, you will soar
After the song's release, Stapp told Spin magazine: "The way that I look at it is simple: I have three children. When I was approached to do that song, it was with the caveat of lifetime free baseball tickets the boys could be batboys. As a father, I said, 'I'm all in, man."
Despite Stapp's best efforts, the Marlins 2010 season wasn't exactly a hit. The team finished 80-82 and missed the postseason.
Before saving the Rangers and Vikings, Scott Stapp of Creed tried helping the Marlins. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage).
Watch Old Dads On Netflix
I can't take you any higher than Creed, but I can tell you to get your butt (see, I told you we'd keep the derriere theme going) on the couch and fire up Netflix to watch "Old Dads." The movie hit the streaming giant last weekend and it's damn good. I give it two butt cheeks up.
On Saturday night I came out of my college football coma just long enough to enjoy Old Dads. The movie stars comedian Bill Burr and does not disappoint. Right from the jump Burr and his castmates make fun of the quick-to-be-offended society we live in today. It's 104 minutes of mocking liberals, people that vape and the dbags that consider themselves to be whatever-shamed. You know, real comedy.
I can't recommend it highly enough.
The trailer perfectly illustrates the main theme of the movie:
If that's not enticing enough to make you watch, how about this clip where Burr takes aim at paper straw users?
More reasons to watch? The Guardian called it "angry, unfunny," and a CNN writer wrote about how upset she was that the movie didn't center around three moms (instead of three dads). Seriously, the author's whole review was about giving recognizing older moms and all their struggles.
More Butts Please
Admittedly, this next set of words has little to do with anything other than me wanting to invoke a little '90s nostalgia into the column while sticking with our butt theme. And, since this is my space, I have the liberty to write about just about anything I want. Hell, if Deshaun Watson didn't suck or wasn't a pervert, I'd probably drop 200 words on the Browns right here.
Instead, you get Marion Butts.
What's Going On With Carlos Boozer's Beard?
You might not have realized it, but the NBA season started last night. Since the hoops season officially tipped off, that gave former All-Star Carlos Boozer an opportunity to drop some NBA betting picks to social media. Boozer gave out picks for both of Tuesday night's games, but more importantly, gave the world a glimpse of one of the strangest looking beards you'll see.
So many questions. Is it real? Is it painted on? Is it a camera filter? Does he not have a mirror?
This is fitting considering that Boozer is the same player who towards the end of his career showed up to a game looking like he put shoe polish on his head and thought no one would notice.
After he retired, Boozer addressed hairgate by admitting he used a hair-dye that was supposed to cover up balding and, ideally, promote new hair growth. Instead, he would up looking like an avatar from your kids' video game.
Can't wait to hear what Boozer fesses up to as it relates to beardgate.
That Was Fun, Right?
We've covered beards and butts so it's about that time to get to the most important B of them all, beers! So help this pretty lady out and grab a brew and enjoy the best of the rest!
*Nightcaps publishes at roughly 4pm Monday through Friday.
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