Trump's New Red-Head Press Sec Is A Firecracker, Nancy Mace At The Ball & The CFB Title Game Needs Fixed

Well, it happened. I caved this morning and called a locksmith to make me a new truck key. Talk about a debilitating way to start the day. Just gut-wrenching stuff. 

My working theory is that I left my key in the truck last weekend, and it was stolen … AGAIN. No other break-ins in the neighborhood. Nothing else gone. The scumbags just bid their time, watched me like a hawk, and waited for months for me to screw up. 

And then they POUNCED the first night I did, and re-stole my new key. Why take the key and not the truck? No clue. Again, it's a working theory, and it's the best I got right now. Oh well. 

We move forward and get back on the horse. It's called America, Libs. When we fall down, we get our asses back up and crack skulls. Onwards. 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we assemble the dream team with Nancy Mace and invade the Starlight Ball. 

What else? I've got insufferable Jim Acosta saying the dumbest thing you've ever heard on CNN – what an honor! – Trump bringing another BOMBSHELL into his cabinet (when will the winning END?), and I need all of our class to weigh in on this college football ratings debate. 

Why was the title game so low? Now, it wasn't low for normal TV standards, but it was compared to last year, and it's causing a stir over on Elon's app. Time for our class to jump into the fray with clear eyes and full hearts (can't lose!). 

Grab you something stiff and alcoholic (hey now!), and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

Come on down, Jimbo!

Hate to start class by mocking maybe the most insufferable person in media – we don't have time for that Mount Rushmore today – but someone has to do it. 

Just kidding! Hey, Jim – piss right the hell off. Keep our name out of your nasty Lib mouth!

I wrote about it this morning, but for those who weren't up scrolling OutKick at 6:45, here's insufferable Jim on his nasty little show last night:

My God. It's amazing. It's perfect. It's almost unbelievable because it's so dumb, but it's obviously real because you just watched it unfold. 

What balls on Jim. To sit there – on CNN (!!!!!!) – and wax poetic about how they're the news and Fox is all lies, truly takes a huge set of nuts. Nuts, frankly, I didn't think Jim had. Lord knows he would never put it in bio. Him/her, baby!

Credit to Jim, though. What a scumbag move. He looks scummy. He sounds scummy. He looks like he smells scummy. 

But he has convictions, and that's all we can ask for in today's world. 

Enjoy the 12 a.m. shift, Jimmy! The ratings should be great!

No balls on these gals, just pure excellence 

Hilarious. Truly, truly remarkable. Oh no, I'm sure the new CNN bosses, who see the cratering TV audience every single day, are just devastated over the news that Jim may quit. 

Oh no, Jim! Please don't go. Why would we demote you to a news hour that literally nobody (sober) watches if we wanted you to leave? Trust us, we want you to stay! We need your audience of 14!

CNN is praying this dummy quits. Praying. And that's something CNN doesn't do often!

On the other hand, you know who does? The MAGA Girls! Nancy Mace, Anna Paulina Luna AND Lauren Boebert. 

What a threesome for a Thursday afternoon!

Welcome to the show, Anna! Also, what the hell is the deal with the CFB championship?

Team America! God, the winning just won't end. Didn't Trump once say we'd get tired of all the winning? Hell, I ain't tired yet. You?

Of course not!

PS: Vivek going with the Dracula look was an insane choice. The future Gov. of Ohio, baby! 

OK, rapid-fire time so I can dig through my couch cushions one last time for my keys, only to hopefully find a few dollars so we can afford dinner tonight. 

First up? Look who Trump added to his stable of absolute firecrackers:

My God. Welcome to the team, Anna Kelly! What a lineup our great president has put together as we enter this 2025 season. 

Nancy, Anna Paulina, Lauren, Riley, Alina, Karoline Leavitt, Gov. Kristi … makes the '27 Yankees look like a minor league team. 

Good luck, Libs. It's over. You're fired!

Oh, look at that … a press sec who actually does her job and answers questions. Weird. Didn't think those still existed. 

Moving on! 

Let's talk about the ratings for the national title game earlier this week:

So, Clay has been all over this on Elon's app, and it sparked debate on this morning's OutKick AM call. 

Here's where I stand:

I've said this for years, and I stand by it. In no way, shape or form should a championship game sneak up on you, yet I feel like the national title game sneaks up on me every single year. 

I love college football. Watch it religiously. The fall is the greatest time of year, and it ain't close. But for whatever reason, the national title game just never seems to have the hype you'd think it would. 

Now, this year may have been an anomaly of sorts. You had the inauguration, which was an all-day affair. Trump's base is largely college football fans, if you didn't know. 

If Biden was inaugurated, my guess is folks would've switched within minutes. I probably (definitely) wouldn't have even turned it on. 

The game was also the latest it's ever been. For me, that's the bigger issue. I'm not sure how college football fixes it. Frankly, it may just get worse the more they expand. 

Think about it … by Jan. 20, most teams – and fans of teams – have been checked out since Thanksgiving. 

Thanksgiving! Do you realize how long ago Thanksgiving was when you're talking about society in 2025? We need everything so fast, and have so much at our disposal, that seven weeks feels like seven years. 

Regardless, seven weeks is a LONG TIME to wait. A lot happens in seven weeks. A lot of folks move on to other things.

The holidays get in the way. The seasons change. We're in a completely new year at this point. Some folks are still not drinking this month because they've convinced themselves this year I'll be different! 

Not the best recipe for a national title game, and I haven't even mentioned the pesky NFL playoffs! 

Again, I don't know how to fix it, but when a Week 4 Georgia-Bama game is more hyped all week than the national championship, it's probably something worth looking into. 

(Relax, I just used those teams as an example! Although the SEC is better, as you all know). 

Take us home, Gracie!

Whew. What a rant. Look, I don't love to just ramble on for paragraphs, but sometimes, I have to. Sorry! 

Look, here's Gracie Hunt to make up for it. Happy?

Now, let's go have a big night. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You have a solution to all my CFB rambling? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.