True Romance: Turkey, Stuffing & Taking Two Cougars Home On Thanksgiving Night

It's Thanksgiving, which means it's Thursday, which also means it's time for another edition of True Romance. The holidays are filled with excitement, one-night stands, and threesomes with a couple of cougars.

Hopefully you're reading this in between football games or after an afternoon nap and not as an escape from a family political debate. They happen, but you don’t want the miserable childless cat lady in your life ruining a good time.

So if you are escaping her ramblings about how we now have a dictator who is going to turn everything into The Handmaid's Tale, let me first say, that's a terrible way to spend one of the best holidays there is and, secondly, you've come to the right place.

We're not here for those kinds of debates. We're here, on Thanksgiving, to wander into the strange, sometimes overwhelming, world of romance. It's always a journey that brings out the best in us.

This week a faithful married man got swept up in the emotions of Thanksgiving, had a few drinks, and found himself in someone else's bed. Instead of burying this moment of weakness deep down and letting it eat him from the inside, he told his wife about it.

Following the one-night stand during a Thanksgiving trip, his wife started thinking about divorce, instead of sweet, sweet revenge. We're going from that to a 30-something Atlanta Falcons fan who hit up a cougar bar and ended up going home with not one, but two cougars.

That's a happy Thanksgiving. We end the week with passion, romance, and a couple getting caught having sex on top of a food truck. Buckle up, we're about to take a ride.

Woman's husband had a one-night stand while away for Thanksgiving

I didn’t want to start Thanksgiving off with a story of infidelity, but this goes beyond that. It's the perfect example of how people have lost compassion, understanding, and forgiveness.

This woman didn’t catch her husband cheating on her. She didn’t learn about how the magic of the holiday picked him up and dropped him off in someone’s bed from anyone else. He told her about it.

Let's take a look at how this all happened to a couple who, up until the fateful Thanksgiving trip, had been together for seven years, and married for five of them.

The upset wife explained on Reddit, "We have never had trust issues or infidelity. We have had a great marriage, the kind of relationship, we were really great friends. We have so much in common, we can sit and talk for hours, I was his best friend, and we even hung out during guys' night, watching football, with his friends. We had a great relationship."

(Image Credit: Getty)

This sounds almost too good to be true, and she might think everything up until the trip is awesome, but there's a red flag or two in her opening. The biggest one for me being that she couldn’t even leave him alone to hang out with his friends and watch football.

Let the man breathe for a few hours. Anyway, the overbearing, possibly controlling wife continued, "The cheating happened when he went home to New York for Thanksgiving, three days early. I arrived the day before Thanksgiving. This woman was visiting with his younger sister. They are in Grad School together, and they are really close friends. This woman couldn't make it home to California, so my in-Laws hosted her too."

This guy looked around for a couple of days and could finally do so without his wife standing there nagging him in either direction. He goes out for drinks with his sister and her friend. They had a great time. He was talking with his sister's friend the entire night, and the party kept going when they returned home.

"My husband didn't make excuses saying it was the beer. He said he was definitely wrong. He admitted he was flattered that she was flirting with him. He admitted she was extremely attractive," the wife explained.

"He even left her alone to go to bed when he felt himself feeling attracted to her. She came to him, and they were in his bedroom. They drank and talked more on the balcony and they ended up kissing and well. They had sex."

The next morning, he told his sister what had happened. She made her friend leave. The wife then arrived and could tell something was wrong with her husband. He was trying to hold it together and not ruin the family’s Thanksgiving.

Props to him for pulling that off. He ended up confessing to his wife on Thanksgiving night. She was caught off guard by the news. She listened, got upset, but didn’t get angry, then left and stayed with a friend the rest of the trip.

"My sister-in-law told me about this woman, she apologized profusely. I saw a photo of the woman. She is 27, she is absolutely beautiful. Not saying it makes anything OK, but, wow. She is the kind of woman men would absolutely fight over," she admitted.

When they get home, she kicks her husband out. She told him that she was considering getting a divorce. She always thought cheating would be something she could work out, but had doubts about making it work when it actually happened.

She said, "I do care I do love him. But I cannot be in a mediocre marriage. I don't want our daughter (3)to see her Mom accept being cheated on. I am overwhelmed, I am overthinking everything. I don't want to make the wrong decision."

Well, there's a little bit of good news here. Your three-year-old daughter has no idea that you've been cheated on or even what that means. So that can be crossed off the list of reasons for a divorce.

That doesn’t mean this marriage shouldn’t end in divorce, it probably should. She's completely ignoring the power of the holidays when she's looking at her husband’s cheating.

He was out having a few drinks, being flirted with by "the kind of woman men would absolutely fight over" and it was the week of Thanksgiving. What was he supposed to do here, not have a one-night stand? If you want to blame anyone or anything, it's Thanksgiving's fault.

Falcons fan took home two cougars on Thanksgiving night

Speaking of the power of the holidays, we're going to dive into a Falcons fan who found himself at a cougar bar on Thanksgiving night. There are some who can harness the magic that is in the air and use it to their advantage.

This is without question one of those stories. The man, in his early 30s, had gone to an Atlanta Falcons game, a game his Falcons lost. After the game, he and some friends went to a bar. This wasn’t just any bar, but a cougar bar.

This guy was absolutely mixing it up on a Thanksgiving. When you do that, and you're able to bring it all together, an unforgettable night can materialize. That's what happened for this guy.

(Image Credit: Getty)

"A few Thanksgiving's ago (30 or 31 at the time) I went to an Atlanta Falcons game with some friends and ended up at our fine city's most famous cougar bar - Johnny's Hideaway," the man explains.

"Given that it was the aforementioned holiday, it wasn't terribly busy so I just saddled up to the bar and ordered a drink and started surveying scene for any potential....options."

The Falcons might have lost that day, but this guy is going home a winner. As he was conducting the previously mentioned survey of the scene, he noticed two women staring him down and whispering to one another.

"So, I went over. It turns out, they didn't know each other but had struck up a conversation over how they each wanted to [hook up with] me...and then betting they could take me home together. They were right..."

The two ladies were in their early 50s and interested in capping their Thanksgiving off with some fun. They all went back to his place and jumped into bed.

Needless to say, this Falcons fan had a Thanksgiving threesome that he's never going to forget. He turned a loss on the field into a win in his bed.

Couple caught having sex on top of a chicken cart

Let's finish the day off with a story of love, sex, and property damage. It went down on a holiday in Germany, but not Thanksgiving. It illustrates beautifully the possibilities that are out there when you let romance take the wheel.

A couple in Munich decided that the top of a food truck was the perfect spot to share their passion with one another and the neighbors who had a view of the top of the truck.

The chicken shop was closed for a holiday at the time, so they were able to climb on top of the truck without anyone stepping in to ruin the mood. Those with a view couldn’t help but take pictures.

(Image Credit: Getty)

It's not every day that you see people letting romance win on the top of a food truck after all. It's a moment you want to make sure you document. A reminder of what is possible.

The owner of the food truck, a 70-year-old man, wasn't as pleased with their romp as the couple were. He told BILD, "They climbed over the bumper, then over the hood onto the roof."

The moment of passion had done some damage. He added, "The roof is a thermally insulated roof and only has a thin sheet of metal, which is why you are not allowed to walk on it."

They left dents in the food truck, which now has water collecting in them. On top of that, the ventilation unit is now wobbling. The apparent hater of all things love has filed a complaint with the police and provided photographic evidence.

The man hopes the passionate couple is held accountable for the damage to his truck. He added, "Their faces are clearly recognizable."

It doesn’t sound like this food truck owner is ever going to get it. He's already 70. There's still hope, but if you have to sacrifice your food truck in order for a couple to spread their message of love, then you happily do so.

That's what insurance is for! Fingers crossed that this guy learns this before it's too late.

True Romance

- Paul from St. Paul writes:

Lyle Menendez:

More narcissistic sociopathic behavior from a Menendez brother.  Who'd expect it?   This is the clown who waltzed back into the fresh murder scene an hour after executing his parents and told authorities he was there to retrieve some tennis equipment as if the police were there to take a theft report or something……

Content couple:

20 year-olds you say?  Most at that age are bad-decision manufacturing plants, so while intentions are pure on the part of this little sweetheart, this relationship is mere days, weeks, or months from finishing-up.

Widow:

It's a garden-spot for the husband since the widow has a conscience (at least at this time), but remember, it’s a character flaw to betray a friend who offered you much emotional support and friendship in your time of crisis and sorrow. So, the clock is ticking on when she makes it a problem for the husband, or the affair is discovered by the wife.  He will ride the wheels off this if the widow remains guilt ridden.

SeanJo

Another perfectly executed breakdown by Paul from St. Paul. This is a man that understands the intricacies of romance. His heart is open, and he's not turning his back and running away from anything.

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That's it for this special Thanksgiving edition. I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving and if you find yourself in a cougar club later this evening, remember the lessons learned from the Falcons fan.

Feel free to send questions, comments, stories, and whatever else you like my way. The inbox is open sean.joseph@outkick.com.