True Romance: My GF Is Dating A Married Man, Swingers Share Unusual Vows & Woman Choosing To Ignore Cheating
What do you do if your girlfriend is dating a married man? Is that a situation you put yourself in the middle of or do you let everything work itself out the way the universe sees fit?
Should anyone care what kind of vows are exchanged between swingers? For some reason people do, and it's about time we let romance do its thing.
We wrap things up in this week's edition of True Romance with SeanJo with the ultimate example of someone willing to step aside when they recognize love unfolding before them.
A married woman knows her husband is cheating. She knows he's fallen for the other woman. All that is unfolding, and she's choosing to pretend that she doesn't know a thing.
This is a woman far more advanced than most of us are. She's not about to break up her husband’s chance at true love while completely turning her life and the life of her son upside down.
My girlfriend is dating a married man
We get started this week with a man who is caught up in an odd spot, to say the least. His girlfriend is dating a married man and, despite the open relationship they're in, he's had enough.
He's now to the point where he wants to tell the man's wife. The 29-year-old and his 27-year-old girlfriend have been together for five years. Eight months ago, they decided to open their relationship.
A smart move by these two. You don't want to head into year six without exploring what else is out there. That's the most logical part of this whole situation. Anyway, back to the tough spot this guy finds himself in.
He explains that a while after they opened up their relationship, his girlfriend started to date a married man. She made a rookie mistake and forgot to set boundaries. She then fell in love.
A man's girlfriend is dating a married man and he's thinking of telling the man's wife about the relationship. (Image Credit: Getty)
"I knew it all along, and I agreed to her seeing him as we were open and I didn't want to control what she was doing (I was also seeing someone but who was also in an open relationship). However I did tell her that I thought it was morally unacceptable for me, and that I thought that cheating is horrible and that she is contributing to this by giving her time/affection/love to this guy."
This guy gets it. There's a huge difference between open relationships and cheating. You've got set the boundaries early to make sure you don't get too carried away.
That didn't happen. She was constantly texting the married man in front of her boyfriend while also reassuring her boyfriend of five years that "she loves me and wants to stay with me."
Those reassurances aren't paying him off any longer. He's fed up with the cheating the other guy is doing and wants to shut it down. He continued, "I told my girlfriend I wanted to close the relationship and wanted her to stop seeing him if she wants to stay with me. I was not really satisfied with her reaction when I told her this."
Who could have seen this kind of trouble coming? Obviously, his girlfriend is playing a different game than he is. She's in love now, and it's going to take more than her boyfriend asking her to end things for her to call it quits with the married guy.
He is constantly thinking about telling the man's wife about her husband's affair. He sees it as an unfair situation that he's been put in.
"I think it's unfair that I had to deal with this, while this man was profiting the situation," he said. "Should I tell this woman that her husband is cheating on her ??"
This one's an easy one for those of us who operate our day-to-day lives with an open heart. No, he shouldn’t tell the man's wife. He's obviously dealing with a touch of jealousy which is blinding his judgment.
He has to let this run its course. You never, under any circumstances, step in the way of love. You'll only end up getting run over. Nobody wants to see that happen.
Swingers catch heat for unusual wedding vows
Talk about things nobody wants to see happen. It appears that nobody wants to see swingers live happy lives. How else do you explain a swinging couple's unusual wedding vows being criticized?
Can't a couple find love, put up pink flamingos - I think that's a symbol used by swingers - and get married in peace? One would think. Who am I to say for sure? Maybe these two asked for it.
They certainly didn't have to share their wedding vows publicly. The two, from Portsmouth, England, tied the knot with humor and vows that to some might seem unusual.
A swinging couple catches heat for their unusual wedding vows. (Imnage Credit: Getty)
The man, a paint sprayer named Paul said to his beautiful bride, reports the Daily Star, "I promise to be by your side no matter how long it takes for you to choose from the menu when eating out. I promise to tolerate your bad attitude when it is week two of your cycle and to peel you out of your stinking running gear when you get stuck and to love you unconditionally or at least until you really f*** me off."
His wife, Kaye, a nurse, had similar vows, "I promise to be by your side despite you being an impatient d*** when you’re hangry. I promise to listen and show an interest in your conspiracy theories when I’ve only just woken up and my eyes are still stuck together. I will realize that only one of us likes to have our spots squeezed and it isn’t you. And I promise to love you unconditionally or at least until you really f*** me off."
Now that is a heartwarming exchange if I've ever seen one. Full disclosure here, I'm not a write your own vows kind of guy, but when they come together like these vows do, I can look past my own distaste for the practice.
There was a ton of backlash on the video footage from their big day. People throwing out opinions about how that language isn't appropriate for weddings and the vows are "an absolute mockery."
They didn't sign up for all that. This is a couple in their 40s who regretted the fact that they didn't play the field when they were younger. They've got lost time to make up for.
The last thing they're worrying about is what everyone else has to say about their wedding vows.
Kaye summarized it perfectly and threw a Derrick Henry-style stiff arm right to the forehead of all the haters. She said, "While the lifestyle is becoming more recognized, some feel we shouldn’t have got married because they don’t understand our dynamics of non-monogamy."
Well done. This is what "us against the world" kind of love looks like.
My husband is cheating, but I'm pretending I have no idea
Let's finish the week off on a strong note. With a reminder of what being a true believer in romance looks like. It's not always about what you want.
The heart has a mind of its own sometimes, and it needs to be followed unimpeded. That's where this woman steps in. She learned that her husband of 15 years was having an affair and has decided to proceed by pretending she has no idea that it's going on.
She found text messages on her husband's phone, according to the Mirror. She said, "I borrowed his phone and saw some texts. There was some explicit messages, mostly just random conversations with another woman. They talked about times they've met up, so it's a physical affair not just an emotional one."
Young woman Spy on Husband's Cell Phone
Adding to the situation is the fact that they exchange I love yous. This is serious. They've discussed parenting, and the wife even found mention of herself, so she knows that the other woman knows he's married.
She looked up the other woman on Instagram and described her as "young, pretty, and successful." Despite the affair, she doesn’t plan on confronting her husband. Who is she to get in the way of love?
"I was shocked when I found out. But the more I've thought about it I've decided to say nothing," she admitted. "If I confront him then our lives will completely change. Our son's life will change. I don't know how he'd react if he'd deny it or end it or leave me and run off with her, I mean he told her he loves her. We have such a nice, stable home life. I don't want to lose that."
I told you this was a person who gets it. She's not about to ruin a nice stable home life over an affair with a young, pretty, and successful woman. She understands that this could be her husband’s shot at love. Let him go for it while he takes care of her and her son.
It's not how most would go about handling the situation, but she's thinking about how this plays out in the long term. If he finds real love, she doesn’t get in the way of that. If he didn’t find it, no harm, no foul.
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That's it for this week. Remember we have friend of the site, Sara Blake Cheek, ready to answer your questions. I received a couple, but we want more sean.joseph@outkick.com.
You can remain anonymous as always. It can be something personal going on or just something you're curious to have answered.
She'll be answering them, and we'll hopefully have those ready for the first True Romance in September. Have a great week and we'll do it again next Thursday.