True Romance: Ex Marrying Woman's BFF, Guy Sleeps With Other Men's Wives & Can You Share A Bed With Friends?
Welcome to another edition of True Romance. We've made it through another week, and I have to admit after watching my Yankees blow it in the World Series last night - and throughout the series, for that matter - this is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Nothing like an afternoon filled with romance to pick you up. It's the cure to what ails you. This week we are taking a look at a couple of real gems who want to invite the woman they both betrayed to their wedding.
That's right, a woman's ex is marrying her (former) best friend, and they want her to come to the wedding. What a couple of a-holes.
From there, we get into a single guy's life as a bull. He has arrangements with married couples where he sleeps with other men's wives. An interesting arrangement that, he says, is with mostly well-off couples.
We then tackle a situation where a woman's boyfriend is sharing a bed with his female friends and says there's nothing at all going on. The friends don't see a problem with the bed sharing.
That leads to an important question. Is it okay to share a bed with friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship? sean.joseph@outkick.com.
We then wrap up the week with another recap of last week's True Romance with thoughts on the topics from Paul from Saint Paul.
Ex is marrying woman's best friend
A woman says that a few years ago her 27-year-old ex-boyfriend, Josh, broke up with her so that he could start dating her 25-year-old former best friend Ana. While upset about it at the time, she has since moved on.
Then, after three years of no contact with either of them, Ana reached out to inform her that she and Josh were getting married. To top it off, they want her to be in the wedding party.
"I received a message from Ana, telling me that she and Josh were getting married and that they would like me to be a part of the wedding party," the woman explained, reports The Mirror.
"I replied 'Congratulations. No, thank you.' I had no feelings for Josh anymore and I’m even seeing someone else, but I don’t want to celebrate the wedding of two people who betrayed me."
A woman received an invitation to her ex-boyfriend and former best friend's wedding. (Image Credit: Getty)
End of story, right? She was asked, politely declined, time to move on. Nope. According to the woman, her ex reached out and even some of her friends tried to convince her to go. No matter who asked, the answer was always no, because obviously it would be.
What kind of nut jobs would even have the balls to ask in the first place? Apparently these two. They got her own mom to call and ask, while she "sounded disappointed" mom "didn’t push it."
The woman was thoroughly confused by this time. She asked, "Why would you want your ex-girlfriend/ex-best friend, the girl you cheated on, to be part of your wedding party?"
Good question. They could be trying to make themselves feel better about how they went about getting together. Or perhaps they want to make it up to her. Some drinks, maybe a wedding night ménage à trois.
Who knows? There could be a thousand reasons, which is precisely why she should go. Feel it out and if you even get a whiff of "they extended the invite to make themselves feel better," you ruin the wedding.
The bride's mother even started calling and had the audacity to say, "I should let bygones be bygones and that I should be happy for her daughter."
Maybe I'm just more passionate than most, but I would go to this wedding. I'd hope for some wedding night fun, but if that wasn't in the cards I'd leave a happy person knowing I ruined their big day.
Guy sleeps with other men's wives
A self-described bull takes listeners of the Other People's Lives podcast behind the scenes of what he really enjoys and that's sleeping with other men's wives.
The man explained that he had only been in monogamous relationships up until he started his current lifestyle. He had a couple of long-term relationships and when one of them, a five-year relationship, came to an end, he jumped on a dating app.
It was while he was scrolling on the app that he found a woman in an open marriage. Not knowing anything about it, he was understandably curious.
This guy sleeps with other men's wives. (Image Credit: Getty)
A rookie mistake on his part was that he started developing feelings for the married woman. Her marriage, it turned out, wasn’t on good terms at the time and it got very messy.
He eventually started dating this woman. He married her and is now divorced from her. All rookie mistakes on his part and mistakes that he's learned from.
Now he's approaching his role as a bull like that of a robot. He leaves his feelings at home before he jumps into bed with the well-to-do married women all over the city where he lives.
There are a couple of swinger friendly bars and clubs in the area, but the best place for him to find married women is on the internet and on dating apps. Al Gore could never have pictured any of this when he created the internet.
It's all going down in his city. There's a ton of options. The bottom line is, you don’t have a clue what your well-off married neighbors are up to, but this dude does.
My boyfriends friend has a problem with me asking him not to sleep in a bed with another woman.
Before Paul from Saint Paul does his thing, let's take a look at this girlfriend's situation with her boyfriend and his female friends. She took to the "Am I overreacting?" section of Reddit to find out if she is in fact overreacting.
"Hi everyone, my boyfriend has a big group of friends with lots of girls in it. A lot of times after they go out or have too much to drink, they'll crash at someone's house," she explains.
Okay, nothing out of the ordinary there. This is his friend group, lots of people with lots of girls. What could go wrong, especially when they go out drinking?
"One night he came home and shared he slept in a bed with this girl (who the texts are from - see the full text exchange here). We did not have a fight at all - I know he's grown up doing this," she continued.
The girlfriend isn't taking any crap from her boyfriend's female friends who love to sleep in the same bed with him after a night of drinking. (Image Credit: Getty)
"I told him I wasn't super comfortable with that and asked if he could not do that, to which he did not argue at all and expressed total respect for my boundary. We have not spoken about it since."
There you have it, play the final credits, this one's over. The girlfriend set some boundaries and the boyfriend was on board with them. Wouldn’t you know it? One of his female friends isn't down with the arrangement that he not share a bed after a night of drinking with his friends of the opposite sex.
Call me crazy, but I don't know of many girlfriends or wives that wouldn’t have an issue with their significant others sharing a bed with a friend of the opposite sex. His friend doesn’t see what the issue is.
So she decided to text his girlfriend. In one of those text messages she says, "OK, well if I'm just being super transparent it just feels like it's really over the top possessiveness and it's not a good look for either of you."
Those are fighting words right there. You can't throw out that and not expect some push back, but she's not finished yet. She adds, "You can trust [boyfriend's name] to sleep in a bed with his girlfriends and seeing him sleep on the floor makes me sad for him."
"I really like you and the two of you together, but I know him very well and just wanted to give you an idea of how this might be affecting him/those around him."
Not surprisingly, the girlfriend shut it down. She replied to her boyfriend's friend by stuffing her into a locker. She said, "While I appreciate how much you care for [boyfriend's name] honestly I feel like you're overstepping."
Oh, no she didn't. Yes she did and she wasn’t finished there. Her text continued, "This is not your business and I find it strange you're being a little insistent on demanding he sleep in a bed with you. He agreed to this boundary whole heatedly and that's all you need to know about it."
The girlfriend then slammed the locker door with, "It's my relationship and he knows he can come to me if he has a problem with it. I'm done talking about this with you."
Did she overreact here? I don't think so. If nothing is going on then him agreeing to not sleep in the same bed with his friends anymore shouldn't be a big deal.
Let me know what you think? Is it okay to share a bed with friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship? sean.joseph@outkick.com.
True Romance
- Paul from Saint Paul, MN writes:
Sean Jo,
- It doesn't surprise me that the Controlled Cheating story comes from Australia. That country is the origin of just about every hare-brained zany scheme you can imagine on a range of subjects. If these wives believe that this type of arrangement is anything more than procuring just another erotic experience for a husband who is apt to be unfaithful, then they are impossibly foolish or naïve. A guy who cheats is going to do so at any given opportunity and justify it however they will with their own twisted rationale. The bottom line is that if you want variety, then simply remain single and unattached because you have no basis to expect fidelity from your spouse when you can't provide that in what is supposed to be a committed and loving relationship.
- The story of the Cheating Boss reads like a Playboy Forum fantasy article. Is it possible for the Director of a company to get away with this type of reckless conduct over a period of several years? Yes. Is it probable that all the men employees dipping their pens in the company ink on these trips would then keep their mouths shut about it for several years? Naw. A successful businesswoman who wants variety in a partner will find that with highly successful and equally attractive men in their own economic strata who can scratch their itch and provide an abundance of perks on an equal or greater scale. I'm calling B.S. on this one.
- Age Gap Couple: 61 y/o man w/ 31 y/o wife who wants to be a throuple with another beautiful woman here age? Translation: He's quite wealthy, she has a high-class life of privilege in exchange for fulfillment of sexual desires, and the world, therefore, is their oyster. Yes?
Thanks for the entertaining read…..
SeanJo
Another excellent breakdown here by Paul. We might need a weekly recap through the eyes of the man in Saint Paul. He gets romance. Keep them coming Paul.
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That's all for this week. We'll pick it back up next Thursday. Happy Halloween, I'll see you then. Feel free to send questions, comments, stories, and whatever else you like my way. The inbox is open sean.joseph@outkick.com.