True Romance: All-Night BDSM Session Ends With Penis Sliced Off, Age-Gap Couple Busted At Laundromat & More!
It's Thursday again and that means it's time for another edition of True Romance.
Last week we had a reluctant sugar daddy leading the way. This week we start out with a true romance story that gets off to a strong start, but takes a horrific turn.
It's days like this that I'm reminded a trip into the darkness isn’t all bad. It shows us just how bright the light is when we experience it again.
Have a little something near you to pour out for the all-nighter gone horribly wrong. It's not one for the faint of heart. Some are going to have to look deep inside themselves to get through it.
But the good news is we have sunshine on the other side.
An almost 40-year-age-gap couple that cannot keep their hands off each other. It's heartwarming, it's joy, it's love and it's true romance.
Then we hit a tale as old as time. A love story that hits a bump in the road because of a best friend that grabs a woman's boyfriend's attention. Let's get started.
All-night BDSM session ends with girlfriend slicing off boyfriend's penis
Ukraine is in a full-on war right now, but that doesn’t necessarily mean there's no romance going on. There is. And this couple reminds us all that a night of passion can get away from the best of us.
What started as a drunken all-night BDSM session turned into an argument, by some accounts, and a man with his penis sliced off.
That's not the happy ending this guy, or anyone for that matter, was hoping for. There was so much promise to the evening when Alena, 31, and Denis, 36, planned an all-nighter at her place in the war-torn resort of Mariupol.
A quiet place located in a part of Ukraine occupied by Russia. The perfect setting for a night filled with passion, romance, and it turns out, cutting a penis off.
An all-nighter gone wrong ends with man having penis sliced off. (Image Credit: Getty)
The Daily Mail reports that one version of events says that Denis, apparently a security guard at a supermarket, had cut his own manhood off during a drunken BDSM session.
The witness accounts from neighbors say that they heard an argument take place and that's what "led to the woman using a knife to attack his penis."
Those are words you don’t want to ever hear as a man. Another version of events says that, "She saw blood, realized what she had done, and called an ambulance."
They added, "The man's life was saved, but his reproductive organ was not."
There are a few more keywords that you don’t want to hear if you're a man, especially in the context of a knife being used to attack the man's penis. Where did these two go wrong?
Was it the alcohol? Was it the all-night BDSM session? Could they have gotten away with just a couple of hours? Was it the knife play or all of the above?
Those are really questions that the authorities are going to have to get answered. They're trying to get to the bottom of that now. What they've been told and have reported is this was a couple that "indulged in lovemaking all night long."
They were tired, they were drunk, and they were getting too violent throughout. The report states, "As Alena said, the games became increasingly violent, and at 5am she picked up a knife. The amount of alcohol was also increasing with each passing minute."
It continues, "In the end, the woman's hand trembled, and she accidentally almost cut off her partner's penis." He was taken to the hospital but, unfortunately, "they were unable to save the important organ."
Once again, a very valuable lesson that you can love one another too much. The bloody knife and leather belt found at the scene are evidence of that. It cost a man his penis. Don't take this lesson lightly.
Age-gap couple accused of having sex in laundromat
Now we're going to switch gears a bit to a couple with a lot of passion, but a better outcome as far as the man's penis is concerned.
We move from Ukraine to Wisconsin where an age-gap couple keeping things exciting between them got busted getting it on in a laundromat.
A 29-year-old man and a 67-year-old woman - love doesn’t know what age is - were arrested after the owner of a laundromat reviewed security footage on Christmas Eve and saw them on the floor getting it on under a blanket.
This isn’t this couple's first time having sex in public. Last May, they were busted reportedly having sex in the lobby of the county jail. Now I don’t know what else to call that but true romance.
An age-gap couple got busted hooking up at a laundromat. (Image Credit: Getty)
The Freeman reports that, according to a criminal complaint filed against the two, the owner of the laundromat saw the couple "lying under a blanket on the floor of the laundromat, apparently engaging in sexual intercourse."
They did, respectfully, stop when someone entered the location. But their deed was in full view of the security camera and police said that in addition to "movements akin to sexual activity," they at one point shifted the blankets and exposed their nude lower bodies.
"An unsuspecting patron is sitting not far from where this was happening the entire time. Also, another patron is in the laundromat doing their laundry," the complaint said.
"As the patron is leaving, the patron looks in the direction of the two of them, but it is unknown what was actually observed. Based on the repetitive thrusting motions made and that the defendants were naked from the waist down to their mid-calves, it was reasonable to assume that they were engaged in sexual intercourse."
They appeared in court on Monday and received several charges for their laundromat outing. The man could face two years in prison if convicted, while the woman is looking at up to 21 months.
The man told a deputy after the incident in May in the jail lobby that "sex happens." Yes it does. For these two, it happens in the lobby at a jail or in a laundromat, wherever the mood strikes them.
Threesome ruined a friendship
We're going to end this week (save for a reader comment below) with a tale as old as time. The tale of a boy meeting a girl and falling in love.
Then having a thing for his girlfriend's friend and the three of them wound up in bed together. What could possibly go wrong? Well, how about everything?
The friendship appears to have been ruined and there's a chance that the couple won’t make it either. All because of a tale as old as time.
It's completely normal, a part of life. The boy meets the girl. They fall in love, then bring the girlfriend's friend into bed with them. It happens all the time, all over the world.
A friendship between best friends might be over because of a threesome. (Image Credit: Getty)
All the way up to the point when the boyfriend ends up ignoring his girlfriend during a threesome. That's where it falls apart. A mistake on his part or something more?
The third wheel (the girlfriend's best friend) took her story to Reddit. She starts off by saying that the threesome she had with her best friend of 10 years and her friend's boyfriend may have ruined her relationship with her bestie.
That doesn’t seem very likely, but let's hear her out anyway. The three of them hang out on a regular basis and have developed what she describes as a strong bond. Last week at a party they put that strong bond to the test.
Her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend started out by making jokes about the threesomes they had. The conversation then took a turn.
"We were quite drunk by this point, and as we kept joking around, we started getting quite hands with each other. It got to the point where Jay suggested we all go and lie down in his bedroom."
One thing led to another and then, before they knew it, they were in the middle of a threesome. A threesome where the boyfriend ended up ignoring his girlfriend and that's where the trouble started.
He's evidently a big fan. This hasn’t sat well with his girlfriend, and she pointed the finger directly at the third wheel for accepting the threesome invite.
She wrote, "She's pissed at me for saying yes to the threesome. She also said 'I know it's not technically your fault, but it's always been this way since we were teenagers.' I asked her what she meant by that. And she said that boys end up liking me more than her (her ex bf during high school admitted to her he had a crush on me) and she can't take it anymore."
Bottom line, her best friend doesn’t want to be friends with her anymore. She's upset and thinks that she's losing her best friend and her friend group. That's a tough situation, but at the end of the day it wasn’t her idea.
She helped a friend, her best friend of 10 years, find out that the guy she was with wasn’t the right one. That's what best friends are for.
She'll be able to help her bestie find Mr. Right, once she finds a guy that doesn’t end up having a crush on her or isn’t trying to arrange a threesome. I have a feeling this friendship isn’t over.
#TrueRomance
- Gene in the Rock writes:
Suggestion for the guy who doesn't want to be a sugar daddy... take up with a sugar mommy.
Worked out pretty well for Trump, you think?
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That's it. What a week. Thanks to Gene for reaching out. I'm not entirely sure what he's talking about, but I'm glad to have him as a True Romance reader.
Feel free to send questions, comments, stories, and whatever else you like my way. The inbox is open sean.joseph@outkick.com.