Tommy DeVito Is An Internet Sensation, Proper Showers, Dudes Celebrating Birthdays & Who Wants A Giant Meatball

I am in such a terrible mood.

Mostly because I woke up this morning to realize the epic collapse by my Miami Dolphins last night was not a fever dream brought on by too many Landsharks and a batch of bad takeout sushi.

Nope. It was real.

And if you missed the game (because you were too busy watching Tommy Cutlets dropping dimes), here's a quick recap:

And it's entirely my fault. See, I had a bad feeling about that game. The Dolphins were 13.5-point favorites, and no one was giving the garbage Titans a chance. Plus, this is usually the festive time of year Miami when shatters all of my hopes and dreams just in time for the holidays.

But still I had hope. So yesterday afternoon, I started browsing AirBnBs in Vegas and reaching out to my NFL contacts for possible Super Bowl ticket sellers.

Not this year. They won't let me down this year!

I never learn. Granted, I know I'm being dramatic. The Dolphins are still 9-4, and still hold a playoff spot. They could still win the Super Bowl. But they just made their jobs a lot harder — with the Cowboys, Ravens and Bills all standing in the way of the postseason.

Hootie was on to something. The Dolphins really do be making me cry.

And on that joyful note, I think we could all use a drink. Kick back, relax, turn your phone on "do not disturb" and let's get to some Nightcaps!

The Internet Loves Tommy DeVito

I am eternally grateful to Tommy DeVito for taking some of the attention away from the absolute clunker the Dolphins laid last night.

I haven't seen sports Twitter/X this excited about someone since Shohei Ohtani got $700 million. And that was only a few days ago. But you get the point: America loves Tommy Cutlets.

In case you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard all about the New York Giants quarterback, who is also the most Italian guy of all time. He lives with his mom, he loves chicken cutlets, and he's probably the most talked-about undrafted QB since Josh-Allen-Superfan Tony Romo got his first shot in 2006.

Just four starts in, the guy already has a beer named after him and custom chicken cutlet graphics on ESPN.

Granted, the graphics weren't great.

It kind of reminded me of the time I found myself in Tarpon Springs, Fla., surrounded by dried up sea sponges. But one thing's for sure: They did not look like chicken cutlets.

You know they had some fire cutlets at the tailgate, though.

Tommy's parents (Alexandra and Tom) and his brother Max cooked food for more than 300 people outside MetLife Stadium before the game. And damn, it looked like some good Italian grub.

Tommy's agent really stole the show, though.

And he looks exactly how you would expect him to look.

He even got celebratory kisses from Big Tom!

Anyway, the Giants got the win over the Packers — thanks to Tommy, a couple TDs from Saquon Barkley and a last-second, walk-off field goal.

I'll let Eddie Murphy break it down.

And now I'm done thinking about football for the rest of the day. I'm in mourning.

IKEA Wants To Give You A Giant Meatball

If you can't get Italian meatballs at the Devito family tailgate, can we interest you in a Swedish meatball?

No? But what if it were a 10-POUND Swedish meatball?!

You're probably less interested now.

Regardless, IKEA (the gigantic Swedish furniture store) is giving away 60 gigantic meatballs — 600 pounds worth — to feed you and 24 of your closest friends this holiday season. Just imagine pulling that out of the oven at the family party! Or being the lucky person who unwraps a massive frozen meatball during the White Elephant gift exchange.

It's supposed to be the size of a turkey, but I'm not quite sure how one carves a meatball. You probably just cut it in half and it crumbles all over the table.

Everybody grab a spoon and dive in!

If giant balls of meat aren't really your thing, they're also giving away 60 "veggie trees" — that's a tower of vegetarian meatballs. So if you're looking for a Secret Santa gift for someone you hate, look no further.

The winner is the first person who can navigate their way through the store and build a bookshelf without the directions!

I made that part up, but that would be pretty funny to watch.

Now that I got your hopes up, though, I regret to inform you that both the 10-pound meatballs and the God-forsaken veggie trees are only available to customers in the United Kingdom.

But if you happen to be headed across the pond this Christmas season, get your butt to IKEA and enter. Then please send me a picture because I need to see it in action.

The meatball, not your butt.

The Proper Way To Shower?

I've got a couple of viral videos that keep popping up on my timeline, so let's have an incredibly dumb conversation about them.

First up, what is the right way to shower?

This girl Alexandra was chatting with her mom about a bathroom renovation when she mentioned that she showers facing away from shower head — so the water runs down her hair and back. She was shocked to find out that her mom does the opposite: Alexandra's mom faces the water, allowing it to hit her in the face.

"I feel like the normal way to shower is with the shower head behind you," Alexandra said.

Somehow, this video has 5.5 million views (and counting). And while it may seem ridiculous, it has all of TikTok torn. Turns out, everyone is very particular about the way that they shower and did not consider there could be another way.

"No because voluntarily getting waterboarded doesn't sound fun at all," one person commented.

"Who the hell faces the water?!" another inquired.

"Facing the water is unhinged."

"Who DOESN’T face the water?!"

"I face the water the whole time other than washing my hair."

And my favorite answer: "I constantly move around like a rotisserie chicken! Equal time on both sides."

I had never thought about this until now. Personally, I face the water. But just because you're facing the water doesn't mean you're letting it spray you in the face the whole time, either. That would just be ridiculous.

But why not? Let's do a poll.

Fellas, Do You Celebrate Your Birthday?

You've probably seen this video because it's been all over X the past couple of days, but I'm legitimately curious to get feedback from the menfolk on it.

Danielle planned an epic 30th birthday party for her boyfriend. She got a rental property with pickleball courts and even a taco caterer. And she invited 20 of his friends to attend.

None of them could make it.

I immediately had questions: Was this rental property far away? Did she provide plenty of advanced notice? Are these friends he hangs out with regularly?

But I was floored to see the thousands responses from so many guys claiming grown men do not celebrate birthdays.

Well, this is news to me, y'all. Because I have been to plenty of grown-man birthday celebrations over the years. And I'd feel like a complete asshole if I just let my husband's birthday pass by without doing something to celebrate.

But according to the Internet, that's weird? Is it a regional thing for dudes to not celebrate birthdays? Or do y'all just not have any friends?

And I'm not talking about a Letterkenny-style "super soft birthday" with party hats, cupcakes and pony rides. I'm just talking about a chill get-together suitable for grown adults.

And yes, I'm well aware that women make a bigger deal about their birthdays than men do.

But for me, it's not really about the birthday. It's about the fact that this boyfriend supposedly has 20 "friends" and not a single one of them could be bothered to show up.

What Rob said.

I will concede that this woman should not have gotten on TikTok and cried about it. That's pretty embarrassing if you're the boyfriend.

But fellas, do you really not want anyone to celebrate your birthday? Like not even a few beers and a nice steak dinner or a backyard BBQ? Or do you completely disagree with all of these guys? Have you had (or been to) a birthday party as a grown man that was really great?

Email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com with your thoughts. We're going to unpack this in my Womansplaining column.

2023 OutKick Most Stylish

And I need your input on one more thing.

Every year, the New York Times releases its list of the most stylish people.

It's not really a style award. Not at all, actually. It's just an opportunity for the Times to prop up some celebrities and politicians while also filling space with evergreen content while their entertainment reporters go on vacation for the holidays.

Of course, this year's list had all the usual famous people. But it also had some weird ones. Including "most sylish people" who aren't even people — like the Vegas Sphere, Jeff Bezos' boat and the cockroach at the Met Gala.

Take a look:

I'm confident we can do better.

So I'm compiling a list of "OutKick's 2023 Most Stylish People" List. I already have a solid list going, but I want your feedback, too.

Please send your candidates to Amber.Harding@OutKick.com for consideration. And since there are no rules, it can be anyone or anything you believe is worthy this year.

Stuff That Made Me LOL

It looked a whole lot different on HGTV.

Whose grandpa is this?

Also me with an empty wine glass.

Can we get this guy in the TNML?

Guy in the middle is a star.

And finally, we'll end with a little motivation. Don't let anything stop you from getting what you want this week!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.