Tiffany Gomas Triggers The Left With Ultra Right Beer Bikini, Biden Talking To Beer Girl & TNML Opening Day
I've read the emails, I've heard what the developer experts have said, I have listened to all sides of the issue and I've come to the conclusion that we need to do some tests
Today, we begin Screencaps Test No. 1 to see if we can find a sweet spot for people who love this column. If the column doesn't load, then it is of no use to you. I get that. You're not offending me by saying as much.
Phones are the issue, specifically the iPhone. That's a problem because most of you are reading this at work on your iPhones.
So….
Test No. 1:
- Keep the post under 20 Twitter embeds
- Two video embeds
- The crazy plane lady Tiffany Gomas as our only model
- We're still going to have some fun!
- If you see empty gray boxes as you're scrolling, those are empty ad boxes; you're in luck, there's no inventory to fill the spots – congrats.
But…but…but…Joe (!!!!) this isn't the Screencaps that I love!
Yeah, no shit, but if Screencaps won't load and keeps re-loading for the others who get it to load only to scroll down and have it re-load, then we have a problem.
So we're going into isolation mode. We have no choice but to find the sweet spot. I'm not anti-change. I just need to find a baseline, so I can adjust my approach. Once I find that sweet spot, then I can key in on what content I think will fit the parameters.
Perhaps we go to Instagram Models Only Fridays; Meat Mondays?
Remember, there's no manual to this stuff like I'm working on a 1972 Cadillac. Let me know how today works on your end. Did the post load?
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
What would you say to Paigeviews if you met her?
– Ray S. writes:
The Paige S. collage was the best ever post on Screncaps. It got me to thinking. What would the men of SC Nation say to her (not "do" you perverts!) if they met her? I mean she is incredible and I would be frozen, I know that.
Kinsey:
Well, I'm glad to hear that Screencaps loaded for Ray on Wednesday. That's a relief after so many emails from pissed-off readers. (Let's see if that loaded…I'm still under 20 embeds!)
Frozen?
Get it together, Ray S.! As a Big J who has interviewed Hooters Girls, Rachel Stuhlmann (world's No. 1 ranked tennis influence), Screencaps legend Terann Hilow who once made a special bikini just for Screencaps, Playmate Jaime Edmondson – who is now married to Evan Longoria – when she wore the Cam Newton BCS pants that I own, etc., let me help you, Ray.
- "Hey, Paigeviews, great to meet you. How's your golf game right now?"
Instant ice-breaker. Simple. Cordial. Not creepy like that weirdo Greggg Doyel in Indianapolis to Caitlin Clark.
Or…
- "Hey Paigeviews, great to meet you. You've been to Augusta National multiple times. Do you think The Masters has fake birds chirping in the trees? I was on the 5th tee box this year during a practice round and I'm convinced there were fake birds chirping in those trees.
She's going to smile, laugh and loosen up. Sure, she might think you're a little kooky, but it's going to start a conversation and that's what we're after here, Ray. Now, this one is only for guys who've been to Augusta. If you haven't I highly recommend modifying this to reflect that you think CBS raises the audio levels on its bird mics.
Here's an email that caught me off-guard
– Anonymous writes:
If you still want an interview, I can give you the truth about the BBC on the Commodore Perry Statue.
Kinsey:
Woah, wait just a minute! Talk about a blast from the past. This email is referencing a post I wrote way back in 2019, before I came to OutKick, that focused on the BBC that someone attached to the Commodore Perry statue here in my town, Perrysburg, Ohio.
As you can see in this 2019 video (fast-forward to the end), Commodore Perry was sporting wood during a September 2019 parade.
I have no choice but to hear this story, but I need to figure out if the statute of limitations have run out or will my ass be hauled into court to figure out who attached a dildo to Mr. Perry?
Stay tuned.
TNML rainouts & a beaver invasion
– Eric asks:
TNML- how does the league approach rainouts? Is the commissioner taking into account strength of schedule?
When I get rained out and have to get in doubleheader certain weeks to catch up on grass growth I feel that has to considered. Does this open up a can of worms?
Because then we have to take into account spring training and prep work for those of us in colder climates and the extra cleanup maybe the folks in warmer climates don’t have to endure? Do we need divisions?
Kinsey:
- If you're rained out, mow on Friday. Put it this way, you should do whatever is humanly possible to not mow on Saturday. SKIP IT. Mow on Sunday. Raise the deck as high as it will go. Then lower it, if needed on Tuesday. Mow. Then mow again on Thursday.
- But…but…but…I can't be mowing three times per week this time of year?
- Yes you can.
- To those people, I say maybe this league isn't for you. How bad do you want to gain control of your weekends and your life? What sacrifices are you willing to make to enjoy the finer things in life like telling your wife that your Saturday is WIDE OPEN and you're free to do lunch cocktails after baseball practice?
- No divisions. Right now, the south is dialed in, but here in eight weeks they'll be bone dry and barely participating while those in Minnesota will be dialed in. Everything evens out.
- Bob R. in East TN writes:
I do have a problem that perhaps your readers can help with. We have lived on the Tennessee River for almost ten years now, but this is a new one. I don't have much of a yard, but I do have a nice large garden area with a variety of shrubbery and rose bushes.
Starting a few days ago, we have been invaded by a beaver or beavers. In three nights, they have completely destroyed a shrub that was six feet tall and five feet in diameter. Chewed it down to the roots and dragged the branches to the river. I'm afraid that they will continue their damaging ways, as I have two other identical shrubs. We are on the main channel, so they are not building dams. I don't know if they are eating it or what. They leave most of the debris behind at the water's edge.
We have a dog, which rules out electric fencing or any toxic pesticides. Also, he loves to swim (Golden Retriever), so I don't want to block access to the water. Some sites recommend garlic or hot pepper sprays or even peppermint oil, but when I read reviews about various products, the results are not encouraging.
Quit throwing away money
Here's a good one from the Wall Street Journal. Stop and think of just how much money is sucked up by car wash vacuums each year.
Was this The Source® or Anonymous Masters Employee?
– Brad writes:
I hope this wasn't the insider!
Kinsey:
Talk about a shock last night. I saw this story pop up last night and I figured a few of you would send it in.
NOOOOOO. I promise the guy the Feds popped was not The Source® or AME, but I'd be lying if I didn't take a look at the federal indictment to see what the guy was stealing (allegedly).
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That's it this morning. Let's see how it goes. The post is still packed with nuggets and we can still have a ton of fun. It's just time to dial it in for the rest of 2024.
As I finish up this morning, the sun just came out for what is supposed to be an absolutely beautiful start to the mowing season. We're going to hit the low 70s with blue skies.
May your mowing season be filled with stripes and WIDE OPEN Saturdays.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com