Tiffani Amber Squeezes Into A Tight Dress, MAGA Bikini Congresswoman Recruits AOC & An Insufferable Lib Bride

What a weekend. We're out of it unscathed, and we're better for it. Did y'all get those chores done like I suggested Friday? 

I did. Front yard and backyard got a nice little spring-cleaning yesterday. Little haircut for both, all while smoking some burnt ends on the Traeger with the NASCAR race on the back deck TV. 

This is why I live in Florida, folks. For days like yesterday. Quick mow, little edging (hey now!), couple hits of the Traeger and some burnt pig ass to cap the day. 

You think they were doing that in Europe yesterday? Don't think so. Certainly not in Canada. 

But Florida in March is undefeated. Now, did a tornado touch down not 20 miles from my house this morning? Sure. But, we take the good with the bad. Let's have a week. 

Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we slip into a tight black dress with Tiffani Amber Thiessen, and go from there?

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a loaded weekend of #content (assuming Twitter comes back online at some point today), the AOC-APL mashup we've all been waiting for, and we HAVE to dive into this insane Love is Blind chick who genuinely sounds like maybe the worst human on the planet. 

And buddy, that is a LOADED list. There really ain't nothin' worse than a gaslighting liberal white woman. Gives me the shivers just thinking about them. 

OK, grab you a quick nap for National Napping Day, and then wake up full of piss and vinegar and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

What a way to start the week!

(Before we start, don't yell at me if the Twitter links in here don't work. It ain't OutKick's fault!)

Obviously, this special day is to recover from losing an hour of sleep yesterday. How did y'all feel about the time change? It was great last night. Just the best. Nothing beats daylight at 8 p.m. 

But the mornings? Yeah, they blow. I slept in till 7:30 yesterday, which may as well have been noon in a house with two kids, and it was a struggle to get up again today. It's just pitch-black out until nearly 8 a.m. now. Miserable. 

Luckily for me, our toddler blew right past the time change and still woke up at 7:30 this morning. I was hoping for a few days of 8:30 wake-up calls until her body adjusted, but nope. Same time. Didn't faze her a bit. #Blessed. 

Anyway, on top of me trying to work the percolator in the dark this morning, I also nearly got wiped out by a tornado, which was cool. 

Seriously, this bad boy touched down not 20 miles west of us:

What a weekend of #content!

My God. How about that weatherman, though? Guy is the Scott Hanson of meteorologists. Just stayed calm, cool and collected the whole time (minus some heavy breathing) and told the viewers what was going on. Surprised he didn't ask for the octobox at some point. 

I miss Red Zone. Is it September yet? Sad. But hey! We do get the start of NFL free agency this week! That's a mini-Christmas. 

Love this time of year for the league. New year starts Wednesday, draft next month, schedule release, OTAs, mini-camp, training camp, and then, mercifully, Week 1. 

Quick pulse check before the #content? 181 days till opening day. It's a marathon, boys and girls, not a race. Hang tight. 

OK, NOW it's time for the best #content from a big weekend chock-full of it:

What a duo, Love is Blind & Tiff Ann!

Whew. What a weekend! And what a damn TIME I had putting all of that together, given that Twitter was down most of the day. 

Hey, Elon – WAKE UP and fix it. And, while you're at it, maybe get Tesla back on track so I can look at my portfolio without dry-heaving. 

Kidding. I know we were hacked. Probably the damn Ukranians. Or Canadians. Or both!

Now, a couple of thoughts, as always …

1. My Angel Reese stuff from over the weekend went viral, mainly because Clay got involved and really fired up the internet:

Y'all think Angel Reese sitting out would force the WNBA – a league that has literally never made a single dime of profit – to come to the negotiating table? Can't wait to find out!

2. My kids will never, ever go to public school. And I live in FLORIDA. What a cesspool. 

3. The ass-flashers from the college game on Saturday? LOVE that energy. It's why college baseball deserves more attention. Go Chanticleers! 

PS: this kid is going places:

OK, let's rapid-fire this Monday class into a Monday Happy Hour at the Applebee's down the road. 

First up? This chick was all over my Twitter this weekend – back when it worked/wasn't hacked – and I still can't get enough of her. 

What a pistol:

My God. This has to be the absolute worst human on earth, right? Her smug little smile while she's virtue-signaling to his face at the altar? That's what really gets me. 

"We'll see … we'll see." 

Hey, Sara – you're a freakshow and literally the reason Trump won reelection. This is the Dems in a nutshell. Right here. This Ben fella dodged such a bullet it's not even funny. Biggest bullet dodged since Butler last July. 

And by the way – and I've said this for years now – this wacko doesn't believe a thing she just said. Not a single thing. It's all virtue-signaling. It's all gaslighting. It's all for the cameras, and it's straight out of the Dem playbook. 

They lie when the cameras are on, and stop giving a shit the second they turn off. It's clockwork. 

Poor Ben just lives his life, blissfully unaware of the lunacy from the left, and this chick can't take it. She cannot accept the fact that he doesn't pay attention to their bullshit, and it eats her alive. 

All that being said … might be a smokeshow. Might. 

Oh well. Too bad. Enjoy your gay church, Sara!

Next? Let's check in with Nightcaps regular, MAGA bikini congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna, and lefty lunatic AOC!

That's our girl! See? This is called diplomacy, folks. Extending a hand across the aisle for the greater good. Do I have any idea if capping interest rates on credit cards is a good thing? Nope. But if Anna Paulina Luna says it's a good thing, it's a good thing. 

And hey … Twitter started working again just now! Just in time for me to quickly copy and paste my favorite tweet from the weekend:

Not the worst idea I've seen. Glad Twitter is back, though, so we can start getting some real insight again! Phew. 

Finally, let's check in on Tiffani Amber, who celebrated International Women's Day over the weekend by showing us all that she very much still has her fastball at 51. 

Take us into Player's week, Nelly!

Welcome back to class, Tiffani! That's our girl. Still cranking out drinks AND #content at 51. Nobody does it better. What a career arc for Kelly Kapowski. 

PS: nothing beats a good, solid hot toddy. Great for when you're sick, too. Win-win! 

OK, that's it for today. A bit bumpy, but we made it. What a ride. 

Happy Players week to all who celebrate. Take us home Nelly – and amateur Tiger!

See you Wednesday. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You ever have to deal with an insane liberal white chick like Ben? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.

Written by
Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.