The Wokes Are Miserable, Study Finds -- I've Never Trusted A Study More Than I Trust This One

In a new study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, researchers have determined that there's a "negative correlation between progressive ideals and levels of happiness." 

Translation: The blue-haired lesbians screaming over dudes with dongs being allowed to destroy biological women in sports and guys like ESPN's Mark Jones crusading against cops are miserable.  

I agree. Never in doubt. When I say I've never trusted a study any more than I trust this study, I'm not just blowing smoke. 

The wokes are actually miserable, a new Finnish study finds. / Getty Images

The study released last week centered on Finnish wokes at the University of Turku in Turku, Finland, a city of 200k that's a nine-hour bike ride (save the environment!) west of Helsinki. 851 of the 5,000 wokes studied came from the university. 

Researchers found seven "truisms" of the Finnish wokes:

• "If white people have on average a higher level of income than black people, it is because of racism."
• "University reading lists should include fewer white or European authors."
• "Microaggressions should be challenged often and actively."
• "Trans* women who compete with women in sports are not helping women’s rights." (reverse scored)
• "We don’t need to talk more about the color of people’s skin."
• "A white person cannot understand how a black person feels equally well as another black person."
• "A member of a privileged group can adopt features or cultural elements of a less privileged group." (reverse scored)

And you'll never guess which Finnish gender believes in being woke as gospel: Women! 

"The gender divide was probably most surprising to me," the lead researcher, Oskari Lahtinen, a senior researcher at the INVEST Research Flagship Centre at the University of Turku told PsyPost. "Three out of five women view ‘woke’ ideas positively, but only one out of seven men. This was the case in Finland, at least."

If you think woke white women (like those on The View) seem ultra-angry, Okari's study suggests that's not your imagination at work. 

"Lahtinen found a correlation between higher agreement with critical social justice attitudes and increased reports of anxiety and depression. Agreement with the statement ‘If white people have on average a higher income than black people, it is because of racism’ exhibited the largest positive correlation with anxiety and depression, and the largest negative correlation with happiness," PsyPost reported. 

There you have it, ladies. If you find yourself screaming over saving the environment, saving the world from white men, claiming you're going to jail people for using gas lawn mowers (a white woman was pushing such legislation in Washington) and bitching about random things like outdoor pizza oven smoke blowing into your windows, you have a happiness problem. 

Don't take my word for it. Listen to the Finnish researchers that spent research dollars on a study. I trust them. 

Now, go fill out an OutKick Woke All-Star Challenge bracket. It'll make you happy.