The Undertaker Saves His Wife From A Shark, Rex Ryan May Subscribe To Carmen Electra’s OnlyFans, Anthony Davis Can’t Box And Megan Fox Gets Inked
Hey, welcome to Nightcaps. A very '90s version of Nightcaps that is.
And don't act like that's a bad thing.
We're getting nostalgic today and talking (mostly) all things '90s. That means The Undertaker's going to get us started - which, admittedly, is odd, being that Undertakers usually finish things. But, whatever. It's my column, not the Dead Man's.
Oh, and we're going to talk Carmen Electra and Rex Ryan too. We'll also mix in some MLB All-Star chatter centering around the league's very un-'90s uniform decision. And we'll throw a jab at Anthony Davis (born in, wait for it...1993).
The only thing we're missing is Carson Daly on TRL and carpenter jeans!
The Undertaker Scared Away A Shark
If you haven't heard, sharks are dominating the summer. Those pain in the asses are popping up all over the place and ruining vacations. But try as they may, they were not going to ruin the vacation of former WWE superstar, The Undertaker, nor his wife.
'Taker (real name The Undertaker. Just kidding, it's Mark Calaway) and his wife, Michelle McCool-Calaway, had a shark nearby while enjoying the water. Actually, it was just Michelle who was enjoying the world's largest toilet when she spotted the Jaws-wannabe and shot her husband a text.
That's when 'Taker made his way to the water and stared down the shark until it swam away.
Death stare. You just can't teach it. Not even at those fancy wrestling schools in Florida.
And I'm pretty sure just staring down a shark like you would Triple H (assuming you're a 6'10 professional wrestler), isn't usually enough to get the predator to continue finding Nemo. Nor is it recommend, that I know of. But, if the shoe fits...
Oh, by the way, Michelle is former wrestler too. And she doubles as a smokeshow.
MLB All-Star Game Uniforms...Gross
Professional wrestling was super cool in the '90s. We had DX, matches that had divas wearing only bras and underwear, that whole WCW craze and an abundance of Slim Jim commercials with the Macho Man. And, for the record, I'll always refer to it as the WWF.
Anyways, you know what else was super cool around the same time Clear Pepsi was? The MLB All-Star Game. Not only were big leaguers like Ken Griffey Jr., Frank Thomas and Mike Piazza regulars, but we could easily identify them. That's because they wore their team's standard uniform. There was nothing cooler than seeing the entire American League in their home whites while the NL rocked the road greys. It was unique, yet simple.
But, since the MLB hates its fans and wants to make a few extra bucks, they scrapped that idea. This year, the All-Stars wore dark blue (National League) and teal (American League) unis in an ode to the host city, Seattle. Even their lids were scrapped for Seattle-themed ones. The uniforms were gross, dumb and unneeded.
Don't take my word for it, take the word of 99% of social media.
Your move, Manfred.
Carmen Electra Dishes On OnlyFans...Where's Rex?
Don't mind the Limp Bizkit playing in the background. Oh, you guys can't hear that? Anyways, if you haven't noticed, we're still keeping it '90s. Afterall, you gotta have faith, right?
And there's arguably no one more '90s than the former Mrs. Dennis Rodman, Carmen Electra. If you missed it, Carmen's keeping her face (and everything else) out there via OnlyFans. Yesterday, she revealed what fans of her OnlyFans work most want to see.
And, spoiler alert, Rex Ryan just might be one of those fans...
“It’s funny to me because I get a lot of requests for my feet, and it cracks me up,” Electra told Fox News Digital. “People want to see feet.”
Holy Rex Ryan. Our guy better go get a damn snack!
"There's just this wild obsession with feet," Carmen Electra continued. "So, of course. Yes, OK, great; do you want to see my feet? I'll just grab my phone."
I mean, to each their own, but I'm just not a foot guy. Electra has plenty of other assets that I assume would make for better requests...
Since we're still here and still talking '90s, OutKick's Sean Joseph shared news last week that Electra recently teamed up with another '90s legend, Jenny McCarthy, for a bikini carwash.
Anthony Davis Should Put The Gloves Down
Oft-injured Lakers center Anthony Davis is technically a '90s child, but if you didn't know that, you'd for sure think he's part of Gen Z. Davis has talent, no doubt. But I've got pillows harder than AD. LeBron's sometimes sidekick stepped into a boxing ring this week and fortunately for us, and unfortunately for him, cameras were rolling.
Mike Tyson, he is not.
AD looks almost as bad as this pair of fans that Nightcaps reader Duncan caught while attending a Charleston Riverdogs baseball game (TB Rays affiliate) last week.
Yep, that would be a Bam Adebayo Team USA jersey on the left and a Patrick Willis 49ers jersey on the right. The Riverdogs, mind you, are based in South Carolina. So not only are these fans rocking non-baseball jerseys at a...wait for it - baseball game - they're doing so with two athletes that have no known ties to South Carolina.
Shame on them.
*As always, if you've got pics of weird jerseys in even weirder places, send them my way: anthony.farris@outkick.com or on Elon's baby, @OhioAF.
In other words, if there's a Reggie White Carolina Panthers (you didn't forget that the Minister of Defense was a Panther, did you?) jersey draped over the shoulders of your neighborhood sues chef, I want to see it.
Man Chops Off Penis, Flushes It Down The Toilet
How about that headline? Probably couldn't write that in the '90s. Or maybe you could, but I was too busy playing Game Boy to know. Besides, I needed to keep up with this whole '90s theme, so cut me some slack.
Or just be like Joey Gladstone and cut-it-out.
Whatever.
The Daily Mail, told the story of the 52-year-old now penisless man:
A schizophrenic man chopped off his penis with a kitchen knife and then flushed it down the toilet.
Sharing gory details of the incident in a medical journal, surgeons in India told how the unidentified 52-year-old was left with a stump.
The man, who had stopped taking his medication, didn't turn up to hospital until 16 hours after amputating himself.
Bet that crazy guy wouldn't have cut off his piece had he got a glimpse of Carmen Electra. Or at least her feet.
Megan Fox Hides Brian Austin Green, Not Much Else
Actress Megan Fox, better known to some (not me) as the fiance of Machine Gun Kelly, is also in the process of removing something, or at least covering it up.
Fox was previously married to actor Brian Austin Green of Beverly Hills 90210 fame (hey, didn't that air in the '90s?). During their marriage Fox had Brian's name tattooed on her pelvis. Being that she's now engaged to a different man, she - and probably her fiance - no longer want to see her ex-husband's name serving as a road map to Pound Town.
Tattoo artist @jesse.tattoo (Instagram) shared that they've covered up Fox's previous tattoo of Brian's name with some flowers.
Per Jesse's IG caption:
Coverup tattoo for @meganfox 🐍
Was able to completely hide the old tattoo underneath the new snake and flowers she wanted… very grateful for all of the opportunity tattooing has given me and all of the cool people I’ve met along the way ✌️
Thanks for your trust @meganfox ✨
Now, you're probably thinking, 'umm...where's a photo of either tattoo, new or old?'. Good question. Well, I'm just going to drop a link here because the IG picture gets awfully close to Ms. Fox's nether regions, so much so, that I'm surprised the AI bots over at Instagram allowed it to be posted.
Since the best I could offer was a hyperlink, here's some Fox pics to hold you over, animals.
Until Next Wednesday...
Alright, that's all I got. Hope you enjoyed the trip down Memory Lane. But before I exit, I'll leave you with a few snacks to keep in your fanny packs.
*OutKick’s Nightcaps is a daily column that runs weekdays around 4pm EST.
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