The Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs Will Give You A Holiday Hangover | Mike Gunzelman
One of the best parts of the holiday season is the Christmas tunes and music. Whether it's the classics like Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" or more recent ones like Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" we all know the songs, for better or worse.
But rather than getting into a debate about what the best holiday songs are - in true OutKick fashion I decided to go against what everyone else is doing, and list my top 5 worst Christmas songs. I will also share some choices from the OutKick faithful.
So sit back, drink your coffee or beer, and whatever you do, do not play any of these songs on your Spotify!
5. LAST CHRISTMAS - WHAM
I'm starting things off with a hotter take than your mom's famous hot chocolate here with this one.
I truly, truly, trulllly can not stand "Last Christmas."
WHAM's version especially is one that immediately just gets me screaming "NO!" from the opening notes. The overall 80's vibe of the song, people bobbing their heads back and forth is just so cringe.
Every year I hope it's the Last Christmas that the song is played, but unfortunately it never is.
4. DOMINICK THE DONKEY - VARIOUS ARTISTS
This shouldn't come as a shocker to anyone for one simple reason: Any song that includes a "Hee-Haw, Hee-Haw" donkey sound in it most likely stinks like manure.
Italians gave us pizza, chicken parmigiana and inspired The Godfather, there's zero reason for them to ruin that by introducing Dominick to the world.
3. LITTLE DRUMMER BOY - VARIOUS ARTISTS
Come they told me... blah-blah-blah-blah-blahhhhhhh.
The Little Drummer Boy starts out fine at first until you realize it's never going to end. The repetitive nature of it, the fact that nobody knows anything besides the first verse and the chorus repetition is worst than a binge-drinking hangover.
2. SANTA BABY - EARTHA KITT
The creepy, seductiveness of this song literally drives me nuts.
The tone of it resembles a Stage 5 clinger that you just know is bad news.
If I'm Santa and I'm coming down a chimney and this is being told to me, I'm getting the hell out of that house immediately and may even consider retirement.
Eartha Kitt's version is one of the most popular but honestly all of them are terrible.
1. WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME - PAUL MCCARTNEY
This song is so bad that it almost jeopardized Paul McCartney's legacy as a Beatle in many people's eyes. (Not to mention the creepy, over-the-top smiling video)
I urge you to seriously listen to this song and join me in unison when I say "W..T...F."
What is the point of the Space Invaders / Atari sound effects?
The timing and beat of the song is absolutely off and it's like they cut and pasted it while tripping on Acid. (Maybe they were?)
Just wait until you get to 1:38 into the song and angels randomly start singing "Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong" and then McCartney joins in for some reason with some "Do-Do's."
OUTKICK READERS RESPONSES
Fortunately for me I'm not alone on my worst Christmas and holiday song rankings.
And perhaps the best comment of them all because football rivalries don't stop even if it is Christmas time...
HOW'D I DO? WHICH SONGS WOULD YOU ADD / TAKE OFF THE LIST?
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