The Rock Visits In-N-Out For The First Time Again, Pop-Tart Memes, NYE Hangover Cures & Why I Hate Bowling
Last night I was on the brink of a come-to-Jesus moment.
Yesterday we took a little day trip into Wisconsin to eat cheese sandwiches at Baumgartner and stock up on Spotted Cow (if you know, you know).
So when we got back to the house and settled in to watch the Jets get pounded by sleepy Joe Flacco, I found myself headed to pour a little nightcap.
That's when it hit me.
There I stood — full of bread and cheese —in front of my father-in law's wine cabinet. I suddenly felt guilty about spending the last week and a half acting like calories and responsibilities don't exist. Maybe we don't need to break out the wine tonight. Maybe we should go ahead and get a jump on that "new year, new me" thing.
But then I snapped out of it. You know why? Because I'm not a quitter.
Monday will come soon enough. I'll be headed back to Tennessee, back to chicken and vegetable meal prep, back to torturing myself daily in the gym, back to working from my home office instead of this cozy recliner.
Until then, though, it's my duty (and yours) to send off 2023 in a blaze of glory.
So grab your cocktail of choice. Hell, grab two. It's Nightcaps time!
The Rock Tries In-N-Out For The First Time For The Third Time
No, that's not a typo.
You know who else isn't sticking to his diet during the final days of 2023? Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson isn't!
This week, the wrestler turned actor went to In-N-Out Burger for the very first time! And he celebrated by posting this heavily edited highlight video on Instagram.
The Rock snagged himself three burgers and three orders of fries for his cheat meal. He made a mistake by not getting them "animal style," but we'll give him a break since it was his first time.
"I didn't know the lingo, I didn't know who to pay, where to pay, didn't know sh-t," he wrote.
Sir, this is a drive-thru fast food restaurant — not brain surgery. But again, it was his first time!
Or was it?
After some research, we have determined Dwayne Johnson is a dirty rotten liar. He has, in fact, eaten In-N-Out before.
Check out this August 2022 post where he enjoyed a couple Double-Doubles and fries then washed them down with Teremana Tequila (his own brand).
Oh, but that's not all, Nightcaps readers!
Let's travel all the way back 2017— when Donald Trump was president and the New England Patriots were good at football.
What is that, you see? Oh just Dwayne Johnson with his liar liar pants on fire sitting at the In-N-Out drive thru!
I'm never going to be able to trust anything The Rock — if that's even his real name — says ever again. What's next? You're going to tell me Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle didn't actually happen?!
For real, though. What an absolutely bizarre thing to lie about.
But while were' on the topic of junk food...
The Pop Tart Bowl Mascot Stole America's Heart
Last night, we were all treated to the greatest college football bowl game of all time.
Who played? Can't remember. Who won? Don't care.
Because the greatest player on the gridiron wasn't wearing a helmet and pads. Nope. He was wearing leggings and a Pop-Tart costume.
A quick pause for my top-five Pop-Tart flavors:
I'll clarify these were my favorites as a child. As an adult, I'd probably pass out in a sugar coma.
Anyway, a giant Pop-Tart marched right into Orlando's Camping World Stadium Thursday night, stole the show and won the hearts of all of America. Even if you don't care about football at all, you undoubtedly heard about the breakfast pastry that changed the world.
Brandon here sums it up best.
The memes were ELITE. And they're still rolling in.
And they did.
They toasted our brave, frosted hero. And they devoured him on the field.
Goodbye Pop-Tart. Your life was short, but your legacy will live on forever.
And now for something even more random than a life-sized Pop-Tart.
Bowl Games Are Fine, Bowling Is Awful
I said it. Bowling is awful — probably the worst pastime ever. And I have compiled a comprehensive list of reasons why.
It is painfully boring.
We've all been there. Someone in your friend group decides it would be fun to do a group activity that doesn't involve drinking beer and staring at a TV.
So you all go to the bowling alley, type hilarious nicknames for each other in the monitor and get super competitive for a couple rounds. Then, everyone's over it. And the one responsible friend is herding cats,
Who's turn is it? Oh, we gotta wait until Andy gets out of the bathroom. Where's Sarah. Will someone bowl for Sarah?
And you all just end up sitting there, drinking beer and staring at a TV.
It's boring even if you're good at it.
You ever watch professional bowlers. Those guys (and gals) are almost automatic.
That's because it's the same shot every single time. Imagine an NBA game that is just teams shooting free throws back and forth. Or an NFL competition that's just professional kickers taking turns with 15-yard chip shots.
SNOOZE.
Bowling alleys are depressing.
And I'm not talking about these newfangled hipster arcade bars that charge $18 for a vodka soda and have a couple bowling alleys in the back. I'm talking about actual bowling alleys.
These places are full of either adults staring blankly ahead or kids running around screaming. Both groups are totally bored with bowling.
From the bad lighting to the crappy music to the wildly-patterned carpet that hasn't been changed or cleaned since 1993, it's just not a good atmosphere.
The food sucks.
I know, I know. You aren't going bowling to experience Michelin Star cuisine. But it should at least be edible. It's not.
One rubbery, day-old pizza slice, some nacho cheese we squeezed out of a tube and a lukewarm Coors Light? That'll be $30.
Sharing shoes is gross.
I don't even need to elaborate on this. That stuff the teenage employees haphazardly spray on the shoes to give you the illusion of cleanliness ain't cutting it.
Bowling balls are gross.
OK, think about it. If they haven't even vacuumed the carpet in days, do you think the bowling alley employees are going around wiping out those little finger holes with sanitizing wipes?
Absolutely not.
Everyone is sticking their unwashed, nacho cheese fingers in those bowling balls, and they've never, ever been cleaned. Ever. Enjoy your Staph infection.
I know, I know. You're probably like, OK Amber. Who hurt you? No one. I just hate bowling.
Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
How To Cure Your NYE Hangover
Sunday is New Year's Eve — a big party night for a lot of people.
Whether you're out at the bars, watching the ball drop in Times Square or (my personal favorite) drinking champagne in your living room, it's all fun and games until that Monday hangover hits.
New year, tired you.
But fear not! I have aggregated a list of handy hangover cures to help you start 2024 on the right foot. Or at least with just a mild headache.
First, there's this TikToker, Chloe Ellen, who claims that cucumbers are the magic cure for hangovers. Just eat half of a raw pickle before you go out drinking and the other half before bed.
For the record, cucumbers are about 96% water. So I'm not saying Chloe is wrong. I'm just saying maybe a few glasses of H2O during your night out might have the same effect.
From my personal experience, the absolute best way to shake a hangover is to go for a run. I know cardio is the last thing you want to do when you wake up in a champagne fog, and you probably want to punch me in the face for even suggesting it. But I'm telling you: Sweat it out. You'll feel miserable for 30 minutes, but you'll thank me later.
Just in case you hate exercise and cucumbers, though, I've thoughtfully polled the OutKick audience to get their surefire remedies.
I really appreciate all the replies telling me "just don't drink."
Thank you, smart guys. You are correct that the best way to avoid a hangover is to not drink. In related news, the easiest way to clean your house is to hire a maid, the best way to save money on dog food is to buy a cat and the most effective form of birth control is celibacy.
Now that we have that cleared up, here are some suggestions for the non-sober.
Disclaimer for legal purposes: I'm just sharing reader feedback. OutKick is not responsible for poor decisions you may or may not make this weekend.
I was today years old when I learned menudo was a soup before it was a boy band.
Anyway, when all else fails, hair of the dog.
And in case you need some extra motivation headed into the new year, I'll leave you with these inspiring words of wisdom.
Finish strong, everyone. I'll see you on the other side.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.