The 2024 NFL Draft WAG Class Is Loaded, Gisele Cries After Getting Pulled Over & SI Swimsuit Rook Goes Topless
Here we are – the day. The one we've talked about for months. Written about for a year. Mocked, mocked, mocked, and then mocked some more just for good measure.
The day when boys become men, and men scream at the TV.
The 2024 Zurich Classic is upon us!
Didn't see that one coming, did ya? Like Sonny Weaver, I'm throwing curveballs today while you guys are looking for heaters down the cock.
Yes, it's finally Draft Day. A great day, and – despite what David Hookstead says – an even better movie. Frankly, it's one of the best sports movies of all time. That's not shtick. It's not a bit. It's a fact.
- Remember the Titans
- Draft Day
- Moneyball
- Rookie of the Year
That's it. That's the Mount Rushmore. It ain't up for debate, so don't bother debating. Like Caleb Williams to the Bears at No. 1 in a few hours, the ink is already dry.
On that note, welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we break down the WAGs of the NFL Draft because it's their night, too. We dipped our toe in yesterday with Caleb's girlfriend, but today we're gonna dive the hell in head first.
You know why? Because, ladies and gentlemen, Instagram embeds are BACK at OutKick. That's right. We got him!
Our national nightmare is over, and just in time, too, because the NFL Draft WAGs are loaded with Instagram content. Seriously, this class is the best we've seen since the historic 1984 one. It's insane.
Brock Bowers' lady, I believe, will steal hearts and win the day, but we shall see.
What else do y'all wanna talk about as we all collectively kill time until Roger gets booed off the Detroit stage?
How about Gisele getting pulled over in Miami and crying? Sure, why not? She's a former NFL WAG, so she deserves some shine today, too.
We've also got a new No. 1 overall pick over in the SI Swimsuit department that's earning some huge praise, UFOs above NYC, and a special throwback to the Browns drafting Johnny Manziel in honor of former Nightcaps teacher, Anthony Farris.
Whew. What a slate!
Grab a beer for Bo Callahan since nobody went to his birthday party, and settle in for an NFL Draft Day 'Cap!
Brock Bowers and Rose Newell are ready for NFL stardom
Hookstead wrote about Draft Day this morning, and he was mostly right. Yes, it's an electric movie. One of the best. He's right there.
But he then goes on to mock it because it's "not believable."
Excuse me? What the hell? You don't think the Cleveland Browns wished they took this approach with Johnny Manziel back in the day?
Not saying Johnny would've done that, but I'm also not saying he wouldn't have, either. Let's be honest, we all know the answer.
Bet these Browns fans wished they knew a decade ago, too:
But they didn't, because they didn't do their homework like the Redskins or Sonny Weaver. Not believable? Come on, Hook. You're better than that.
Anyway, you know who 100 percent would read that playbook from start to finish? Brock Bowers and his Tennessee girlfriend, Rose Newell:
Who can forget about the OG, Katya Kuropas, and JJ McCarthy?
Welcome back, Instagram! And welcome to class, Rose!
Next?
While Brock is slated to go somewhere inside the top-15ish – perhaps the Jets (yuck) – Michigan QB JJ McCarthy is all over the damn board. Minnesota? New England? Denver? THE CHARGERS???
Well, maybe not that last one – at least according to Schefty, who took a blowtorch to his network's own betting odds yesterday:
Is this some sort of gimmick? Um … yes, of course it is, Schefty! Tell me you've never placed a bet in your life without telling me. That's Vegas 101. And guess what? I'm the dummy who would 100 percent bite on inflated odds that Justin Herbert gets traded just because I can throw $5 at it and possibly make $1,500.
Anyway, back to JJ McCarthy …
We all know about his now-fiancee, Katya Kuropas, by now. OutKick spotted Katya 18 months ago when she was going viral during Michigan's CFB semifinal loss to TCU, and she's been part of the family ever since.
Frankly, she's the Katherine Webb of this generation. True story.
Izzy and Bo Nix are NFL Draft sleepers
Can't believe Katya's graduating class today. Seems like just yesterday that she was going viral with JJ's dad on ESPN. And now, she's about to be an NFL WAG.
Time flies!
Well, maybe for regular college folks … but not for Bo Nix.
Can't believe he's actually done with school. Do you realize how long Bo Nix was a college quarterback for? Guys … he started as a true freshman for Auburn … in 2019!
Twenty. Nineteen. It's 2024. That's insane.
He played against Tua. He played against Justin Herbert. He played in FIVE bowl games. We also share the same birthday, which I just found out. So, that's cool.
Hell, he's so old that Izzy Nix puts the W in WAG. The guy is married! And you know what? Izzy Smoke Nix may just be the coolest damn name this draft has entire seen.
Caleb Williams rounds out our WAG mock draft
Seriously, is there a more college football name than Izzy Smoke Nix? I like Bo. He's no Bo Callahan, but I think he has a shot to make it in the NFL. Seriously.
He's a billion, so that's working against him, but he's also wise beyond his years and won't be out doing stupid things with Izzy keeping him in check. He just feels like a Sean Payton QB, doesn't he?
Let's hope Sean sticks to his guns and goes with the grown-up, just like Sonny did with Vontae Mack.
Vontae Mack no matter what.
And don't you forget it!
Fine, that's the last Draft Day clip, I promise.
Before we rapid-fire this class into the Bears being on the clock, let's end the WAG showcase by revisiting Caleb Williams and Valery Orellana, who I still suspect will be the ones who go viral tonight.
Gisele pulled over, UFO's in New York & street brawlin'
What a class. It's 1984 stuff, frankly. I still think my final mock draft would look like:
1. Katya Kuropas (she's an OutKick OG and we respect the vets around here)
2. Izzy Smoke Nix (the name alone gets her on the front row)
3. Rose Newell (Tennessee girl with a Georgia boy? There's a country song in there somewhere)
4. Valery Orellana (the wild card of the round for sure)
Can't wait to see which one of these WAGs is the next Gia Duddy. I think we're in for a special night.
OK, rapid-fire time before I go and lock in a couple sure-fire losers for tonight's betting slate.
Side note: how cold am I right now? Had the Braves to score the most runs in one inning against the Marlins last night at +280. They scored two in the first, and led 3-1 in the ninth. Marlins only had TWO hits all night.
They promptly strung together three straight singles, and then an error scored two to tie the game. I lost the bet.
It's honestly impressive at this point how bad I am.
First up? License and registration, Gisele:
From TMZ:
While it seems like a routine traffic stop ... Gisele hands the officer some documents and he heads back to his squad car to run the info -- a pretty standard situation, no real big deal.
However, it appears the stress of the stop might have gotten to GB ... 'cause when the cop comes back and hands her a ticket, she's overcome with emotion -- straight-up bawling and wiping at her face. The guy doesn't really care ... he just goes through the motions.
Look, Gisele – you break the law, you're gonna have to pay. We don't discriminate down here.
And by the way, she must have been really threading the needle to get pulled over by a Florida cop. I'm pretty sure you have to at least be going 85 on the interstate down here to even get their attention. Sometimes, though, the leash snaps and you have to face the music.
If only she had a famous husband to get her out of it. Oh well.
Next? Nothing to see here!
Can we just go ahead and peel back the entire curtain on the UFO/alien thing at this point? I mean, it's pretty damn obvious. Just rip off the band-aid and tell us how screwed we all are. We can take it, I promise.
Speaking of band-aids … let's stay in the Big Apple and check out the beautiful streets!
Sports Illustrated's newest rookie takes us into the NFL Draft
Welcome to Biden's … pause … America!
If I were that UFO flying through New York I'd get the hell out of there as fast as possible and head back to whatever sane planet I came from. You don't want anything to do with us at the moment, I promise.
OK, that's enough for today. Whew. What a class. Welcome back, Instagram!
To celebrate, here's SI's newest rookie, DJ Xandra Pohl, taking us into a big night.
Let's roll.
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
What's your NFL Draft WAG mock draft look like? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.