Texas Rangers Dugout Dancers Love America & Baseball, Dan Campbell Corn Maze & Buy Happy's Jersey
Obituary of the Century…maybe the wildest obituary of all-time
Beau in Toledo sent this to me.
https://www.wkbn.com/my-valley-tributes/oak-meadow-cremation/albert-walter-sumell-jr-warren-ohio/
Here's a snippet from the obit:
Albert "Alby" Walter Sumell, Jr. jumped off a bridge, watched Jackie Robinson play baseball at Ebbets field, beat a top ranked Russian in chess, saved a child who fell through ice, looked up girls’ skirts during church services, stole a horse and tried to escape over the Brooklyn Bridge, was caught and sent to William E. Grady Vocational High School where he was beaten up by a mobster’s kid but didn’t give up his name, joined the Navy at age 16, qualified for submarine school, served on USS Trumpetfish 425 on which he fired torpedoes that were empty because he and the boys drank the "torpedo juice" (which was pure alcohol), lost something that he never got back in Cuba to a lady named Baby Santos, lost his leg when he was hit by a bus while riding a motorcycle in Charleston, South Carolina, became the original Fat Albert in a VA rehab facility in Philadelphia, appeared in a film shot in the Philippines alongside his best friend at the time, the actor Peter Duel, went to the Belgian Congo to help amputees and left a local hero, slept with approximately 520 women (the number of "weekends in a decade") including Ms. Breezy Point, Ms. Shelter Island, and three different Maureen Redmans, then fell in love with a girl named Marie Anne Ellis, saved her from drowning and beat up her boyfriend…
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I did a Google Search to make sure we're not being fooled by a fake obit. Albert was definitely a resident of Youngstown. What a life!
Golf caddie stories from Screencaps readers
- F McD. shares:
I used to volunteer every year at an LPGA major in Wilmington DE. Every year all of the volunteers got matching polo shirts. One year they were bright red.
That year I was dating a Filipina who's dad was a golf nut, so I resolved to get an autograph from Jennifer Rosales, who at the time was the best (maybe only?) Filipina golfer on the tour. One afternoon when not working, I didn't know exactly where she was on the back nine but figured if I started at the 18th green and worked backwards, I'd find her and follow her in. I forget what hole it was, but I found her while she was getting ready to tee off and I was down the fairway around where the tee shots would land, so stopped and waited.
After she reached her ball and hit her approach shot, her caddie walked over to me and gave me a ball from her bag saying "You made a terrific aiming point with that red shirt!"
I followed the group in, and Jennifer signed the ball for me, and I won BIG brownie points with both my girlfriend and her Dad.
- Tyler emails:
Here's a fun book about caddying. I read it about 20 yrs ago.
https://www.amazon.com/Whos-Your-Caddy-Looping-Reprobates/dp/0767917405
Finding your healing waters this summer
- Indy Daryl writes:
When I married my wife I had no idea that her family had a cabin in northern Wisconsin. Her grandma’s dad homesteaded the plot of land in 1925 and the cabin we currently go to was built in 1933 (after the first burnt down).
It’s up here about 45 minutes south of Lake Superior, and it has been my favorite place in the world for the last 16 years. I’ll send a picture of the sauna and grounds later, but Boot Lake is definitely the highlight. We take a nightly cruise around the lake!! Hope you are having a great Friday night!!
![](http://images.outkick.com/static.outkick.com/www.outkick.com/content/uploads/2024/07/668/376/b947d78b-0.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
Have you ever inherited something interesting when you married into the family…no, I don't care how much money you inherited
Indy Daryl's post got me thinking about interesting things that came along with your marriage. NOT MONEY.
While we weren't married, early on in my relationship with Mrs. Screencaps, I learned that she had inherited/volunteered to care for her grandmother's parakeet after she was moved into assisted living.
That damn old bird was psycho. Chirping all night even with a blackout towel over the cage. Meaner than a rattlesnake to me. Just fine to Mrs. Screencaps. I kept my distance.
Fortunately, for our relationship, the bird didn't last long after the stressful move into Mrs. Screencaps' apartment.
I didn't marry into a beautiful lake cottage near Lake Superior, that's for sure.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
The craziest toll costs in the United States
Earlier this week, a reader challenged the Screencaps community to beat his recent toll road experience where it costs more to get out of New Jersey than into New Jersey.
- Pete shares:
Thr greatest disparity in tolls from one direction to another is infinity. The US 301 [Harry Nice] Bridge between Maryland and Virginia. It's free to cross from Virginia to Maryland but it is $6.00 for non-Maryland EZ Pass users to get out of Maryland.
It's more dependent on who owns the bridge. Bridges between entities, the entity to the north [or east] owns the bridge and will typically have the higher toll.
Here we goooooo with sunsets, again
- Voiceover guy Mike L. in California emails:
We just got back from vacation, a nice Mediterranean cruise. We hit Italy, Greece, Malta, and Spain. Got a pretty good sunset shot going through the Strait of Messina. Enjoy the weekend.
![](http://images.outkick.com/static.outkick.com/www.outkick.com/content/uploads/2024/07/668/376/c02e3454-unnamed.png?ve=1&tl=1)
The current state of video games
- Jeremy M. says:
When I was a kid, the games were hard as balls. My folks justified paying $50 in 1990 dollars for a game that these fools on Twitch can beat within 12 minutes.. Going to Toys 'R' Us, no games on the game on the shelf. A card that you could take to the cashier. The cashier would make sure we could buy it until parents were present, as if we were buying cigarettes in a breakfast joint where the kids would pull on the cigarette vending machine handles while we were waiting for our names to be called.
Kinsey:
This email might've been for Zach Dean over at Nightcaps. Oh well, it's Saturday, I let everyone have their say on a Saturday morning before I close down my work week.
Homebrew Bill in Nebraska's next big beer
- He writes:
Raspberry jalapeno blonde and summer IPA will be kegged after vacation and ready about August 1.
Kinsey:
I had a mango habanero beer this summer that I thought might be OK. Nope. I'm out, dawg. The mango part was fine, but habanero aftertaste going down the throat just isn't my form of fun. However, I'm saving those beers for brat baths. All is not lost!
Diamond Head on Oahu
- Tirey checked in earlier this week and forgot to include his photo of the Pacific Ocean:
![](http://images.outkick.com/static.outkick.com/www.outkick.com/content/uploads/2024/07/668/376/408f5034-unnamed-1.png?ve=1&tl=1)
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And with that, my work week is officially over. It's time to turn off the computer and become one with the patio on a BEAUTIFUL Saturday morning. This might actually be the most BEAUTIFUL Saturday morning this summer.
It's 64 & full sun at 8:30 a.m. Heading to the patio right now.
Go have a great weekend.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com