Texas Fan: I Didn't Poop My Pants, It's Coffee

A Texas fan in New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl wants to set the record straight: He didn't s--t himself, it's coffee and his wife IS NOT being aggressive with his anus.

He can explain!

Let the man explain. Innocent until proven guilty.

Corey Elliot, a former sports reporter, according to his bio, claims the video of him with what appears to be the remnants of a wet fart gone wrong is nothing more than a coffee stain on his white pants -- aggressive play wearing those after Labor Day, BTW.

"There is currently a video going viral on the internet of me walking with a brown substance on the back of my white shorts. It was coffee, and it has since been cleaned off. I sat in something in our Lyft," the PR professional tweeted.

Wait, what about that part where it looks like your wife is playing with your butt? That definitely had segments of the Internet confused and looking for context.

"That was the literal moment was telling me I had something on the shorts. We literally just got out of the Lyft," Corey added.

It's unclear how Corey and his team cleaned off the coffee, but later in the day, his boys took a shot of the restored white balance on the shorts.