Taylor Swift Edges Out Vladimir Putin, Barbie And Trump Prosecutors To Be Named Person Of The Year By Irrelevant Magazine

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The wait is over, you can finally relax and get back to living your lives because Time has named its 2023 Person of the Year with none other than Travis Kelce's girlfriend, Taylor Swift, bringing home the 'honor.'

The magazine that dozens of people around the world still read, gives the award that dates back to 1927 to "the person, group or concept that most shaped the headlines, for good or ill." The outlet really stuck to the criteria 85 years ago when it named Adolf Hitler 'Man of the Year' in 1938.

Swift undoubtedly created the most headlines of 2023. Not only did she make the National Football League relevant, but she single-handedly kept the U.S. economy afloat while Joe Biden was learning how to ride a bike.

Taylor Swift is Time Person of the Year for 2023. (Photo by Buda Mendes/TAS23/Getty Images for TAS Rights Management )

Perhaps the pop star's greatest career accomplishment is beating out the other candidates who made Time's shortlist for 2023.

This is not a fake list, these are the eight other candidates who were considered for the award:

Hollywood Strikers: The most entitled people on the face of the planet who made us watch re-runs all year.

Xi Jinping: The Chinese President, as in the guy who runs a communist country.

Sam Altman: The head honcho of all things AI, which ironically could make Time magazine even more irrelevant than it already is.

Trump Prosecutors: I'm honestly stunned this wasn't the 2023 winner. There are employees at Time today who are absolutely fuming over the fact that the former President's prosecutors didn't get their shine.

Donald Trump prosecutors didn't make the cut for Time Person of the Year. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Barbie: This was the highest-grossing film of 2023 but I've yet to see one person say it was a good movie.

Vladimir Putin: It would have been truly unbelievable to see the Russian President get the nod this year after Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was put on the cover a year ago. All those people who definitely know what is happening in Ukraine with their Ukrainian flags in their yards would have lost their collective minds.

King Charles III: I've got nothing bad to say about ol' Charlie. I think he'll be ok losing the award in his castles, plural.

Jerome Powell: The Chairman of the Federal Reserve has had a doozy of a job this year with the cost of eggs and gas going up approximately 797%.

The question I and I'm sure plenty of others had after seeing the shortlist is where is Dylan Mulvaney?Did Time forget about the king of beer and sports bras, or is Time simply too small of a publication to even garner any attention from the man cosplaying as a girl for profit?

Better luck next year, Dylan. Competition will be fierce in 2024 given the election, but let's not count out Mulvaney when brands around the globe are going to continue to crush opportunities for biological women in favor of men.

Follow Mark Harris on X @itismarkharris and email him at mark.harris@outkick.com

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Mark covers all sports at OutKick while keeping a close eye on the world of professional golf. He graduated from the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga before earning his master's degree in journalism from the University of Tennessee. He somehow survived living in Knoxville despite ‘Rocky Top’ being his least favorite song ever written. Before joining OutKick, he wrote for various outlets including SB Nation, The Spun, and BroBible. Mark was also a writer for the Chicago Cubs Double-A affiliate in 2016 when the team won the World Series. He's still waiting for his championship ring to arrive. Follow him on Twitter @itismarkharris.