Underwater Dancer Channels Raygun, Weird But Awesome Sports & Stripper Pole Lady Has Group Chat Buzzing
Happy Monday, Nightcaps faithful. I bet you didn't expect to be seeing me today.
Or maybe you did. But in case you haven't heard, our own Zach Dean just welcomed a new baby boy. So it'll be up to me and honorary Nightcaps writer Matt Reigle to keep you occupied for a couple of weeks.
And what a couple of weeks it will be. Can you believe it's almost September?!
Look, I know Joe Kinsey will probably shame me for not respecting summer, but I think we can all agree that it was really nice having football back this weekend. And if you're living in the fiery-pits-of-hell heat of the South like I am right now, throwing on a hoodie on a crisp, cool morning sounds really nice right about now.
As such, it's that time of year again where I start suddenly being interested in scary movies again (and then subsequently am too afraid to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom).
Last week, I watched Barbarian (2022) and It Follows (2014). Here are my very short, spoiler-free reviews:
Barbarian: Started off promising, got a little "WTF" toward the middle, and by the ending I was laughing at how bad it was. Maybe I'm not artsy enough to appreciate it (we ran into this problem last year when one of y'all told me to watch The Babadook). But hey, at least this flick served as a good reminder not to visit Detroit.
It Follows: Absolute banger of a film. It was more of a thriller, I think, than a horror movie as I wasn't particularly scared. But it stuck with me (no pun intended, if you've seen the movie), and the next day I ended up down a never-ending Reddit rabbit hole of folks discussing how they would defeat the monster if the movie were real. Fantastic. Can't wait for the sequel.
I should be a film critic.
Anyway, if you have strong feelings about either of those movies (or if you want to send me other suggestions), email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com. Just don't try to defend The Babadook. Because I'm not hearing it.
Shoo, now let's get to the fun stuff, shall we? Grab a frosty beverage and kick back. It's Nightcaps time!
Olympic Synchronized Underwater Breakdancing?
Years from now, people won't remember who all medaled at the 2024 Paris Olympics. But they will remember the greatest athlete of our generation: Raygun.
Rachel Gunn, an Australian professional breakdancer, made headlines after scoring zero points in the funniest and most puzzling routine in breakdancing history. Her viral dance has been imitated countless times by TikTok comedians, but I think I've found the best recreation yet.
Kristina Makushenko, a retired four-time world champion in synchronized swimming, performed the infamous Raygun routine — while under water and wearing high heels.
This is probably what I looked like as a little kid when I'd swim to the bottom of the shallow end to fetch the dive rings my parents tossed down there to keep me occupied.
Seriously, though, this is pretty impressive. And apparently, she doesn't only specialize in kangaroo hopping and spinning on the ground.
Y'all, that lady MOONWALKED UPSIDE DOWN IN A POOL! You know the old joke about majoring in "underwater basket weaving" in college? She would actually be excellent at that.
I digress. Back to Raygun.
"It only took me 5 minutes to learn RayGun’s Olympic performance and recreate it underwater! Maybe I can participate in the Olympics in LA 2028," Kristina wrote.
Yeah, that'd be cool — except they eliminated breakdancing from the Summer Games. Raygun was so legendary, they figured no one could ever top her performance. So they said, "Shut it down!"
Meanwhile…
Boring Norm Has Some Solid Ideas For Olympic Sports:
The Olympics needs to bring back tug o'war. And while they are at it, add dodge ball, tag or freeze tag, arm wrestling, and parkour.
Any sport that has a viable professional league should be removed from the Olympics. Soccer, basketball, golf, hockey, men's rugby, et al, all gone! But keep women's rugby sevens because it is amazing.
Amber:
OK, hold the damn phone. I had no idea that tug o'war was an actual Olympic sport. But it sure the heck was. It was at every Summer Olympiad from 1900 to 1920.
And I stand with Boring Norm here: We ABSOLUTELY need to bring this back. Imagine throwing back some beers and watching the U-S-of-A get an Olympic gold in rope tugging! The atmosphere would be electric. They could even do it on a high-rise platform, Squid Game style!
Except maybe do it over a big swimming pool or something so that the only thing waiting for the losers at the bottom is wet shoes and shame …not certain death.
Also, consider this another vote for parkour.
A preview of the gold medal match:
Mike L Has A Good One, Too:
Belt sander racing.
Amber:
I don't know where this particular race is happening, but I'd bet Clay Travis' bank account it's somewhere in the Midwest.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I stumbled upon the annual Tree Mendus Fruit Farm Cherry Seed Spitting Championship on ESPN The Ocho. We were like, "Haha, let's watch this silliness for a few minutes."
We watched the whole thing.
I don't have video of the 2024 contest, but this should give you an idea:
The Hawk Tuah girl could never.
Weigh In: Stripper Pole Lady Divides The Neighborhood Group Chat
Let's get a little group participation here.
And I'll start by saying I love neighborhood drama. I live for it. The Nextdoor app and my suburb's group on Facebook are constant entertainment for me. I mean, sure, sometimes these online communities serve a productive purpose — like when a pet goes missing or if someone needs referrals for a good general contractor.
But most of the time, those groups are just an online bulletin board for people bitching about their neighbors. Case in point…
A post on X has raked up more than 5 million views after a woman shared screenshots from her apartment building's group chat. Apparently, a fella named Robert is not happy about one of the neighbors practicing her — uh — dance routine in her apartment.
"ATTN: the lady on the 3rd floor with a stripper pole in her kitchen.. as much as we enjoy your nightly amateur performances, please keep in mind that you're exposing yourself to minor children who live directly across from you," Robert wrote. "Please have consideration and close your blinds or put some clothes on!!"
Now, I won't lie: After just skimming that first message, I was kind of Team Robert. Would I care if my neighbor was dancing provocatively in her kitchen? No. (Well, unless my husband was sitting by the window with binoculars. And I won't buy that he suddenly took an interest in bird watching.)
But if I had small children who could see her "nightly amateur performances" …then, yeah, I'd probably ask her to close the blinds.
Other neighbors in the chat blasted him for not addressing her privately with his concerns, arguing no one "benefits from this group chat becoming a forum for unfounded accusations and damaging rumors."
But Robert doubled down.
"When you're putting on a full show, naked at night with all of your lights on in front of an open window and you can CLEARLY see there are young kids in front of you, you don't deserve discretion. She knows what she's doing & it's giving pedo vibes."
Robert went on to defend himself — saying he was just giving her the attention she was looking for. He added, "We literally have a video of her spreading her ass cheeks in front of her kitchen window. So please.. this isn't unfounded."
If he was really committed to this complaint, he would have posted the video and REALLY set the group chat on fire!
Send me your thoughts! Was Robert wrong to call her out publicly in the building group chat? Or is that exactly the sort of thing a neighborhood group chat is for? What's the funniest thing you've seen on your local Facebook group? Email me at Amber.Harding@outkick.com!
And while we're at it, let's open the mailbag.
My Sincerest Apologies To Everyone, But Especially Michael F:
Last week, I shared with you some photos of rapper Sexyy Red's new makeup line. The brand features exotic lip gloss flavors, like Bootyhole Brown, Coochie Juice, Gonorrhea and Yellow Discharge, just to name a few.
Michael F writes:
I’ll refrain from greetings, I just puked twice over that NSFW makeup story. That’s all.
At Least Bryan Thought It Was Funny:
Yellow Discharge …HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
I thought she was Sexxy Red, not Slimy yellow. Thanks for the laugh, Amber.
Amber:
Hey, if I had to see it, then so did y'all. We're in this together.
Nightcaps readers are almost as grossed out by the thought of Gonorrhea-flavored lip gloss as they are by mayonnaise. But after talking lots of smack about the condiment last week, I found a few mayo apoloigists in my inbox.
Joe, In Defense Of Mayo:
I was anti-mayo until I was in my early 40s. I agree, the calorie count of mayo costs me multiple beers, and beef is great without mayo. Beers preferred. However, I had to come to terms with my mayo hate eating pomme-frites in Belgium. I had to hang my head in shame, and acknowledge that their mayo-based dip was just damned awesome with frites fried in beef tallow.
I still don’t add it to a sandwich or burger, but I’ve stopped asking for no mayo if it comes by default. I hate that almost all mayos are soybean oil based. To appeal to the Alabama rednecks, I suggest you start a fight about ranch or whatever the crap is they call Alabama white sauce.
Being a yankee, you may have not heard the joke about southern sorority girls… "How do you get a sorority girl to (do something imprudent?) Put ranch on it."
Amber:
I prefer "Midwesterner" over "Yankee," but OK. Also, I went to college in Tennessee, ya know. I was not in a sorority, though. That was a little too expensive for my budget… plus I didn't want to adhere to the dress code.
I'll tell you that story another time.
Mark In Winter Springs Will Follow Mayo Joe Into Battle:
If the mayo wars are still raging, count me on the side of Blue Plate or Duke's, both Southern staples. I put mayo, usually mixed with Tobasco, on almost everything: burgers, hot dogs, fries, fish sticks, chicken fingers, pork, etc.
Mix mayo with about 25% pickle juice and it is super tangy and thin enough to load and use in a squeeze bottle. Use a teaspoonful of mayo instead of milk in scrambled eggs, and they will be silkier and tastier than ever. And for those folks in Alabama, don't forget Big Bob Gibson's famous white Bar-B-Q sauce, another mayo-based treat. Go Gators!
Amber:
Mark, if I put mayo in my husband's scrambled eggs, my next Womansplaining column would be about him filing for divorce.
And Go Vols.
More Mayo Defenders:
As many of you know (because the training is consuming my life), I'm running a Ragnar Relay with Team Screencaps in October. We all have a group chat going, and after last week's mayo-bashing fest in Nightcaps, a couple of my teammates jumped into the GC to set me straight.
Indy Daryl:
1. Mayo is delightful.
2. Mayo is by far my favorite condiment.
3. I don't do it anymore (since I now like mustard), but as a kid I absolutely loved mayo on a hot dog. Would spread it on the bun before the dog went in.
4. Aioli is amazing in all its forms.
Ben D:
All I have to say is peanut butter, banana, and mayo sandwiches are delicious! Not sure about mayo on a hot dog though.
Amber:
I am too disgusted to continue this column.
Motivation Monday: 'Don't Forget To Party'
Just kidding, I can't let you go without introducing you to Manette Baillie from Suffolk, England.
She just celebrated her 102nd (!!!) birthday by jumping out of a plane — and raising more than $13,000 for her favorite charities throughout the UK.
"You must always look for something new," she said. "I was once married to a paratrooper but have never done [a sky-dive] myself."
Baillie is a former World War II cadet with the Women’s Royal Naval Service, and she's always doing really cool sh*t to celebrate another year on earth. On her 100th birthday, she raced a Ferarri at the official track of the British Grand Prix at 130 miles per hour!
Life goals, y'all.
So what are her secrets to longevity?
"Keep busy, be interested in everything, be kind to those around you and let them be kind to you," she advised. "And don’t forget to party."
PUT IT ON A POSTER.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.