Sydney Sweeney Battles The Haters Without A Bra, Patrick Mahomes Is A Faker & Trump's New Hair Rocks America
It's Hump Day, and it's your one-week warning until Christmas. One week. Seven days. One final push to make it count.
Leave it all out on the field, boys and girls. Game on the line, season on the line, one minute left. How are YOU ending 2024? Let's get AFTER it.
Welcome to a Wednesday Nightcaps – the one where we welcome Brooks Koepka's SI model wife, Jena Sims, back to class after a long hiatus and go from there.
Anyone watch The Match last night? I didn't. Admittedly, I didn't even know it was on. Same with something called the Frisco Bowl, which was also apparently on as well. Did you know? I literally saw college football highlights on my Twitter feed this morning and just assumed they were old.
How was there an actual bowl game last night that I didn't know about? Wild. Is this a me-thing or a marketing-thing? Is bowl season early this year? I don't get it. Oh well. Won't happen again.
What else? I've got Trump with a new look heading into 2025, Patrick Mahomes is magically ready to play again after surviving yet another dramatic injury, and Sydney Sweeney continues to battle the online trolls, this time without a bra. Good luck, haters.
What a Hump Day menu!
Grab you some hard candy to celebrate National Hard Candy day like prime Dolly Parton would, and settle in for a Wednesday 'Cap!
Dolly Parton is still the GOAT
Hard candy? Eh. Not for me. Jolly ranchers are the obvious No. 1 here by a long shot, and Werther's OG will always hold a special place in my heart. But all in all? Don't really see the hype.
That being said, Hard Candy Christmas is a banger this time of year, and underappreciated in the pantheon of Christmas songs.
Fine! Mount Rushmore.
1. Literally anything off the Charlie Brown Christmas album (Christmas Time is Here preferably)
2. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (Elmo & Patsy version, obviously, because we're Americans)
3. Merry Christmas From The Family (Robert Earl Keen version, obviously, because we're Americans)
4. Christmas In Hollis (Run DMC's best song by a mile)
No, Hard Candy Christmas doesn't quite make the list, but it's close. I'd also put Pretty Paper on there, but I don't consider that purely a Christmas song, so it misses the cut. Great song, though.
OK, where was I? Oh yeah! Dolly!
Rate Trump's new hair
See? Banger. Does Dolly still have it, or what? Legend.
Speaking of putting out heaters in your 70s, anyone here see Donald J. Trump's new hair yesterday? What a pistol.
I wrote about it this morning because I'm a Patriot, but for those who weren't up at 6:30, the president-elect rocked the internet with a slick new haircut.
Now, there is debate about what exactly is going on here … is it a new look, or just your classic case of golfer's hair?
I think I'm in that camp as of this class, but I'm not 100 percent sure yet. What do y'all think?
Sid the Kid, Pat Mahomes & underrated Christmas villains
Electric. What a way to end 2024.
Now, as much as I'd like to think Trump completely changed his hair 30 days before retaking the White House, it's far more plausible that he just came in from a long 18, took his hat off like any golfer with an ounce of respect would do, and the media just happened to be rolling film right after. We've all been there.
It's also a billion degrees in Florida this week, so I'd imagine our next president worked up a decent sweat in that covered moss, too. That would explain the slicked-back look we're seeing.
In any event, I'm all in. Let's end strong – both in 2024 AND in this class.
Speaking of … rapid-fire time! First up? Sydney Sweeney continues to fight back after internet trolls called her fat earlier this week:
My God. That number you see right above would be 1.8 million – as in likes on that heater of a photo. Did Sydney come out swinging or what?
It all stems from losers on the World Wide Web saying she was something called "mid" after this picture started making the rounds last weekend:
What a world. My God. People who don't think Sid the Kid is hot are the same ones who claim they wouldn't hit on Brittany Mahomes at a bar.
They're all liars. Guys are nothing if not horny and predictable. I should know – I am one, and I am both. That's why I scooped up the First Lady when I could!
Next? Screencaps' SeanJo has been on this train for years now, and I'm all in now, too: I am DONE with Patrick Mahomes faking a major injury every single year, only to magically come back the next game (or the next drive) as if he's some hero who is playing through the pain.
He's not. He's all bark, no bite. He's full of shit, and I'm convinced of it after his latest stunt:
Like clockwork. Every single year. Mahomes gets hurt, makes a huge scene, limps and waddles off the field, his return is "seriously in doubt," and then BAM – he's back just like nothing happened.
And by the way, we've all done it. Hell, I made a living out of this in high school. Play up an injury to lower expectations, and then you look like an absolute warrior and a hero when you magically return and play great.
How in the hell do you think I played DIII baseball?! It's called chess, not checkers.
Finally, this little tweet got me thinking early this morning between Trump blogs and Hook's 47th Yellowstone story:
Take us home, Jena!
Spoiler alert for those who also attend my Power Rankings class (three doors down the hall, on your left!): this will be my topic tomorrow. Not exactly sure how I'm gonna rank 'em yet, but Neil from the Santa Clause trilogy will 100 percent be on it.
I was just watching the OG Santa Clause earlier this week, and I had the same exact thought. This guy is just the WORST. He's awful. Frankly, I put the wife right up there with him, because she allows this dick to talk to her kid like he does.
Horrible mother, even worse step-father.
Others that come to mind? Marv from Home Alone, obviously. That one is a given. The Mayor from ‘The Grinch,’ although stupid Cindy Lou Who annoys the crap out of me, too. I'd also throw out the boss from Christmas Vacation, and the red-headed brat from Christmas Story.
Feel like I've got a good start for tomorrow morning's class. Hope to see everyone there!
OK, that's it for today. Take us home, Jena Sims. And stay hot, kid!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Am I missing an obvious Christmas villain? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.