Sweat It Out With A Hairless Astros Fan, Visit Nebraska's New Digs, Fill Up At Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Check Out Holly Sonders, Baby Crowd Surfing And More

We've reached the sweat-while-standing portion of summer so it's time for a Nightcap. Kids are back in school, football is just about all the way back and Holly Sonders has devised the most unique way ever to start a competition.

That's a lot to take in, right? Well, like my stomach that now sweats while I do nothing other than stand in the August sun, we're going to power through this Wednesday and hope to not leave any stains behind.

Our sweat-soaked journey will make the rounds from coast-to-coast, visiting (virtually, at least) Atlanta's Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Nebraska's revamped football facility and the hairless seats of Miami's LoanDepot Park.

Most importantly, we'll allow Holly to ensure that you, the readers, have the breast time ever.

Now don't be a boob, keep scrolling!

Unlike Falcons, Mercedes-Benz Stadium Won't Disappoint

Listen, I'm not here to crap on the Dirty Birdz, but let's be real, the Falcons are going to stink. You know it, I know, OutKick's Dan Zaksheske knows it. Bijon Robinson's going to be fun to watch and maybe even Canton-bound (too soon!). And Kyle Pitts (if only there was a way to reference the above-mentioned sweating...oh well) will likely be nearly as entertaining. But their QB is Desmond Ridder and their uniforms look like they were snagged from the bargain bin. Give me Jamal Anderson and Jessie Tuggle or give me no one!

You won't find me slandering Jamal Anderson or the Dirty Birdz Atlanta Falcons (Photo by RHONA WISE/AFP via Getty Images).

Anyways, this is my long-winded way of saying that the Falcons might stink, but their concession stand prices are just the opposite.

You can eat and drink away visions of Ridder to Mack Hollins passes for just $20. Specifically - for that price - you can have popcorn, a soft pretzel, nachos and cheese, a soft drink, chicken tenders and fries, a hot dog and a slice of pizza.

Not just one or two of those items. ALL of the above for $20.

There absolutely can not be a better bargain in professional sports. Hell, I'm not sure even the minor leagues can compete with these menu prices and the variety. I've driven through McDonald's (for carb-loading pre-work purposes only, obviously) and spent more for two value meals. If I lived in the ATL, I'd be tossing on my Chris Chandler jersey and taking the family to Sunday brunch at Mercedes-Benz Stadium on the regular.

Nebraska Serves Up New Locker Room

For considerably more than $20, you can get your football program a new locker room like the one Nebraska unveiled earlier this week. And though it doesn't include waffle fries (that we know), it does include a pool. OutKick's Grayson Weir detailed the locker room yesterday and it's absolutely ridiculous. There are sleep pods, custom lockers, more TV's than Amazon and so much more.

To be fair, it's actually much more than just a locker room. It's an entire football facility. And damn, it's nice.

Are the Huskers back?

Astros Fan Caught With Fake Hair

Over at Miami's LoanDepot Park, an Astros fan may not be in the market for new facilities, but he'd most definitely be interested in some plugs.

Houston's broadcast caught this 'stros fan wearing not only an incredible Houston Hawaiian shirt, but also a visor that includes a beautiful blonde mane. All was going well and the fan was likely just a pair of neon Oakley's away from landing a date with a denim-clad 50something coed, until he briefly removed his visor.

And with that, he also removed his hair.

The move promoted Astros TV color analyst Geoff Blum to shout in disbelief:

“Wait a minute, did you see that?”

This led to a TV replay and a bald man outed by Houston's sleuths in the booth.

Literally, hair-raising stuff out in Miami.

Holly Sonders Is Removing Something Too

On the opposite coast, Holly Sonders - fiance of Oscar De La Hoya and an OutKick favorite - is doing her part to assist some of the internet's hottest girls in removing their tops (willingly, settle down) in order to commence competitions. But not just any competitions. Nope. We're talking things like sundae eating contests, fake male anatomy-riding contests, and more mundane events like basketball and bowling.

Holly launched Exposed Sportz yesterday and provided me with an exclusive inside look at the league. And let's just say, this is much less buttoned up than the NFL.

Holly's a damn content machine. Like or not, she knows what people want to see. There's a reason she has more than 1 million followers across social media and has covered sports for outlets like Fox and NBC.

I can't say for certain, but I think the way in which the Exposed Sportz girls start their competitions will soon go viral.

Holly detailed the unorthodox approach when we sat down to discuss the league.

“Boxers touch gloves at the beginning of a fight, we have the t*tty-tap. The referee says ‘Ladies, please remove your tops’ and then they touch their breasts together and we’re off.
“That’s kind of our trademark. The ‘t*tty-tap.’”

If that doesn't move the needle - or something else (Hey now!) - nothing will.

Motley and Shera are among the girls competing in Holly Sonders' Exposed Sportz league. (Photo c/o Exposed Sportz).

Holly half-jokingly asked me to serve as a guest referee for future competitions. I'm not sure if my wife will be overly-thrilled with that assignment...But sometimes work comes first, ya know?

LA Reporter Likely Won't Be Competing In Sonders' League

One female unlikely to make any future Exposed Sportz rosters resides in Los Angeles. And though her reporting skills are Varsity quality, her volleyball skills are better suited for JV. Actually, maybe the freshman squad - at best.

Recently, KTLA's Megan Telles attempted to show off her bump, set, spike routine from a California beach on live TV. She was doing so to help promote an ATV Tour event. Hopefully the event itself went better than Telles' demonstration.

Watch and cringe below:

Shawn Bradley Probably Would've Aced That

Admittedly, I have no idea if former NBA 2nd overall pick Shawn Bradley played volleyball. But considering he's 7'6", I'm going to guess that if he did, he would have had a much easier time bumping, setting and spiking than our girl Jennifer.

He'd probably look awesome doing so too. Though not as awesome as his high school mixtape. A mixtape that I somehow just discovered this week and can't stop watching.

This was the original short shorts era and quite possibly the only mixtape ever to feature Eiffel 65's Blue (Da Ba Dee).

Next to the above-mentioned "t*tty tap," this has to be the best video you've watched this week. Right? We can all agree that it gets no better than when Bradley's teammate is asked at the :10 second mark "How would you stop him?" The teammate simply replies: "You don't."

The late '80s never looked so good.

Browns WR Knows About Tall Tasks

Few things, if any, can compete with how cool Bradley's video is. But an image shared across social media is arguably as polarizing. And like the Bradley reel, height is a major reason.

Over the weekend Cleveland WR Jakeem Grant was photographed next to rookie OL Dawand Jones. There's a slight difference in their size. Grant is 5'6", 170. Jones is 6'8", 375.

It's insane to think these two bodies compete within the same sport and on the same side of the ball.

Not As Insane As The Happenings At A Flo Rida Concert

We've now laid our eyes on fake-haired fans, t*itty-taps, a Shawn Bradley mixtape and an incredible difference in size amongst NFL teammates. But I promise you, none of those things are as visually confusing as what went down at a Flo Rida concert in Erie, Pennsylvania over the weekend.

A crowd member at the CelebrateErie music festival decided, for some reason, to pass their baby through the crowd to join Flo on stage. For a brief moment, the baby was crowd surfing. He then joined the artist on stage, oblivious to what was happening and probably wondering why this guy wasn't singing any Bluey songs.

So many questions here. Why bring a baby to a Flo Rida concert? Why have your baby crowd surf, ever? When Flo Rida held the microphone to the baby's mouth when the chorus hit, did he really expect the clearly not-yet-one-year-old to sing the lyrics?

For those (I assume most of you), not familiar with arguably Flo Rida's biggest hit - Low - the rapper croons: "Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low."

I don't know about all that, but last weekend in Erie, it appears as if a parent in the crowd opted instead to get high, high, high, high, high, high, high, high.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, We Gotta Bounce

Whew.

*Nightcaps publishes at roughly 4pm Monday through Friday.

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