Study Finds That The Key To Getting Rich Is Hanging Out With Rich People In Chain Restaurants

I haven't been to an Applebee's in quite some time, but I may need to cancel some plans and order up a Bourbon Street steak for the good of my financial future.

I'm sick of hearing the same financial advice. 

Invest. Save. Diversify your portfolio. Don't buy a set of Orson Welles' fat guy clothes from a Planet Hollywood auction just because you think you can get a deal on it (just heard this one from my girlfriend recently).

Blah, blah, blah…

Well, a new study from the National Bureau of Economic Research (NERB) has something a little different: just go out and buddy up with rich folk.

According to NASDAQ, the study found that when people with lower incomes hang around higher-earning people, they're more likely to get richer themselves.

"Friendships across socioeconomic classes could improve lifetime wealth accumulation and help break cycles of poverty for individuals with low socioeconomic status," the study reads.

The study argued that "economic connectedness" helped everyone.

But where is the best place for one who would like to increase his or her wealth to hang out with high-society types? Well, another group of  ̶d̶o̶r̶k̶s̶ researchers — this time from MIT — found that this can be accomplished in publicly-funded spaces like libraries, but they said chain restaurants are the better bet.

I get it, booze will draw a bigger crowd than books. Plus, Olive Garden's endless salad and breadsticks deal is one of the nation's great unifying forces. 

But when ponying up to the bar at an Applebee's, TGI Fridays, or Ruby Tuesdays (which in my head are all basically the same place) you're not guaranteed to wind up next to rich people. I mean, you may sit next to someone at the bar and you wind up being the "rich" person in this equation. 

That's not ideal.

So, this idea tracks, but you need to go where the rich people are, and there are better rich people potshots than chain restaurants.

The first place that came to mind for me was Trader Joe's. I've seen people with some very nice cars and expensive sunglasses loading up on Two-Buck Chuck like the rest of us. 

I would just post up in Trader Joe's and strike up conversations in the frozen aisle until an employee in a Hawaiian shirt asked me to leave.

"You ever try these frozen cheesesteak bao buns?… No?… Well, anyway, nice to meet you; I'm Matt... Was that your Range Rover out front by any chance?"

I'd also try golf courses and driving ranges, luxury car dealerships, over-priced gyms and fitness clubs, and restaurants or shops that use the word "artisan."

If this study is to be believed — and which studies aren't except for most of them? — your worth will start skyrocketing.