Stone Cold Hits A Cold Tub, Chiefs Should Ride The D & McDonald’s Introduces Double Big Mac
Stone Cold is ice cold and Blake Griffin's gone from the NBA to Costco. How's that for National Nothing Day?
Yeah, that's really a thing, apparently.
And I missed it!
National Nothing Day is "an "un-event" proposed in 1972 by columnist Harold Pullman Coffin and observed in the United States annually on January 16 since 1973," per Wikipedia (which is always right).
As you calendar checkers know, the 16th was yesterday. And somehow, some way, I forgot all about this special day.
It's further explained by NationalCalendarDay.com as: "a day to provide Americans with one National Day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing or honoring anything."
Thankfully, the fine folks at Fox who electronically sign my paychecks give us "floating holidays," so I'll be observing today.
Now, by the looks of me, you'd think I was built for Thanksgiving. But I promise you, no one is more suited for National Nothing Day than this guy.
To properly celebrate, we should do the very opposite of Stone Cold Steve Austin and one of the founding members of Lob City (Griffin), by taking it easy.
But that's not the Nightcaps way. Besides, my boss already thinks I do nothing as it is, so why toss another log on the fire?
So let's ignore Harold Pullman Coffin's wishes and move along with this Wednesday. Fortunately, we've got the Chiefs' D, McDonald's and Super Mario coming along for the ride. They'll do the heavy lifting while we tip 'em back and celebrate.
Cheers!
Stone Cold Doesn't Enjoy Cold Tub
Despite the name, Stone Cold Steve Austin does not enjoy being, well, cold. The Texas Rattlesnake recently (briefly) sat in a cold tub to film a promo for his first-ever cold plunge. And it did not go well for Austin.
Filming from his Broken Skull Ranch, Austin could barely get through the less than 2 minute video, struggling and shivering through every word.
ATLANTA - Wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin during WrestleMania XXVII at the Georgia Dome on April 3, 2011. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage)
Stone Cold was doing a three-minute plunge and upon going chest down into the tub, could only muster the words/phrases "god damn," "son of a bitch," and "haaaaa," while grimacing in the type of a pain a steel chair to the back could never deliver.
Can I get a Hell No?
As the video shows, it took Austin about a minute and a half to go from just feet-in to nearly elbow-deep. Not that I'm blaming the guy.
I'm currently sitting in 6 degree Ohio weather and the thought of willingly submerging even a pinky into ice cold water is as welcoming to me as a certified letter from the IRS.
To the surprise of no one, Stone Cold didn't come anywhere close to lasting three minutes in the ice. "I'm going to revisit this mother f---er," the wrestling legend shouted as he quickly went from sea to land.
Blake Griffin Is Serving Samples At Costco
Former Rookie of the Year Blake Griffin hasn't exactly been a hot name amongst NBA free agents. The 34-year-old big man spent last season with Boston averaging just 14 minutes and four points per game across 41 appearances.
LOS ANGELES - Blake Griffin of the Los Angeles Clippers dunks against the Brooklyn Nets at Staples Center on November 16, 2013. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
Those numbers, when combined with his age and more than a decade of NBA miles on his body, likely mean his professional playing days are over.
Which is fine, considering he already has another gig.
Griffin is now serving samples at Costco.
I know this may come as a surprise, but Griffin likely doesn't need the extra dough, nor does this appear to be a permanent career move. Blake made more than $260 million during his NBA career (side note, I wonder if it's too late for me to give the NBA shot). He was at Costco passing out samples to support Orgain.
That's a supplement company that Griffin has a piece of, which clearly enticed him to hit the Cali-based Costco location to push some product.
No clue how his supplements are, but I do know that he was one half of what was maybe the best in-game dunk in the last 10-15 years.
McDonald's Doubles The Fun
All that dunking has me hungry. Especially because I had no intentions of working this hard on the day in which I'm observing National Nothing Day. But here we are.
The fine folks over at the Golden Arches have decided that Big Macs are so damn desirable, they're going to double the fun.
Mark those calendars because on January 24, McDonald's is releasing the Double Big Mac. Yes, that's four patties, cheese, three buns, special sauce, and all the fixins. But get it quick, this heart attack will only be available for a limited time and only at participating locations across the U.S. (please come to Ohio, please come to Ohio...).
Last month, McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinski told CNN the price won't break the bank and will vary depending on location. "We think we’re going to be able to deliver a great tasting large burger at a superior value to what can get anywhere else," Kempczinski said.
Sign. Me. Up. The hell with the cost!
I only wish the Double Big Mac was around in the fall of '22 after a poor Week 1 performance in the OutKick fantasy football when I was "punished" into chowing down on the "Donald Trump Challenge," which involves quite a bit of Mickey D's.
Chris Rose Suggests Chiefs 'Ride The D'
A comment that had retired running back Maurice Jones-Drew staring at Rose in disbelief. Almost as if he were looking at Andy Reid's frozen-over mustache...
Rose was complimenting Kansas City's defense when he advocated for Patrick Mahomes and the offense to "ride the D."
Hey Now! Good thing NFL Network is a cable channel!
The comment from Rose hit MJD harder than any linebacker did during his nine-year playing career and led to a great live TV moment.
Kansas City heads to Buffalo for a Divisional Round matchup with the Bills on Sunday. The Chiefs will fly to the game but in the event planes are grounded for weather, Rose will likely note that the squad can ride the D to Orchard Park.
Super Mario's A Money Maker
If K.C. isn't your cup of tea, you might want to consider a Mario party. That is, if you'd like to make some extra cash without having to distribute samples at Costco...
Mario Party 3, a classic video game (but you already knew that) released for Nintendo 64 way back in 2000, could fatten your bank account by as much as $2,000 - think of all those Double Big Macs!
The U.S. Sun cites PriceCharting.com as listing the iconic game as being worth $2,169 if you have a professionally graded copy of the game. That value is for a sealed version of the game. Because as we all know, it's oh so common to find sealed versions of 24-year-old video games laying around.
Personally, I keep my sealed games in a drawer next to my unopened Beanie Babies and Mickey Mantle rookie card. A sealed copy of the game that is not graded can fetch more than $870, per The U.S. Sun. For a non-sealed copy you can up your bank account by about $160. Even the game's manual is selling for more than $25.
Mario Party 3 has reportedly sold more than 1,000,000 copies worldwide.
Happen to have an opened version of this game? Send me a picture and let me know if you've been waiting for this day for 20+ years or if there's some other strange reason why you're hoarding decades-old video games in their original packaging. Hit me up on X, @OhioAF, send me an AOL Instant Message (Psych!) or email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com.
Jared Goff Hoping Eminem Was Just The Opening Act...
We're not stopping the party at Mario, we're bringing this mid-week booze cruise all the way to Detroit. Dan Campbell's knee bitters are the feel good story of the NFL season and they had Detroit's own Eminem in attendance last week for the team's first playoff win in more than 30 years.
If you missed it, Lions cameras panned to Marshall Mathers early in the game with the Lions ahead of the Rams 14-3. Moments after doing so, the stadium's sound system pumped Eminem's "Lose Yourself" throughout Ford Field as 65,000 fans sang along.
That's a damn banger. Try not singing that in the midst of any playoff game, let alone when Eminem himself is on hand.
OutKick's David Hookstead called the moment the "cherry on top" of Detroit's playoff win.
Quarterback Jared Goff was a fan too. He called the atmosphere "unbelievable" and made a subtle pitch for another native Detroit musician to be amongst the crowd when the Lions host Tampa Bay this weekend.
Kid Rock.
Goff's right - Eminem and Kid Rock in back-to-back weeks would be the most impressive thing to hit the Motor City since the Pistons won two straight...during the preseason.
Kid Rock, Marshall "Eminem" Mathers, and Mark McGrath of the music group Sugar Ray arrive at the world premiere of the film "Joe Dirt" by Columbia Pictures April 1, 2001 in Westwood, CA. (Photo by Chris Weeks/Liaison)
Time To Respect (Yesterday's) Calendar
Alright, I've said and done enough. This was intended to be a day of doing nothing and here I am hitting the keys as if I'm Billy Joel. So that's it for me. We'll do it again next week, same place, same time. Enjoy the leftovers!
*Nightcaps publishes at roughly 4pm Monday through Friday.
Follow along on X: @OhioAF