That Stinks: Authorities On The Hunt For Thief Who Stole 48,000 Pounds Of High-End Cheese

Authorities in London are on the hunt for a thief who pulled off what has to be one of, if not the biggest, cheese heists in all of human history, making off with 48,000 pounds of dairy.

According to the Associated Press, Neal’s Yard Dairy is a distributor, wholesaler, and retailer of British artisanal cheese and they say that they were on the receiving end of a con man who made off with 22 metric tonnes of cheese (48,488 pounds) worth about £300,000 or $390,000.

"The high monetary value of these cheeses likely made them a particular target for the thieves," Neal’s Yard Dairy said in a statement.

Detectives from Scotland Yard are on the case, as are international authorities on the hunt for the 1,000 missing wheels of cheese.

I like a bit of cheese every now and then. I like a nice cheddar, maybe a smoked gouda. Although I've got to say, Manchego might be my favorite. 

Don't sleep on Manchego.

People sometimes forget that cheese can be pricey, making it a target for thieves… or at least one thief in the UK. (Getty Images)

But, I've never considered the idea of stealing cheese, which kind of surprises me, because I'm well aware of how pricey it can be.

There's a good Italian joint near me that has a signature dish where they have a wheel of cheese that's kind of scooped out and they bring it to your table. They dump brandy in there and light it on fire then throw a batch of pasta in it and swoosh it around in the flaming brandy and melted cheese.

It's fantastic, and one time I asked how much the wheel of cheese was — they're about the size of a spare tire — and was told they cost several thousand each.

For cheese? 

I considered faking a heart attack as a diversion, so my girl could wheel one out the back of the restaurant, and throw it in the back of my 2022 Kia Forte (it's heavy, but she'd have to do that herself; remember, I'd be on the floor on diversion duty), but I'm not that kind of guy… I'm not above doing that to steal other things, just not cheese.

Hopefully, those wheels show up at some point and this Danny Ocean of cheese-stealin' is brought to justice.