If These Standing Seats Are Coming To Planes I Think I'll Just Drive

In some recent editions of The Gripe Report — the biggest thing to happen to complaining since social media comments became a thing — we've been talking about airport and air travel complaints, and I don't mean to belabor this topic, but they really make it so goddamn easy.

Do you hate the limited amount of legroom you've got in a typical airline seat? Yeah, well, that seems luxurious compared to what we're seeing in new "standing seats," photos of which have gone viral amid claims that some low-cost carriers — of course — are considering going with them.

Here, just look at these things.

…Really? We might be doing this, huh?

I swear, low-cost carriers are just trying to see how much nonsense you'll put up with for cheap air fare. It started with, "Hey the ticket is cheap, but bags are extra and there aren't any complimentary food or drinks," to these seats. And before you know it, you'll have to grab your boarding pass from between the teeth of a snarling Doberman.

It's like they're hazing us.

I mean, the buckle on that seat is between your legs like it's a toddler's car seat. What dignified adult is going to pay to half sit, half stand like that? How bad do you need to go to the beach or your great aunt's funeral if you're willing to do this?

And if this is potentially a low-cost carrier move, that often means there will be no wi-fi to speak. If so, you'll just be sit-standing there, raw-dogging the flight, while people who were willing to pony up $30 extra dollars or whatever sit in normal chairs like adult human beings.

C'mon America, let's put our feet down and not let this happen anymore, otherwise I'm driving everywhere.

At least that way I can stop at Cracker Barrels along the way… wait; dammit, those got ruined too!