Some Are Saying This National Anthem At The DNC Will Make Your Ears Bleed Uncontrollably
If Day 3 of the Democratic National Convention is anything like Day 2, we're all in for a treat. Frankly, though, there is just no way anything today will hold even a candle to what the Dems gave us yesterday.
I've heard some really, realllllly bad national anthems over the years. They are inevitable. If I was a singer – I am very much not – I would never, ever sing the national anthem. It's a high risk/low reward undertaking.
If you nail it, then you've just properly sung the national anthem, which is expected of you. It's not some super confusing song to sing. The words have been the same for hundreds of years.
But if you do not nail it, and things spiral … you're an internet meme forever. Remember that country music chick who butchered the Home Run Derby anthem last month and then checked herself into rehab? Yeah, when you screw it up, things get really bad, really quick.
Anyway, all that to say … the Democrats opened Day 2 of the DNC with the women's caucus singing our nation's song, and it was quite possibly the worst thing I have ever heard:
America reacts to the DNC national anthem
Whoaaaaaaaa Nellie! There's Roseanne Barr bad. There's I'm clearly drunk and need help bad. And then there's whatever the hell that was from the DNC.
My God. He's right. It's literally like an SNL skit, except not even SNL could organically sing something that poorly. It's impossible.
For starters, how do you forget the words? How do you just mix up the words to the national anthem? Feel like you can just print them out and follow the script if you really don't know them, right? Maybe these ladies were just nervous and froze?
I'm sure there were just dozens – dozens! – of people sitting there waiting for the women's caucus to make remarks at the DNC, so it's obviously understandable to be a little nervous. It's like the Super Bowl.
If they cracked under the pressure of the bright lights, I won't make fun of them too much. It could happen to anyone. I'm nothing if not fair.
There's also the angle, of course, that the Dems hate our country, constantly make a mockery out of it, and therefore don't really bother even knowing our national anthem. Some will say that. I surely won't, but some will.
Anyway, there's a joke about Trump and bleeding ears somewhere in here, but I can't quite craft it. So, I'll just go ahead and leave you with A) Roseanne, and B) America's instant reaction. Enjoy!