Soccer Star Achraf Hakimi Defeats Ex-Wife Hiba Abouk In Divorce With Incredibly Smart Ploy

Editor's Note: After publishing the story, it was brought to my attention that Achraf Hakimi is facing preliminary charges for rape in Paris.

Preliminary charges in the French legal system occur when a judge has strong reason to believe there is a crime yet it allows time for more investigation before a possible trial. If true, all of the following commentary is bunk and I immediately throw my support in his ex-wife's corner.

In response to their recent efforts, I've decided to relaunch Anheuser-Busch's "Real Men of Genius" marketing campaign. The first bro I'm anointing as a "brainiac" is Moroccan soccer star Achraf Hakimi who defeated his ex-wife, Hiba Abouk, in a divorce battle.

Hakimi's divorce situation could've been as lame as any New Yorker or Californian. Meaning, Hakimi may have been on the hook to pay his ex-lady — Abouk — at least half of his soccer earnings.

This dude makes roughly $1.1 million per month! If it were me, I might go Fargo on Abouk instead of paying $550K every four weeks, even if she were the mother of my child. With that kind of money, I could just pay for a nanny.

Soccer star Achraf Hakimi and ex-wife Hiba Abouk attend the 75th Anniversary celebration screening of "The Innocent (L'Innocent)" during the 75th annual Cannes film festival at Palais des Festivals in Cannes, France. (Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)

However, it didn't come to that because Hakimi had an ace up his sleeve. Apparently, this brilliant man registered his assets under his mother's name. He included clothes, cars, and real estate.

Reportedly, the judgment against Abouk gets even worse. As in she’s being recognized as the breadwinner of the couple. I say "reportedly" since my source isn't exactly Fox News or the Associated Press.

Yet Abouk could be forced to shell out half of her acting salary to Hakimi. Yikes. This is akin to an NFL team fumbling out of the back of their opponent’s end zone. Not only do they not score a TD but that team loses possession.

Soccer WAG, Hiba Abouk, takes tough defeat in divorce with Achraf Hakimi

I'd actually argue Abouk OutKick'd her coverage in this one. Don't get me wrong, she's a missile and I'd fight everyone reading this for her to swipe right on me.

But, Hiba is 12 years older than Hakimi, who is playing for one of the most famous soccer teams on the planet: Paris Saint-Germain from France's Ligue 1. Or so I'm told.

Abouk is a Spanish actress with 15 productions under her name including a Spanish Cheers that I'm kinda curious about, if we are being honest. I don't really like subtitles but Cheers with Woody Harrelson and Ted Danson ruled.

Either way, because of his career and direct deposits, when it comes to women Hakimi probably lives in a world most guys can't understand.

Allegedly she wants a divorce after catching Hakimi cheating. Like, yeah, no s***. In the words of all-time standup comedian Chris Rock: a man is only as faithful as his options.