Sammy-Jo Luxton Could Be MMA's Next Big Instagram Star, John Daly Classes Up The Ritz, Plus Trevor Lawrence Spends Big $ On His OL
Where are the Twitter embeds?
Thanks for asking.
They're not embedding.
Why not?
You'll have to ask Elon's team.
But this ruins my morning.
Sorry about that. I'm at the mercy of Elon's engineers. It would be much easier on my life if the embeds were working as well. It's Saturday morning, I got up at 6 a.m. to knock out Screencaps for the sixth time this week. Yes, I'd love for those embeds to work as well.
When will they work again?
I have no idea.
But...but...but...
We'll keep working hard to see what we can find out and look for a solution. That's all I can tell you right now.
Things happen. As a column, we have to adjust the gameplan and do our best.
Screencaps readers who met their wives at the bar
Now these are some stories. Just when I come up with a topic that I don't think will produce stories, we get stories. That proves just how diverse the readership is here. When you have tens of thousands of readers, you get bar love stories.
• Cody has an incredible love story to share. The bar love scene runs in the family:
Stopped in the middle of reading screencaps as I had to share this.
My Dad and Mom both met at a bar after my mom dropped pizza all over my dad.
I was 30 years old and went out to my best friend's birthday at a bar, he was trying to hook me up with one of the girls who he hung around with. I met her, we were talking and I made fun of FSU who was playing that night, she punched me in the arm b/c she was rooting for FSU and liked college football. Must have been like getting punched by Cupid as she became Mrs a 2 years later.
My brother walks into a local bar and the owners daughter/bartender thinks he is cute. Few short years later they are married w/kids.
Who says you can't find true love at the bar!
• Ryan in Colorado checks in:
I also met my wife at a bar. It was 2010, about when all the dating and hookup apps started to really infiltrate the world, signaling the lowering of the bar for honesty and how to be able to interact. This particular place is long gone. It was a little divey, and mainly a place where a lot of people would get blackout drunk, get into the occasional fight, and listen to live music on the weekends. It was a place where you could find a one night stand if you had the game, but not really a place where one would expect to find a decent girl.
I wasn't in the mood to go out that night because I was off to Vegas the next day and I wanted to save all of my cash for the debauchery that awaited me there. I definitely wasn't thinking I'd meet anyone. I was a few drinks in when I saw her walk through the door, and I was certain she made strong eye contact with me (many years later she said she never saw me). I was never one to approach a random girl in a bar, but something besides the booze told me she was worth taking that chance, and told myself I would regret it if I didn't try. So I ordered another shot and decided I would talk to her.
I had the good old liquid courage coursing through my blood. I elbow my way past her cockblocking girlfriend over at the other bar, and she immediately grabs my ID as I buy her a drink and starts checking my credentials. We end up talking, drinking, and dancing (badly on my part) to That 80s Band over the course of the night. The night ends, and she takes my number, but doesn't give me hers. Her dumb girlfriend also mentions her having a boyfriend as a parting shot on the way out. I figured that was the end of it.
Three weeks go by, and I get a text from a number I don't recognize asking if I wanted to hang out. Hell yes I do! I brought my same buddy along to do the Seinfeld thing where he introduces himself first so that I could get her name again (I had gotten hammered enough the night of, I had forgotten it). 14 years later, a house and a lawn (proud TNML member), kids, dogs and so on. I'm proud to say I did it "the old fashioned way".
Does she watch sports? Not really, but she happily sits with me and plays games on her phone/reads/does whatever. -hence no TV wall yet. Keep fighting the good fight Joe,'Caps is the best.
• Thomas writes:
I don't know if it counts because it's not Hooters, but I met my wife at the bar. It was a low key, hole in the wall in Huntsville, AL. I was looking for a place to chill out and get some work done on a lazy Tuesday afternoon. There's only 2 other people in the bar. One, some old timer regular minding his own, and the bartender. She comes over and flirts, sits next to me and strikes up a conversation. I'm newly single, so I'm thinking why not.
Well in comes another pretty little thing with a bit of flair and sass. Walks up, sits at the bar and kicks her feet up on the chair and immediately asks who I am, because she's never seen me before. The bartender gets up and grabs a coke for the new girl sitting at the bar. When she does, new girl comes to sit next to me. She starts talking up a whirlwind and the bartender comes back a bit jealous and sits on the other side of me. I'm not the greatest-looking guy in the world but I guess I was having a good day.
Anyway, new girl tells me I should come on Thursday or Friday night, because the bar is hopping when she's behind the bar (she was just there to pick up her check). She looks at me, tells me she has to go and that she hopes she sees me again. Throws the bartender a couple of bucks for the coke and heads out the door. I fumbled for my wallet, because this is back when people carried cash (I was taught to always have some cash on hand), tossed the bartender a 20 dollar bill and ran after new girl.
As I head out the door, I go find out her name, Sarah and she also yells out see you soon....as she trips over the curb to get into her car. She sped out of the parking lot. I thought it was great this fantastic woman had a clumsy flaw.
I show up Thursday night, no seat in the house available. There's Sarah, bobbing a weaving the crowd and behind the bar. I finally found a seat by the old bar top game machine that no one played. She spotted me, came over with the beer I was having on Tuesday and laughed she didn't think she'd see me after she tripped. I later overheard her tell the security guy that she liked chocolate cake, so Friday night I showed up with a slice for her. I was a regular every Thursday and Friday night, I became her security guy (I got paid with free beer), and 4 kids, 3 boxer pups later, we have been inseparable since.
Thank you for engaging your audience and getting real content out. I'll shut up and continue reading now.
• Don in Big Canoe, GA writes:
I asked my date what she wanted to do. She is born/raised in KY and she said "I want to go to Boomers, eat wings and drink beer and watch the UK vs Louisville basketball game". I thought we would watch the first half and leave. We watched the entire game, then went to a pool hall and drank more beer and shot pool until 2am.
I took her home and drove home thinking "this one has potential". We were married two years later. Just celebrated our 28th anniversary this past September.
'I was the golf instructor and she asked me out. Now we're married with kids'
• Duncan N. writes:
I met my future wife when I gave her a golf lesson. Her Mom was a member at the country club I worked at, and she kept coming back for lessons, I thought she just wanted to get better at golf. After 4-5 lessons she asked me out, and we've been married for 18 years and have 2 kids. Unfortunately, I haven't played but 2-3 rounds in the last 4 years!
'The first time I met my wife she gave me band uniform No. 69'
• Keith M. is up this morning and sent this email:
Joe - Just got the Friday 'caps this morning (busy Friday!) and the Hooters story made me think about meeting my wife. I played saxophone in our HS marching band and she was the band manager in charge of getting us our uniforms.
So the first time I meet her, she gave me uniform number 69. About a year after that, we start dating and now over 30 years later and 22 years of marriage, I still giggle that she gave me a 69 the first time we spoke. I know, I'm deep into middle age and still have sophomoric humor.
It makes me laugh even more since her new favorite "dirty" joke is that inflation is so bad that "69" is now "96".
Merry Christmas to you and your family the SC nation!
What's the ideal house size for a family of 5?
You guys might've caught my post Friday where I attacked this subject. It's a topic that has a wide range of theories. I came up with the ideal house for two work-from-home adults and a finished basement and it came to $719,000.
• Geoff P. wrote in:
I'll start off by telling you I live in San Diego County, CA. My price per square ft is north of $700 and we don't do basements out here for some reason.
With that kind of price pressure, efficiency is the name of the game. Two of the kids are for sure sharing a room and mom and dad are for sure sharing an office space. Bonus space out here is called outside due to the beautiful weather, so that gets chucked out of the home as well. We are gonna want 1 room for guests, so we need a total of 5 12 x 12 rooms and 2.5 bathrooms.
Let's call that 950 Sq ft. We will utilize an open concept to maximize space for a kitchen, dining, and living area. We can probably make due with 40 x 20 for 800 Sq ft for a grand total of 1750. This feels about right to me as I'm currently a little snug with 1300 Sq ft and 4 br/2 bath for 4 adults w 2 kids.
You're gonna want at least a 2 car garage and a shed in the back for storage to go along with this little slice of heaven.
Hold onto you short and curlies, because this California dream will cost you a solid $1.2M. I will say the neighborhood is nice with no homeless to be found or poop on the streets, so we have that going for us...
Vern in Washington is smoking salmon...this is what you get when you go and catch your own salmon as the sun is rising
• My new friend Vern, 85, who has a Google resume that proves just how great of an American he is, writes:
What salmon for smoking looks like! Rule number one: It takes good product to produce good results - you can't make chicken salad out of chicken chit!
The recipe was given to me by my brother Jon - he knows me-butt simple - even a pilot can do.
Have learned a few things about fishing over the last 70 years. Caught my first salmon when I was 12 years old.
Rule 1: you have to fish frequently and often.
Rule 2: odds go way up if you fish where fish are.
Rule 3: most important - there are no fish in the living room!
Kinsey:
I absolutely love how Vern gets the column and threw in his three rules about fishing and salmon. From Millennials to Post-War babies. This column draws all of them in. I'll say it again, I'm blessed to have this audience.
Do you want to come shoot rabbits with me?
• Kevin in Toboso, OH writes:
I invited you to shoot recurves and wondered if you would be up for a winter hunt for rabbits? We have a blast and mix in some good meals and adult refreshments after we are done? You up for an adventure? Near Apple Valley lake/golf course if you have ever been?
Kinsey:
How about I come down that way in 2024 to golf and bring the text group or at least Canoe Kirk?
Deal?
We're not PETA members by any stretch, but my wife might divorce me if I go shooting rabbits. It's bad enough when the dog brings her a dead squirrel or rabbit. I just don't need the drama, Kevin!
If you want to go fishing on Lake Erie, that's fine.
Speaking of the Millennials, Indy Daryl was up early this morning because that's the life he lives and he knew I'd be on the computer
• Indy D., who is tinkering with the idea of teaming up with Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green next year for some endurance competitions, writes:
Happy Saturday morning! Not too often you get a sunrise like this in suburbia. But wow was it pretty this morning! Have a great day
The drug scene in the Pacific Northwest
• Mike T. sent over this one, but it's behind a paywall which is interesting when Seattle is going through a real crisis and parents will need to pay the Seattle Times to hear all about this crisis. That's a shot at the Seattle Times. Take the paywall off this important information and paywall something else.
While we're at it, let's take a look down the I-5 at Portland where they're rethinking this whole open-air drug use market idea
This story came out this week in the New York Times:
Millennial Jeff in Minnesota has a wood question and needs your help, if available, before deploying
• MJiM writes:
Hey Joe, sending this before I lose my nerve.
Screencaps community,
We recently moved into a new house a little over a year ago. The previous owner politely left a lot of wood behind. I also have been stockpiling wood since Covid. I planned to make a woodshed or wood hut and a workbench in the garage.
Anyways, I'm deploying to an unnamed location, don't worry nothing sexy or exciting, I'll be safe, for 5 to 6 months. I leave late Jan/early Feb 2024. My wife has assured me that by the time I get back from deployment, all that compiled wood will be gone. She's definitely a woman of her word. She gets sh*t done!
Question:
Are there any skilled carpenter woodworker types in the Twin Cities area that might want to help me finish those projects?
I presume that if we get two-four guys together we could knock it out in a morning or afternoon.
With many kids and a busy job, my availability is limited, but luckily I have some time the week after Christmas (before New Year's). If that doesn't work I can likely squeeze it in one of the weekends in January.
Don't forget your leaf blowers!
• Doc Merms writes:
Dear Joe and SC community,
Pro-tip for late-season rounds. Shouldn’t count towards the other 14 clubs in the bag! Not just for the greens as it helps find tee shots that aren’t center fairway.
Keep up the great work and I’ll try to do some hard things today. Respect to the SC kingdom.
Kinsey:
That's a great reminder from Doc.
Stop and think of how many batteries golf courses would need to clear the grounds in the fall. Back in October, I was out golfing with the guys when one of the rangers comes barreling towards a green covered in leaves (they were falling like snow) and he had a battery-powered blower. We're talking multiple batteries needed for one green.
It's a 27-hole course with trees everywhere.
It's Saturday and I don't have the energy to go in on this climate terrorists scumbags.
Guys, take your blowers with you. These courses won't have the firepower to get it done before too long.
• Guy G. in western New York knows about blowers and listen to what he says about golf courses:
I’ve been keeping up (barely) for the last couple weeks, and watching the attempts to ban gas leaf blowers. As the sales guy for the #1 blower on golf courses, I need to jump in. Generally, everything grinds to a halt here. Purchase orders dry up, and it is a fight not to nap at my desk. Not this year.
I just got back from the PRI (racing) show in Indy. Every track NEEDS this at their track, and orders were flying. I even got grief from NASCAR, for not getting to their order fast enough. Between now and the end of May, I have 15 shows, and each unit that we take for display has been sold. This has never happened. We usually sell them at the show, but this is the first time that everything going out is already sold. Add to that, we have 350ish machines on order. And hit our 3rd consecutive record year…in November.
No one who actually works cares about the noise or exhaust. It’s about productivity, and America still works. Commie bastards can pound sand and cry, we’re going to keep at it.
'What happened? Am I banned?'
• Steve E. in Oregon writes:
You’ve published a number of things of mine over the years, but I haven’t been getting any love lately, especially with my sunrise/sunsiet pics that I sent you. I’m hoping you’ve just been busy, and I’m not Persona Non Grtata on Screencaps any more for some reason. :-)
If I’m not, here are a few of my favorite sunrise/sunset pics, some over Mt Hood (especially since you’ve been talking about Oregon and Canoe Kirk being here in town)..
Kinsey:
I'll admit, I did cut way back on the sunrise/sunset photos. Steve E. must've been a victim of that editorial decision. No harm intended. Steve E.'s always sent in great emails. It got to the point where I'd have 50 sunrise emails and meanwhile, I had Todd Z. on my right flank launching attacks.
Since Steve E. has been such a great friend of the column, let's dump out two of his shots, including one of Mt. Hood since Mt. Hood had such a big week around here. The other shot is of Bryce Canyon.
Speaking of sunsets, if you're hiking in Alaska this time of year, your sunset photo is being published
• Keith in Palmer, Alaska writes:
Out Hiking yesterday afternoon, 12/14/2023 the wife snapped this picture just a little after 4 pm. You can see the mountain range on the left, the sun setting in the west, the clouds covering the valley floor was about 4 outside.
That's it this morning. The sun is out...again! It was 56 degrees here Friday and it's going to be around 50 on Christmas. We're half-way to a snowless December.
Enjoy the college football. Enjoy watching MY Bengals against the Vikings. Enjoy all the college basketball. It's going to be a massive sports day. Get those meats from the butcher (yes, if rabbit sounds good, go for it) and kick back.
Have a great weekend.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
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