Salma Hayek On Spring Break, Jerry Jones Takes Insane Notes On His Note Pad & Lawn Guy Gets In Shape

Was that one of the least dramatic opening weekend March Madness Sundays in years?

Congratulations to fans who prefer their March Madness tournaments filled with chalk – this year is for you. The good news after all the blowouts on Sunday is that we're going to get some serious Sweet 16 action with N.C. State and the tank lefty as the last remaining Cinderella, if you can call the ACC Tournament champions a Cinderella. 

Put it this way, CBS and Turner Sports are happy this morning. 

Oh, and people who bought all-session upper deck Sweet 16 tickets in Detroit last week for face value at $225 who are now selling them for double are happy this morning. I complained when the tickets were $225 and now Purdue is playing in Detroit and I'm kicking myself for missing out on a money-making opportunity. 

$524 is the all-session Detroit regional get-in price right now on Stubhub – before fees. If Purdue loses to Gonzaga Friday night, and Tennessee loses to Creighton, I might be making a trip north on Easter to watch some Elite 8 college basketball. 

While I have it on my mind, is Tennessee always that sloppy with the ball? With 10 minutes to play in the second half against Texas, and leading by like 12-14, it felt like the Vols were just horsing around. There were at least two alley-oop attempts that were sloppy and the ball was flying all over the place, turnovers, balls going out of bounds. 

It's simple to see the talent on Tennessee. I just wonder if they'll get sloppy again and I'll snag some Elite 8 tickets for $30. 

The last time I caught the Elite 8 in Detroit was 2008. Steph Curry and Davidson lost to Kansas 59-57 at Ford Field. Curry had 25. 

Speaking of basketball, congrats to one of our TNML own who won a state championship on Sunday

Mike Freshwater, who has been ranked as high as the top five in the world by the TNML voters, helped cut down the nets Sunday in Dayton as Alter won an Ohio state championship. Mike's an assistant coach. 

Now that basketball is over, I have to believe he'll turn his sights to winning a national championship – in mowing. 

That's Mike on the court to the left of the ladder. 

I need to get mentally prepared for this Masters practice round trip

• Richard G. writes: 

Thought I'd give you a heads up as a friend told me this today; phones ARE NOT allowed at Augusta but, on Practice day you can bring a digital camera.  Don't know if anyone told you this and I know you hope to get vids/pics of the mowers and great tracks for TNML.  Hope to see you there, I'll keep an eye out for the TNML polo.

Kinsey:

I've been so busy working on projects around the house – we had a huge Saturday night…Mrs. Screencaps and I combined forces to finish painting the bathroom while March Madness was on TV – that I really haven't allowed myself to get focused on Augusta and what's about to happen two weeks from today when Canoe Kirk and I roll into town. Two weeks from today at this very moment, we'll be preparing to head east on I-20 to the holy land where we'll have a noon tee time at golf course south of Augusta.

It still doesn't feel real that we're about to have this experience after so many years of being rejected by the Masters ticket lottery. It won't be real until Canoe Kirk and I enter those gates and head straight to the souvenir tent, as we've been advised to do. 

Over the weekend, the Masters commercials would come on and I'd just smile. It's time to start getting serious.

Speaking of that, I need to get a real round of golf in before I go to Georgia and try to swing a real club for the first time in months. 

This reminds me of the No Mow May morons who get on the local news and tell some reporter who's six months out of college about how if you just don't mow your yard in May, it'll save the planet 

Now, I'm sure Mr. Gus Schumacher had no idea what was coming his way last week when he served as a witness for climate change in front of an absolute bulldog like John Kennedy who is like Greg Maddux on the hill. You underestimate that guy and then he paints the corners for five minutes until you're looking at a called third strike as he backdoors a cut fastball on the outside corner. 

"Brother, this is an opportunity for you to think going forward. You had no business testifying, they used you," one Instagram observer noted. 

Bless Gus's heart, he thought things went well with his testimony: 

Influencers on influencing

• Steve E. in Oregon writes: 

I thought you’d like this post from the Babylon Bee, considering how much you like the Instagram influencers.

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That's it this morning as I figure out my work day with a new computer. Hang with me as I get comfortable with the operation. 

Let's go have a great day. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.