This Sad Texas Girl Had America's Attention Last Night For Obvious Reasons

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Ah, yes – a tradition unlike any other. Nope, I ain't talking about the Masters, although Augusta is right around the corner, boys and girls. 

I'm talking about another tradition. A better one, believe it or not. One that we've been doing in this country for quite some time now, and it hits like crack every time it gets here. 

The tradition of the (maybe horny) ESPN cameramen finding the hottest, yet saddest, girl imaginable during pivotal moments of major college football games. 

They did it two years ago with JJ McCarthy's girlfriend and dad (yep, I said DAD). They did it with sad Tulane girl last year during bowl season. Other sports have also joined in on the fun, including the sad Kentucky girl from last year's March Madness, and, of course, Masters Girl. 

But it always hits just a bit differently during the college football playoffs, and, right on cue, Texas Girl has thrown her hat in the ring for hottest find yet. 

Rollll tape!

Sad Texas fan joins a long list of stars 

See? A tradition unlike any other! Love this time of year. Nothing beats it, frankly. Hot chicks getting their hearts broken at college football games? The best. 

I give ESPN a lot of crap – and it's all deserved, by the way – but I have to give them credit here. They did NASTY work last night with the camera angles. I've never seen so many sad Texas fans, perfectly panned to by the camera operator at the perfect moment. 

It wasn't just this chick, although she was easily the most popular. 

See? The best. Solid work from ESPN last night. Tough few weeks because they're the wokest company in the land, but solid recovery last night. 

Anyway, back to the OG Texas chick. She joins a long list of hot girls to become superstars on national stages. I mentioned a few earlier, and also left out Gia Duddy – Will Levis' ex who turned on America as Will plummeted in the 2023 NFL Draft. 

Incredible list. What a team we've assembled! And, of course, America always remembers:

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Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.