How Do You Ruin A First Date? Reddit Users Share Hilarious Suggestions
Have you ever started a first date, and immediately wished it was over?
Well, I have good news for you. You're not alone. First dates can be very awkward, and sometimes, you realize it's going to be a disaster before it even really gets rolling.
In that case, you need a strategy to make a quick exit. Some people might just lie and claim they have an emergency they need to take care of.
What if you're not that quick on your feet? Don't fret because people have plenty of free advice.
![Reddit users reveal how to ruin a first date. (Credit: Getty Images)](http://images.outkick.com/static.outkick.com/www.outkick.com/content/uploads/2024/05/668/376/First-Date.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
Reddit users reveal how to ruin a first date. (Credit: Getty Images)
Reddit users reveal how to tank a first date.
As many of you know, I'm a huge Reddit addict, and I often find myself reading plenty of different topics. Ahead of Memorial Day weekend getting into full swing, I discovered a thread titled, "You have 20 seconds to ruin your first date, what do you do?"
The answers and advice didn't disappoint. Check out some of the best answers below, and hit me with your reactions at David.Hookstead@outkick.com:
- Mispronounce their name so horribly that they can't understand how you got it so wrong. Try it again and mispronounce it even worse, then just give up and say, "It's not worth it."
- Fart loudly. Perhaps even lift the leg, and definitely do not break eye contact. Really own it.
- Let me tell you about the goat Andrew Tate.
- Excuse me while I make sure my parole officer knows I am here or "Hey, Mom. She is cute and you said that online dating apps were only for hookers"
- You don’t know how to escape from a padlocked shed, right?
- Pursuant to Megan's Law, I'm required to tell you that I am no longer able to be around school zones or daycare centers. Now, you said in our chat that you have 2 small children, right?
- My favorite book is Atlas Shrugged.
- Be myself...
- "See, the thing about Crypto is...."
- Maintain unbroken eye contact for 20 seconds straight without saying a word, then whisper, "I’ve been waiting for you my whole life."
- "Oh you liked that picture? Thanks, I got it taken at the probation office. The state makes me take a new one every year. There’s some good lighting in that place."
- Berate the waiter for bringing a glass of ice water with an odd number of ice cubes.
- Tell her sorry I’m late, my mom had a hard time finding the place.
- "You looked way hotter in your pictures." (I actually know people who have done this)
- "So, I have this incredible business opportunity where you can earn a lot by recruiting others to join."
- Sh*t myself
- "I’m gonna need you to turn off the 5G on your phone while we’re together. You’re not vaxxed are you?"
This is definitely one of the funnier Reddit threads we've seen in a while. Let me give you two quick stories here that I think fit the vibe of this. First, several years ago after becoming recently single, I met a woman on a dating app (this was before my anti-apps rule) and she was smoking hot. After a few short texts, we agreed to meet up for drinks at a local Mexican place. Keep in mind, I'm about five days single, but I figured there was no point in wasting time.
The first date was a *DISASTER*. She was every bit as gorgeous as she presented herself on the app, but when I say it was like talking to a wall, that's my polite way of summing it up. It was like she couldn't speak English or string together coherent thoughts. I love to talk to people, and it's beyond frustrating when people can't get across simple thoughts. The bartender swung by after I finished a Corona, and asked if I wanted another one. I will never forget what happened next. I just sighed heavily and said, "Might as well at this point." She left within maybe 30 seconds after that, and honestly, I had fun the rest of the night. Haven't met a person since who was so bad at communicating. Being waterboarded would have been more fun.
Second story. This isn't a first date story, but it's by far the most awkward moment I've ever had with a woman. My friend was throwing a house party, and this guy had a legit mansion. I was pumped, and there was a young woman there who was very attractive but had short hair. Think Emma Watson back in the day with her pixie cut. Same idea, but probably even shorter.
![People share ideas for how to ruin a date. (Credit: Getty Images)](http://images.outkick.com/static.outkick.com/www.outkick.com/content/uploads/2024/05/668/376/GettyImages-1465648174.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
People share ideas for how to ruin a date. (Credit: Getty Images)
I'd had a shade too much to drink, and figured I might as well give it a shot. I needed an ice breaker. Would you like to guess what I went with? I asked her if her hair was short because she had cancer. I've never seen such disgust in a person's face. Then, in an attempt to save it, I lied and told her my mom had short hair (not true at all!). The beer was definitely doing the talking that night, and not in a good way. It goes without saying that it blew up in my face. Oddly enough, I've run into that woman a few times over the years, and it's always been funny. Wasn't funny in the moment. Oh well, that's life! Let me know if you have any fun dating stories at David.Hookstead@outkick.com.