Rep. Nancy Mace Exposes The UFO Cover-Up, 'Power Lesbians' Are Here & Volleyballer Kayla Simmons On Webcam

I've been up since 3 a.m., started pounding coffee at 4:40, popped my first Rogue at 6:15 and have already been to Lowe's and back to get enough Christmas lights to kill a horse. 

Whatever the hell that means. 

What a day. I'm fired up like that White House fireplace was yesterday. What a sight. Either that, or running on fumes. Can't tell. Don't care. Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we get to the bottom of the UFO mystery with Rep. Nancy Mace and get this fight for civilization going. While everyone else is focused on Matty Gaetz, Nancy is doing the Lord's work in congress. 

She zigs while the Dems zag. It's why she's a staple in this class. Frankly, one of our best students. What a pistol. 

What else? I've got the World's Sexiest Volleyballer, Kayla Simmons, reporting for webcam duty, there's a murderous power lesbian out west that is lighting up the internet like the Fourth of July, and a kiss cam for the ages from last night. 

Seriously, this is an all-timer. What a moment for this great country. 

OK, grab you a pickle for National Pickle Day – Lord knows the kiss cam fella did – and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

RIP Twitter (X). All the important players have jumped ship

Unreal move here by this guy. Didn't see it coming. Power move of the century and I'm not sure if it worked out or not. Not something I'd try with the missus, but to each their own. We don't judge around here. 

Anyway, I love a good pickle. The best. Now, bread and butter pickles? Trash. If you're a B&B guy, you might as well create a Bluesky account (more on that in a minute). 

Dill or death, I say. There was a great pickle stand in Boston Commons years ago when I lived in the city – before it was full of overly-woke lunatics – called Grillo's Pickles. They sell them in the Publix down the street now, but back then, I could only find them in the park across from campus. 

And they were/are the best. The absolute top of the line when it comes to the pickle game. If you haven't had one before, spend the extra $4 at the Piggly-Wiggly later today and give ‘em a shot. What’s an extra $4 in this economy, anyway? You're already leaving broke as hell. Might as well live a little. 

PS: anyone had those disgusting pickle-subs from Jimmy Johns yet? I've seen them all over social media, and I just can't imagine that they're any good. At all:

Apparently, today is the last day! Someone please try one. Take one for the class and be the hero. Do your job. 

OK, enough pickle talk! I wrote about it this morning, so check it out here when you're hiding in the bathroom later. Until then … all the insufferable Hollywood elites on Twitter are leaving and going to some safe-space called Bluesky because us mean conservatives are just too much now that Donald J. Trump is back in office. 

Sad. 

Let's check in on the Chiefs-Broncos game

That last one isn't actually related, but it sort of is. Is AOC coming around? Can't be, right? I mean, I know she's hot and possibly a closet conservative, but this can't actually be happening, right? 

No chance. There HAS to be an explanation for that. She'll claim she got hacked before dinnertime tonight. 

As for the rest of ‘em … I went over and checked out Bluesky this morning, and it was hilarious. It's basically just a giant support group for all the angry liberals to vent without anyone calling them out on it. 

And that's exactly what they want – and exactly why they lost. They don't want to listen to the other side. They don't care. They don't want conversation. 

They want to hear what THEY want to hear, and they do NOT want to be called out for anything. Which is why they have fled free speech Twitter for something called Bluesky. 

I'm sure it'll work out! RIP, folks. And stay strong, AOC!

PS: you think Cuban's seeing content like this on Bluesky?

Nancy Mace is on the case, power lesbians are here & Kayla Simmons is BACK

What a beating. The dude came out of NOWHERE to just pummel the security guard. What a dick. Who does that? 

Prison for life. It's one thing to beat the crap out of a fellow fan. That's as American as it gets. A tale as old as time. But the people tasked with dealing with you lunatics, who are paid $4 an hour? They are off limits. Not cool. Bad form. Prison. 

OK, rapid-fire time before the aliens murder us all. First up? Nancy!!!

We learned information that the government denies … We learned that there are federal employees and individuals injured by crashed craft retrieval programs and being paid by the government and compensated. 

You can’t tell me it doesn’t exist and yet you have people who’ve been harmed by retrieving crafts and are being paid by the government for those injuries. It doesn’t add up, and we have a lot more to investigate.

Get 'em, Nancy! And just in case you all thought she was alone in this quest … THINK AGAIN!

Nancy and Anna Paulina Luna are officially on the UFO beat in congress. They're cutting through the red tape, and getting America the answers we deserve and NEED. 

Just remember where you met them first. Right here. Nightcaps. We stay ahead of the trends. From our little class to the worldwide stage. That's called growth. 

Give 'em hell, Nancy!

Now, next on the agenda? Figuring out just exactly what all these power lesbians are all about:

Corey Burke, 33, allegedly struck, stabbed and strangled her father, 67-year-old Timothy Burke, in a fatal attack at her $800,000 Seattle home on November 5.

Burke, a training manager at Jeff Bezos' rockets and spacecraft company, confessed to killing her father after he refused to turn off the lights, according to charging documents seen by DailyMail.com.

After emerging from the house with blood 'dripping' down her face, she confessed to police that she 'freaked out,' claiming there was 'something important about Election Day.' 

Burke reportedly told detectives that 'she knew that she could not convince her father to keep the lights off', so went upstairs and retrieved the murder weapon. 

She then tripped her father and strangled him before attacking him with the ice axe. 

Burke then bit him and hit him several times in the head and side with the blunt and sharp ends of the ice axe, cops say.  His body was found in the basement. 

My God. I mean, what do I even say here? The obvious question on everyone's minds? What is a power lesbian, which is what Corey here apparently refers to herself as? 

Well, the internet tells me the term refers to a wealthy, influential lesbian with extensive social connections, often involved with similarly connected individuals.

Got all that? Good! Someone died, so I don't wanna be too light here, but … this made me laugh:

You ain't getting content like that on Bluesky!

OK, that's it for today. Kayla Simmons, the World's Sexiest Volleyballer – and former Marshall star – made her Instagram return in a big way last night. 

And we appreciate a good comeback story around here. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots). 

You believe Nancy can get the job done? Be honest. Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.