Reese Witherspoon Defends Snow Lattes, Dicker The Kicker Chugs Beer, Tyler Bass' Cats & Holy Handshakes

Well, folks, we made it through the winter storm.

The snow has melted, the grocery stores have re-stocked the milk and bread and my yard is a muddy mess. It's 45 degrees, rainy, cloudy and blah.

And now we've reached that point of January when the feeling of dread starts to sink in ...because football is almost over.

We have two more Sundays to cling to life until we enter winter limbo — just waiting for March Madness and warmer days ahead. The snow was fun while it lasted, but floating on the lake with a cold Miller Lite sounds really good right about now.

Ah, the winter blues.

(I'm all for rat behavior and staring at nice houses. I don't get the slime thing.)

But I actually relish this time of year.

Nothing going on means no distractions. This is when I become obsessed with my morning gym sessions, deep cleaning my house, reading — all those productive habits I sidestep when there are 48-straight hours of football on my television.

I am truly at my best when I'm bored out of my mind.

So let's enjoy these next couple weeks, shall we? After all, we have plenty of time for an existential crisis after the Super Bowl.

Grab a beer from your garage fridge. No, grab two. It's Nightcaps time!

Reese Witherspoon Fires Back At The Critics

Like many of us last week, Reese Witherspoon found herself in the middle of a winter storm. So she decided to make the most of it with a snow day frozen treat!

The actress grabbed some mugs, scooped up the white stuff, dumped some fixings on top, and — voila! — a cup of snow with coffee and chocolate syrup.

Looks delicious to me.

But the killjoys on the Internet were grossed out — suggesting the snow was filthy and Reese was going to contract some sort of terrible disease as a result of the impurities.

"The way she's just eating pollution slush puppies lmao," one commenter said.

"She's cute but this doesn’t seem very clean. A bird could have pooped in the ice pile," wrote another.

To be fair, I think she could see if there was bird poop on top of the snow she was scooping.

But man, if these people are worried about freshly fallen snow, wait 'til they find out about the '80s and '90s, when we used to drink from a rusty garden hose. And they sure don't want to hear about the contaminants coming out of their faucet ...or how often the taps are cleaned at their favorite local bar.

Anyway, Reese was flabbergasted by all the negativity. She even microwaved some of the snow in a glass, and guess what? All clear.

Some folks even suggested she filter the show before eating it. Which means she'd have to melt it first. Which means it would just be water, and that DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF MAKING A SNOW COCKTAIL.

"OK, talking about the snow not being filtered, I didn’t grow up drinking filtered water," Reese said. "Maybe that’s why I’m like this. So what you’re saying to me is I have to filter the snow before I eat it? I just can’t. Filtered snow. I don’t know how to do that."

Reese isn't tolerating this nonsense and neither am I. The only snow you need to avoid is the yellow kind. Or brown. Or that gray slushy stuff that forms along the side of the road.

Speaking of snow, though, here's a fun fact:

Fans Rally In Support Of Tyler Bass

It's been a rough week for Tyler Bass.

The Buffalo Bills kicker (and also the kicker for my 2023 2nd-place fantasy team) missed the game-tying field goal — wide right — in the AFC Divisional Round game between the Bills and Kansas City Chiefs.

Bills lose, and the nauseating Chiefs move on to yet another AFC Championship.

You gotta feel for the guy. Even though the loss doesn't fall solely on his shoulders, it's no doubt a miss that will haunt him for the rest of his life. Or at least until he gets a Super Bowl ring.

The 26-year-old deactivated his social media after the loss and has even reportedly received death threats.

So some fans are rallying around him for support — making $22 donations (a nod to his No. 2 jersey) to the Ten Lives Club, a cat rescue charity he has worked with over the years.

"WE STAND WITH TYLER BASS. DON’T BULLY OUR FRIEND," the organization wrote on Instagram. "We just heard the terrible news that Tyler Bass is receiving threats after yesterday's game and our phones are ringing off the hook from people who want to donate $22 to Ten Lives Club in Tyler's name."

"Tyler doesn’t deserve any of the hate he’s receiving. He’s an excellent football player and an even better person who took the time to help our organization and rescue cats last year. Leave our friend alone."

To clarify, no one deserves death threats — nice guy cat lover or not.

But as of Tuesday morning, the Ten Lives Club has already collected $50,000 in donations in Tyler's honor.

Pretty damn cool. Even for a dog lover like me.

Dicker The Kicker Is A Beer Guy

Let's switch gears to the Los Angeles Chargers' kicker, who had himself a much better night on Sunday.

Instead of watching the Bills and Chiefs, Cameron Dicker — more commonly known as Dicker the Kicker — took in an Anaheim Ducks game with some buddies. And he put on a show for the Jumbotron.

With the Ducks up 2-0 in the second period, Dicker ripped off his hockey sweater and chugged down his beer.

Little did he know, Jason Kelce was doing the very same thing — 2,500 miles away.

You know what? Forget relay races and speed challenges. Let's get a shirtless beer chugging competition in the Pro Bowl Games. At least people will watch it.

Someone get me Roger Goodell on the phone.

By the way, I ran across this silly Cam Dicker video from last month. This guy's gonna be the next Pat McAfee.

Enjoy.

Please Don't Jump On This Christian Tattoo Trend

When I hear about a tattoo "trend," I cringe a little bit.

I don't have tattoos. I don't have anything against them, either. Just a personal choice.

But, by definition, a trend is something that is temporarily popular. Like bell bottoms, the Atkins Diet or those Stanley cups. But a tattoo is a lifetime commitment on your actual body. So I just feel it requires a little more thought than "I saw this on TikTok."

Anyway, there's this trend going around among the tatted up Christians, and it's — well — I'll just let this guy explain.

I lost it at "holy handshake."

But handy Jesus reminded TikTokers of another religious tattoo gone bad from a few years back.

In 2021, Bekah Milly wanted an upper back tat of herself hugging an invisible guardian angel. But it looks like she's doing something else to her guardian angel.

Take a look:

If you don't see what I (and millions of others) saw, congratulations on your purity.

The original video quickly raked up more than 18 million views. And commenters said she should probably pay her tattoo artist another visit.

So she eventually did. She had some hair drawn on the angel's head and filled in its body with flowers.

Much better, I guess?

Let's open the mailbag.

Ben Wants Me To Be Fired

I was just bragging to a co-worker last night about how much I love OutKick readers.

And I don't say that to blow sunshine up your ass. I really mean it. As I told Dan Zaksheske, I get SO many emails in response to Womansplaining and Tuesday Nightcaps. Sure, sometimes you give guys and girls give me sh-t (I welcome that, by the way), but y'all are really funny, make great points and give me so many good ideas.

And then there's Ben.

Ben read an article I wrote about Al Sobotka. Al is a 70-year-old man who drove the Zamboni for the Detroit Red Wings for 51 years — until he was (in my opinion) unjustly fired when a male co-worker saw him peeing in a basement drain.

In the article, I argued the Red Wings should bring him back.

And I finished it like this: "If we can have an 81-year-old dementia patient running the country, I see no reason why a 70-year-old with incontinence can’t drive a Zamboni for as long as he wants. Maybe just get him a diaper or something."

Ben sprinted to my inbox.

Ben:

Are you a child? Have some respect. I can't believe you still have a job after that article.
And what was the point of making a political comment at the end of a story like that? Mental.

I could easily write that article far, far better than that. What a shame for Detroit.

Amber:

Couple things here. First, Al Sobotka explained he has a medical condition that makes it difficult for him to control when he has to urinate. That's not uncommon in older folks, and they make adult diapers for this very thing. I believe they also use the term "incontinence briefs," if you prefer.

Second, you asked me, "What was the point of making a political comment?" You must be new here.

And finally, since you can write "far, far better" than I can, feel free to send me your re-write and I'll share it in Nightcaps next week as a tribute to Big Al.

Because I, too, think he got completely hosed.

Apparently I'm Not As Dumb As I Thought

I don't dish out what I can't take. And sometimes that means making fun of myself.

In last week's edition of Womansplaining, I admitted to pulling the dumbest woman move of all time: I accidentally left my (push-button) start car running in my driveway overnight. I woke up to a dead battery and a husband who could not believe he married such an idiot.

(Those are my words. He's never said anything mean to me in his life.)

But — alas! Redemption. Thank you to Patrick for letting me know I'm not the only one.

Patrick:

Last week I went to my brother-in-law's for sloppy joes & wildcard football. Left the car on for about 8 hours. You are the only other person who knows.

Amber:

I have never screen shotted something and sent it to my husband so fast in my entire life.

Stuff That Made Me LOL

Some context (because it took me a while to figure out what was going on): None of these guys speak English. So they listen to an American song and then have to try to sing it back.

House Rules: No parties or events.

This is so spot on it's frightening.

So brave and edgy.

I will be whipping out this little trick next time we make chili.

"But I'M special!"

And finally, the reason I don't mountain bike.

I'm going to Hell for how hard I laughed at that. But if you ask Ben, the diaper comment had me well on my way anyway.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.