Reddit Thread Of 'Worst Cheating Stories' Shows How Truly Awful We Are

David Hookstead is off this week, which means I have briefly inherited the "Reddit thread" beat until he sobers up from Vegas. 

I won't be doing anything Wisconsin or military, but Reddit? Hell yeah. I'm all over this one. That place is the Wild Wild West. It's right down my alley. 

A bunch of weirdos on the internet, talking freely and honestly about some of the most random crap you can imagine? I'm all in. It's basically like a virtual dive bar. Just a bunch of drunk Americans, shooting the sh-t and having a good time. Wholesome, really. 

Unless, of course, you stumble upon a thread of the worst cheating stories. In that case, the wholesome stuff goes right out the window, and you're left feeling pretty gloomy about society's outlook. 

Frankly, you sort of just need to call your mom or wife after this and just telling them how much you love and miss them. 

If you have a granny still alive, maybe call her, too, and just let her sweet voice bring you down a few levels. Because after we dive into a couple of these gems, you're gonna A) want to show, and B) need to take a few hours off to regroup. 

Strap in:

What a thread!

OK, let's go ahead and cherry-pick a couple gems, shall we? It's hard to pick just a few, but I'm sure most of you are tired today from staying up late and watching the DNC last night (just kidding, obviously), so I'll try to be quick. 

Here we gooooooooooooo:

- Firefighter asked another firefighter to cover his shift by working for him. He then went and had sex with his wife that day.

- My bio moms best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We moved her, her husband and her daughter in. My mom slept with her husband and got pregnant so they put her in a nursing home to die all alone just so they wouldn't have to deal with the consequences. She was hours away as well so her daughter who was 10 at the time was unable to visit her.. she died alone because she went to her "best friend" for help. 

- My friend had a massive heart attack and having sex was hard for him for a while. He worked and his wife didn’t. He feel asleep in the chair one morning while getting ready for work. He awoke to a man unlocking his door. For about a year while he was at work his wife had different men with keys to the house coming over to have sex with her.

- My friend was partying with her boyfriend and some other people.  Her boyfriend f----d another girl on the same couch as her, while she was passed out.  She woke up part of the way through it and just didn’t know what to do.

- I ran into my ex wife's mother at a bar with some guy like ten years after we separated. Said hi and disappeared quickly. Six months later she is in the local paper. Apparently the guy she was with was her paralyzed husband's brother that she was f----g. She hung herself in jail after being arrested for trying to hire a hitman (cop) to kill her husband.

- My wife had an uncle who died. Before he died, his wife, who I will call Auntie Cocaine, was cheating on him with Dude 2. People knew it. When he died, Auntie Cocaine and Dude 2 stayed together for years.

When Dude 2 died a few years ago, it was known that Auntie Cocaine was already banging Dude 3.

She doesn't quite understand why her first husband's brother doesn't want her at family events anymore.

- Happy relationship for about 18 months. She got pregnant. Baby comes, girl starts acting weird. He finds out she’s been sleeping around the entire relationship. Gets a DNA test for the baby: they’re related, but it’s not his kid. It’s his little brother. Girl had been f----g dear old dad for 2 years.

Source: Me. Dad’s dead now. Good riddance.

That last one made me laugh out loud. No idea if that last part – or any of it, really – is true, but it's an amazing twist. Love a good plot twist, and that one got me. 

Look, these are some wild stories. It's Reddit, so you have to take everything with a grain of salt, but still … I could also 100% believe all of those stories. People are nuts. And they're horny. 

Mix those two things together, add a little alcohol to the shaker, and you have yourself the perfect recipe for some adultery. 

I'm hesitant to even ask this, but … have a cheating story of your own? Zach.Dean@OutKick.