Reddit Thread Asking People To Spill Dirty Family Secrets Spirals Out Of Control With Murder, Sex & Crime

Very few things on the internet surprise me anymore. Not in 2024. Not after seeing all I've seen. 

When it's your job to blog for a living and find endless content, you sort of just become numb to it all. 

Case in point: there was a viral video going around earlier this week during the eclipse of a news station airing a set of testicles during said eclipse. I mean, there were actual nuts on TV. Right there. 

I didn't bat an eye. May as well have been PBS. Yawn. Next. 

Anyway, all that to say, when I tell you I'm truly fascinated by something, believe me. It's not shtick. Not hyperbole. I'm not doing it for the clicks – although I'd like them, so keep 'em coming! 

There is a Reddit thread going around right now started with a simple question: What family secret was finally spilled in your family?

Simple question. Loaded and I mean LOADED answers. 

I come from a family filled with enough divorce to make your heads spin, alcoholism, scandal, drama – you name it – and I was even taken back by some of these responses. 

What a Reddit thread

Luckily for you, I spent the majority of Thursday morning combing through them. The Masters being pushed back two hours because of rain certainly helped. 

We'll start off with some light ones:

That my dad's little sister wasn't really his little sister. It was his sister's baby, raised by his mom. The girl didn't know until she was 21.

That's it. That's as light as they get. Seriously. That's the floor, right there. Having a sister that's really your cousin is small peas compared to some of these responses. 

You ready?

- My great aunt was a nurse supervisor at a mental hospital in the 1920s. She fell in love with a guy who was being evaluated for a murder trial. She helped him escape and they went to Florida. But the police caught up with them. My aunt got off easy, but he got the electric chair. I found all this in a newspaper archives while working on family history. Showed it to my mom and she admitted it was all true.

- My aunt didn't lose her teaching job due to budget cuts like she'd always claimed. Turns out she had never had a valid teaching license to begin with, regularly had affairs with the dads, and embezzled PTA money!

- My uncles are infamous criminals who killed multiple people. I thought they bred dogs.

- My father's brother killed 4 girls when he was in high school. My father was the one who found out and told the police.

- In 1945, my great-aunt had an abortion. She was pregnant with twins after she was raped by a Soviet soldier after the battle of Berlin.

- One of my uncles might have been a serial killer. After he died, my cousins found a journal in his remote cabin in Northern Minnesota with a bunch of dates and what seemed like descriptions of people.

He was known for picking up hitchhikers. They turned stuff over to the FBI, but the Boundary Waters area is huge and remote, so unless someone stumbles across something, chances are it'll never be fully investigated.

- My uncle was a cop. My father was a mid-level drug kingpin. He basically ran the marijuana & psychedelics trade in a small city. When I was a kid my uncle died in the line of duty. There was a big funeral and everything.

Turns out he wasn't killed in the line of duty. The cops found out that my father was paying him for cop information. When he was accused, my uncle ate a gun in his squad car in a parking lot.

I found out 30 years later.

- My great-grandma was a Russian mail-order bride during the cold war. She got over, alone, on a boat. She left her Canadian buyer for a Ukrainian farmer and never told anyone she was Russian again (communism lol)

Pretty sure she was a witch lol.

- My grandmother killed my grandfather. She and her brother covered it up and made it look like suicide. Then they burned the house down.

- We found out Grandma's secret ingredient was actually just store-bought marinara sauce. Our family dinners will never be the same. 

- My two cousins ( they were siblings ) were having sex. 

I could go on and on. The thread is HERE, so feel free to scroll at your own risk. A lot to digest there. 

Couple loose cannon aunts right off the bat, huh? You know what they say in the mental hospital game – never get emotionally attached. That's Mental Hospital 101. 

How about the chick embezzling PTA money and banging dads? Feel like that's a tale as old as time. 

Just because your uncles murdered people doesn't mean they didn't also breed dogs. You can do two things at once. It's called ambition. 

"My uncle was a cop. My father was a mid-level drug kingpin." Who else thought of Breaking Bad here?

"Russian mail-order bride during the cold war" would be an insane start to someone's LinkedIn page today. 

Two cousins banging? That's called Tuesday in Alabama. Relax, it's a joke. Just too easy to pass up. 

The marinara sauce-grandma one is devastating. That's the sort of betrayal that rips a family apart. Just gutting. 

All in all, a wild little ride on an otherwise slow Thursday in mid-April. 

Is your family as nuts as some of those? Boggle my mind! Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.