The Pussification Of Sledding
Now I've seen it all.
It's no secret that the local news treats you like a complete moron with its reports on things like weather preparedness. The local reporter who is fresh out of college will be assigned to do a story where some PR lady at AAA will remind drivers to have a winter emergency kit.
This week in Cincinnati, WKRC took things to the next level when they brought on a pediatric doctor to tell us all about the dangers of sledding. "Doctors say choose a flat hill and wear protective gear," WKRC told viewers.
Enter Dr. Brad Sobolewski from Cincinnati Children's Hospital.
Brad started off by rambling about how kids get hurt sledding.
Noted.
We're not morons.
"Many of the injuries happen when the kids either run into something at the end of their sledding activity or fall off the sled and roll down the hill," Brad told some news reporter via a Zoom call.
They can have head injuries, Brad notes.
Noted.
We're not morons.
Go on. Tell us more.
"You don't want to go down something that's too steep; you want to go down the hill that ends in a flat area," Brad continued. "If your backyard ends in the woods and is very steep, that's probably not the best hill to slide down because you're sledding into trees."
What the hell, Brad? Why even sell sleds?
He's not done.
"We recommend that kids are sitting upright, feet first, and you should wear a helmet whether that's a bike helmet or a ski helmet," Sobolewski concluded.
I have news for those who are pushing for the Pussification of Sledding
You can't bubble wrap them, Brad.
The same goes for you suburban moms who have never seen your kids bleed.
Parenting the danger right out of your kids on the sledding hill is like stripping away their soul. Imagine telling your kid he's wearing a helmet to the sledding hill.
What's next, kids wearing helmets so they don't go face-first into a sheet of ice at the bottom of the hill, causing facial lacerations that will look AWESOME in photos 20 years from now?
Kids need to feel the danger, Brad, before going home to their 4 bed, 4 bathroom, 3,500 sq. ft. house, with a fully finished basement adding another 3,200 sq. ft. of living space, where the thermostat has never dropped below 72 degrees in the dead of winter.
They need to feel that wind in their face as they're doing 40 mph down the sledding hill that may or may not end right at the edge of a creek.
Around 20,000 kids are injured each year due to sledding like maniacs.
Toothpicks cause thousands of injuries to kids each year and they're still sitting there at cash register at breakfast joints around the country just waiting to injure precious boys and girls.
The lesson here is that you should rarely, if ever, listen to local TV reporter nerds who bring on other nerds to scare you into living a boring life.
Go let the wind hit you in the face and enjoy life. You've earned it.